Recall
by Lord Thibault
Summary: This is the sequel to my story 'Exile'. Sonea and Akkarin have left Imardin, but unknown to Akkarin, Sonea has a secret - she is pregnant. How will Akkarin react when he finds out? Have the Ichani been finally defeated? What is happening in the Guild? How will Balkan cope as High Lord? How will Sonea and Akkarin cope in their new life? Written from Sonea's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**A New Home**

Sonea could feel the ache in her thighs deepen as it spread into her lower back. No matter how hard she tried, riding did not come easily to her and after only a day in the saddle, she was already tired, full of pain and, most of all, irritable. Akkarin had been correct. The shaggy mountain horse she was riding was a calm animal, sure-footed over the uneven terrain and happy to move along with the others with no fuss or complaint. However, that didn't make her feel any better, especially when she could see Akkarin ahead, riding with all the ease of a young noble seated on a thoroughbred.

_It's all right for him!_ she moaned to herself. _He was probably put on his first horse as soon as he could walk. _He had set a steady pace which required her to concentrate on keeping her balance. They had only paused for short breaks to have some water or eat something and it seemed to Sonea that she had barely Healed her aches and pains before it was time to start off again. She had found out early in their journey, much to her dismay, that concentrating on riding and Healing herself at the same time was impossible. That meant any relief of her discomfort had to wait until Akkarin decided to stop for a break. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to need much relief from riding!

The light had almost gone, before Akkarin stopped for the night. They were in a wooded area but with his uncanny ability to find the right place, Akkarin led them to a clearing where there was a small pool, plenty of trees with wood for a fire and a fine flat area for sleeping.

Unlike their last journey, Sonea didn't have to worry about making up beds or preparing food as Takan took on those tasks. She was able instead to sink wearily to the ground and concentrate on Healing the worst of her pains. Akkarin, on the other hand, seemed barely touched by the hours spent in the saddle and went off to find some meat for their meal. She found herself lying back, eyes closed and a pleasant feeling of drifting into sleep, only to be recalled to the present by Takan offering her a hot mug of tea.

She took it gratefully, only momentarily wishing it was raka. As she sipped the drink, she watched Takan skilfully keep the fire burning at just the right intensity to cook a pot of something he had suspended over it. Soon a savoury smell filled the air and Sonea found her mouth watering in response.

By the time they had finished their meal, night had fallen, bringing with it a chilly breeze. They rolled themselves in their cloaks but it took a long time for Sonea to fall asleep. It was difficult to keep out the cold unless she used magic and of course, once she drifted into sleep, the magic stopped and she was woken again by tendrils of icy air finding its way through the gaps in the material. She kept changing position, trying to keep the cold air out, until Akkarin, disturbed by her tossing and turning, drew her close and covered her with his cloak too. At last she was warm and sleep soon came.

They were on their way again very early the next morning. The day was crisp and cold, although the sun was bright. They made good progress for the rest of the day and now the distant mountains were larger on the horizon, and the land they were travelling through was becoming more moor-like, with wide open areas where little grew except stunted trees and cheerful patches of purple heather. Their mid-day meal was a simple one, bread and ham, washed down with water from a nearby stream. Then they were back in the saddle and rode on until dark.

This time, they spent the night in an abandoned cabin. They were out of the wind and Sonea had no trouble falling asleep as soon as she lay down. She was vaguely aware when Akkarin joined her, wrapping himself around her, but she was too tired to do anything more than murmur a vague greeting.

All too soon, she was being shaken awake as Takan's voice sounded close to her ear, "Tea, my lady? Akkarin asks you ready yourself quickly as he wishes to be moving in a few minutes."

She took the mug and swallowed the contents, trying to ignore the sharp heat as the tea went down, until it formed a pleasantly warm area in her stomach. She sat up, noticing that she was wrapped in Akkarin's cloak as well as her own. She took a moment to freshen her clothing with magic and ran her fingers through her hair to remove the worst of the tangles. Already she could see Takan packing up the pots and pans he'd used for their evening meal. There was a slice of bread and honey left for her on a nearby flat stone and she ate it quickly. Akkarin had reappeared and was already mounted.

She shook out the cloaks and took his over to Akkarin. She reached for her horse and swung herself up into the saddle, pleased that she was able to do so unassisted. _Perhaps I can learn to be a horsewoman, after all,_ she thought settling her position and slipping her feet into the stirrups. Then they were off and almost immediately she felt the all too familiar feeling of protesting muscles. She gritted her teeth and pressed on with the others.

The next two days passed in similar fashion; all the time, the mountains came nearer and the land became more difficult to negotiate. They were climbing constantly, now, and the air never really warmed thoroughly, even at mid-day. As far as Sonea was concerned, one day merged into another and her main concern was to roll into her cloak as soon after their evening meal as possible and sleep. She had little opportunity to speak with Akkarin who, true to his actions on her first journey with him, frequently disappeared with no word. Mostly, she had to admit, his disappearances coincided with the finding of food, but not always and as ever, she was curious about what he was doing. _It's no use asking, _she reminded herself, resignedly. At least she had learned that much!

She awoke on the morning of the fifth day to a frosty scene and a sharp bite in the breeze. Takan was already bent over a small fire and she could smell something hot and spicy. She stood up and used magic to clean herself and her clothing, before going over to him and accepting a hot mug of tea. She peeped into the cooking pot and saw it contained a bubbling mixture of a sort of porridge, but it didn't smell like the breakfast meal she was familiar with. This porridge wasn't white, but yellow and the aroma was decidedly foreign to her nose.

Takan spooned some of the mixture into a bowl and handed it to her. "This will warm you," he said with a smile.

She took it and tried a mouthful. It was very hot in two senses of the word, cooking temperature and the spicy flavour. It wouldn't have been her first choice for the first meal of the day, but she had to admit that it warmed her thoroughly, from inside to outside, very quickly.

Takan suppressed a smile as he saw her initial reaction, "Something from home, my home," he said. "The best thing on a cold morning."

She had almost finished when Akkarin returned. He took a bowl of food from the pot, came over to where she was sitting and sat, crossed-legged, beside her.

"How do you like Takan's special breakfast?" he asked with a grin.

"It's different," she smiled back, "But it certainly warmed me up. Do you like it?"

"I'm used to it," he said and she knew better than to ask how or why.

Not long afterwards, they were packed and ready to start. She had asked when they would reach their destination and Akkarin had said that he hoped they would be there by nightfall. She really couldn't wait, despite not knowing what was awaiting her. As long as it had a chair and a bed, she would be satisfied.

There seemed to be a new sense of urgency in their journey this day. Akkarin set a much faster pace than previously and it took all of her newly acquired riding skills to keep up without too many aches and pains. She noticed Takan glancing regularly at the sky, a crease in his forehead. At the first opportunity, she asked him what was the matter.

"The weather is worsening, my lady," he replied. "There's a storm coming."

Once he drew her attention to it, it was obvious that the weather was closing in. There was a heavy white mist covering the mountaintops and the sky was covered with dark grey cloud. She shivered, the wind was much keener too.

"Will we reach shelter before the storm arrives?" she asked him.

Takan shrugged, "I don't know how far away our shelter is."

Sonea was surprised. She had assumed that Akkarin and Takan would have discussed things and she felt a little better at knowing she was not the only one Akkarin kept in the dark.

_Akkarin?_ she sent. H_ow much further do we have to go?_

_Verrin! _was all the answer she received and she belatedly remembered that magicians could hear other magicians' mental communication unless the sending used very narrow targeting. She, of course, hadn't thought about that.

_Verrin, how much further?_ she tried again.

_We will be there before nightfall_ was the less than helpful response, but with that she had to be content because there was no further answer to her questions.

The storm caught them mid-afternoon. It arrived on a strong, cruel wind, bringing stinging hail mixed with snow. At times, it was impossible to see more than a short way ahead. As the storm grew in intensity, even the horses were unsettled by it, so they found shelter of sorts in a rocky outcrop which provided some respite from the wind. Akkarin used magic to create a shield around them, while Sonea created some warmth within it. They used the time to eat some bread and cheese, but she could see that Akkarin was keen to continue and resented the time spent in one spot.

It was over an hour before the storm lessened enough for them to continue on their journey. The hail had stopped, but snow continued to fall, masking the smugglers' trail they were following. Akkarin dismounted and led the way, it slowed them down but it was the only way to avoid slipping off the trail and in places, one false step could have led to unpleasant consequences. Darkness fell so Akkarin was forced to make a globelight. He kept it small so it only gave out a faint light, but it was enough for him to discern the trail. He made no attempt to stop, and made it clear that they would continue until they reached their destination.

Sitting on the slowly plodding horse, Sonea found the rhythm was sending her to sleep. It was tempting to close her eyes and let the horse take her where it will, but once or twice, she had be recalled to reality by a sharp word from Akkarin, as she allowed the horse to wander near to the edge.

At last, the procession came to a halt. She slid wearily down off the horse and looked around. They were in some sort of valley between two high ridges. The floor of the valley was flattish and, as far as she could see, relatively wide, compared to the trail they'd been following. There was sparse vegetation poking through the snow as well as some clumps of trees. She could hear water running somewhere, but little else apart from the wind which was whistling along the valley floor, driving snow ahead of it. In front of her, she could just see the outline of a building.

They led the horses towards it and as they got closer, Sonea could see it was actually a small group of buildings, a larger one with two smaller ones to one side. They put the horses in one of the barns giving them the last of the hay and then went in to the larger building. Once the door was shut, they lit several globelights which showed them a large room with a number of doors off. There was nothing much in the way of furniture, except a small wooden table and a couple of benches, but there was a fireplace with some wood stacked next to it.

"We'll start a fire with this, but we need more wood," Takan said. "I'll go and look if there's any around."

"You know this place?" Sonea asked Akkarin when they were alone.

"It's known to only one or two people who use the smugglers' trails around here. It's a useful refuge in times of bad weather. That's why there's usually some wood in here."

As he'd been speaking, Akkarin was checking the rest of the room. He opened one of the doors and looked inside. "There's something approaching a scullery here," he said, "Takan will be happy!"

Meanwhile Sonea had opened another door and discovered a modest room, with a cupboard at one end. There was a small window which she assumed looked out over the valley. The third door concealed a staircase. She went up and discovered two rooms on the floor above. Each had a raised platform at one end, but little else, just a shabby chest in one room and a set of shelves in the other. All the rooms were dusty and it looked as if no one had been there for a long time.

By the time she came downstairs again, Takan had returned and a fire was crackling in the fireplace. He had already set a pot to warm and was busily putting things into some water from his food pack. She warmed her hands gratefully encouraging the fire to burn hotly with a little magic. Akkarin came to stand beside her and she glanced up at him, "We are going to stay here, then?" she asked.

He nodded, "It needs some work, but it's sturdy enough and large enough. Once the winter is over, there'll be somewhere we can grow some food. It will be comfortable by the time we're finished with it."

"But won't the people who shelter here find it strange to see it lived in?"

"They'll soon get used to the idea," Akkarin said. "There used to be an old couple living here years ago. They'll probably assume we're their family. Besides, we're not talking about lots of visitors, perhaps only one or two and then, only when it's really necessary. Smugglers tend to prefer their own arrangements."

Takan had brought in all the packs from the horses so Sonea went to examine their contents. Those with clothing, she put aside as she was familiar with their contents. Nor did she examine Takan's pack. It was the others she was interested in, wondering if there was anything in them which would add to their comfort. She discovered three thick blankets tied up in sheets, some pots and pans, a store of food, a few plates and mugs, but little else. She stood looking at the things from the packs she had spread out, wondering why some things had been carefully brought along while other things she thought would have been top of the list, had been left behind.

She heard a warm laugh behind her and turned to find Akkarin regarding her with a cheerful expression on his face, "So, Sonea, where did I go wrong in deciding what to bring?"

She blushed to think he had read her so easily, "I'm sure you have a reason for everything," she acknowledged.

He came to her, wrapping an arm across her shoulders and drawing her into his side, "We'll eat, then sleep. Tomorrow, we can talk all you want about what happens next."

After one of Takan's tempting stews, she and Akkarin went upstairs into one of the rooms and closed the door. Their clothing packs were already neatly stacked up against one of the walls. Sonea used magic to clear away the dust and clean the room, then taking a couple of blankets and a sheet, she made up a bed on the raised platform. They rolled their cloaks to use as makeshift pillows and, keeping on their clothes against the night chill, lay under the blankets, their arms around each other. It was a rather hard resting place, but she was so tired, it didn't really matter.

_Tomorrow, it will all be sorted out_, she thought sleepily. _At least we are here, safely in our new home._


	2. Settling In

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Settling In**

The snow had stopped falling sometime during the night. Staring out of the window, Sonea could see the valley more clearly now. Although it had seemed wide and long when they arrived last night, in reality it was merely wider and flatter than the trails they had been following for the past two days. She thought it was probably only around three times larger than the magicians' gardens at the Guild. It was hemmed in by tall, steep-sided peaks on either side which made it feel even smaller than it actually was. From where she was looking, she was unable to see the entrance or the exit. The place could be easily defended and she wonder if that was why Akkarin had chosen it.

_How did he know it was here? _There were still so many unanswered questions and she hoped that Akkarin's comment the previous night that they would talk about everything meant that he was willing at last to share things with her. He was not in the building, of course. She had awakened to find him gone and she could see fresh horse tracks in the snow outside. She still found it rather irritating that he continually disappeared with no warning. _I think I'd better get used to it, or life is going to be one eternal irritation!_

She looked around the room. Takan had already started to make it feel more homely. He had spread out his pots and pans near the fireplace and was busily stirring a pot hanging over the flames. The room had been swept and the bits of furniture dusted. Takan seemed in a cheerful mood as she could hear some sort of quiet singsong chanting coming from his direction. She watched him, fascinated. She had never really seen him cook before, only relished the results. He was fully absorbed in his task, rather like a magician concentrating on performing a complicated spell and she was sure he had never been happier.

The sound of a horse drew her attention to the outside again. It was Akkarin and she could see he had several bundles of something hanging from his saddle. She watched as he swung himself down, as graceful as ever, and led the horse towards the stable. They disappeared inside and she continued to watch until he emerged again and strode towards the house.

The door opened and he came in, stamping his feet to dislodge the snow. He looked in a cheerful mood, his cheeks above the beard pink and glowing from the cold. He hung his cloak on a peg near the door and came to the fire, spreading his hands to the warmth.

"Good morning!" she said brightly. "Where have you been?"

"Seeing if there was fodder for the horses," he replied. "The hay we brought from Imardin is all gone. Luckily, I saw something on the way here yesterday and went back to get it. It's not enough, but it's a start."

As he was speaking he came towards her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Sleep well?" he asked and seemed pleased when she nodded. They exchanged small talk while Takan set out their breakfast on the table. He had made porridge again, but this time it was more like the meal Sonea was used to, creamy white and without much in the way of spices. She ate it gratefully, feeling particularly hungry. The cold weather really did bring out her appetite and she was pleased there was enough for a second helping.

Once the meal had been eaten and the remains cleared away, Takan made fresh tea and the three of them pulled their chairs nearer the fire. It was time to talk. Sonea looked expectantly at Akkarin.

He cleared his throat, "Perhaps it would be best if you asked questions, then I can tell you what you really want to know," he said quietly.

"Where exactly are we?" Sonea asked quickly, "I know we're in the Steelbelt Ranges, but where?"

"We are very close to the border with Sachaka, but firmly still in Kyralia," he replied. "I suppose our nearest town is Galia, that's where we'll need to go for supplies. It has a market and as strangers as well as locals use the market, we won't stand out as someone new in the area."

"I really wish I'd paid attention when we were learning geography!" Sonea exclaimed, "I really don't know much about anywhere outside Imardin."

Akkarin laughed and drawing a scrap of paper from his pocket, sketched a rough map, pointing out places and directions until she was surer of where they were. Now that question was out of the way, she had several more.

"What will we do here? Will we still study magic? Will we meet up with others? …"

Akkarin smiled at her enthusiasm, but held up a hand to prevent any more questions.

"We will try to survive here in as comfortable a manner as possible. Yes, there is still much to learn. I'll teach you to shield as a first priority. We must be careful with using magic. I explained before that unless a magician shields properly, any other magician within a reasonable distance is aware magic is being used and can pinpoint the direction. We are not that far from some Magicians' Communities, including your friend Dorrien, and we don't want to alert anyone that more magicians have moved into the area. As well as our own Guild members, we have to remember the Ichani are not far away. We need to stay undetected by any magic user on either side of the border."

"As far as meeting others is concerned, you must understand, Sonea, that I intend to remain completely unrecognised and undetected. Our security depends on it. If the Guild has any suspicion that I am still alive or that you are here, they will send Warriors to capture us. The same goes for the Ichani. Kariko's death will not change much. It will slow down their preparations for an attack on the Guild, but it won't stop them.

Why do you think I have chosen a place close to the wastelands? It's so we can react quickly if the Ichani move against us again."

Sonea thought over what Akkarin said and it made sense. Just because the Guild saw them as enemies and wished for their destruction didn't alter their purpose. They were still available to defend the Guild whether it wanted them to or not. Thinking back to Akkarin's makeshift map, she knew they were between the two Passes, in an ideal position to intercept any Ichanis who tried to cross the border. They would need to keep their Warrior skills honed, though, as well as continuing to study other things.

"What about your magic books?" she asked. "How will we study without books and parchments?"

"I cannot recreate my library, that was lost with the Residence, but I did have some books in Imardin and I made arrangements for them to be transported to Galia. Takan will collect them from the local inn when he goes to the market."

Faced with this fresh evidence that Akkarin's plans were usually several steps ahead of anyone else's, Sonea couldn't prevent a congratulatory grin from spreading over her face, "I might have known…" she said, rolling her eyes at him.

"Takan will go to the market tomorrow with the packhorse," he went on. "If there is anything you want particularly, let him know."

The rest of the day passed quickly as there was so much to do. Sonea went out to collect wood for the fire while Akkarin collected more fodder to store in the hayloft over the stable. Later, using magic, Sonea cleaned the rest of the house, taking the opportunity to poke around in small cupboards and other places to see what the building could offer. Over the evening meal, she suggested that they use the small room on the ground floor as a place where she and Akkarin could study magic.

"There's even a cupboard where we can store our books," she pointed out.

Takan had been inspecting the scullery and pronounced it would do well as a kitchen. There was an old stone sink which only needed a thorough clean, to be suitable and Akkarin promised to get wood to make shelves so that his servant could store all his ingredients and pots and pans.

"I should like a fire place, so I can cook there too," Takan said firmly. "It's not appropriate to cook food in the main room."

There was general agreement that Takan should have his wish, after all, it was in everyone's interests that the best cook in Kyralia should be happy in his place of work!

"There's something I would like," Sonea thought it would be a good moment to make her bid for space as they were deciding what to use the accommodation for. "Would it be possible to have somewhere to bathe?"

Akkarin thought for a moment, then nodded. "Come with me,"

He led them to the other barn at the side of the house. It was much smaller than the stable, but it was a sturdy building with a good roof and plenty of space to put a bath. Sonea was delighted, the stream was nearby so there would be a plentiful supply of water and it wouldn't take too much magic to heat it to the right temperature. She almost danced around with joy, there was very little she liked more than a good hot bath.

"Well, that's settled then," Sonea said with satisfaction, as they returned to the house. "We'll have this place feeling like a home soon."

It had started to snow again, although not heavily, and Sonea wondered what the weather would be like once full winter arrived.

"It will be very cold and the snow is likely to be deep," Akkarin said in response to her question. "We have a week or two to collect as much wood, fodder and food as we can, then we will have to face being snowed in for some time. Spring comes late to the tops of the Steelbelt Ranges, we mustn't forget that. There'll be a lot of preparation to do to ensure we can survive without needing to leave here."

For the first time in quite a while, Sonea thought about the child. _Would it be born before the spring? _She didn't know. She wished she had asked Lorlen exactly when it would be born, but in the shock of finding out she was pregnant, she hadn't thought to ask. She tried to count up the weeks, but her mind refused to work it out. She looked up to find Akkarin staring at her and quickly pushed all thoughts of her pregnancy to the depths of her mind.

"That sounds worrying," she said hastily, hoping Akkarin would only see her concern for the weather in her surface thoughts and nothing else. "There's not much time to get it all sorted out."

Akkarin disappeared a bit later, and when he returned, he had altered his appearance. The full heavy beard had gone, but he had kept it around his mouth and chin, trimming it close to his skin. The small, pointed beard suited him, Sonea thought, although her preference was still for the clean-shaven High Lord.

He smiled at her reaction, "This is the final version! Meet newly retired sea captain Verrin who has come, with his woman and servant, to take possession of his uncle's old farm. You will be Syma, of course, and Takan will be Kanat. That is our story and you must remember it, we don't want any confusion."

They spent the rest of the evening fleshing out their story and ensuring that each of them remembered all the details. Verrin had given up the sea at the urging of his woman who hated being left alone. He remembered that his old uncle had died a few years ago, leaving him the farm and it seemed like a good time to settle down, with the bit of money he'd saved, to see if he was cut out to be a farmer. Syma was happy and the servant had no opinion.

"We need to keep it simple," Akkarin had said. "If it gets too complicated, we'll forget bits and that way leads to trouble."

They all went off to their beds shortly afterwards. Sonea was glad to find that neither of them was too tired for lovemaking. As she lay, naked in his arms afterwards, he began to run his hands over her body in a slow, soothing rhythm.

"Your body seems to like my attentions," he said softly, his fingers lightly circling, "I do believe your breasts have become bigger; all these caresses must agree with you."

Sonea froze. _Surely the signs weren't obvious yet! _She made a light-hearted comment about him tiring her out so she needed her sleep and tried to turn away, but he wouldn't let her.

"No," he said, still softly, "Don't move. I love exploring your skin."

She tried again, but still, he kept her in position. In an attempt to stop him finding more changes in her body, she pressed herself against him, her head against his chest, so that he could only move his hands along her back. All the while her mind was in a whirl. Half of her knew that there was no reason now why she couldn't tell him he was to be a father, but at the back of her mind was the fear of his reaction. _Not yet, not yet! Let's just get used to being here, then I'll tell him._

But it was the small niggling voice which kept her awake long after Akkarin had gone to sleep.

_The longer I wait, the harder it will become._


	3. Confession

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Confession**

The snow had been falling steadily for several hours, and it was already difficult to distinguish the edges of their valley through the white curtain of large flakes. Sonea, who was busy preparing a meal, stopped every so often and stared out of the window, hoping to see horses and riders moving towards the house.

Akkarin and Takan had been gone for three days, taking all four horses. They had decided to make one last effort to collect supplies before the weather closed in for the winter. Sonea hadn't minded being alone for the first day and night. There was much to do and time passed relatively quickly, especially as she now had Akkarin's books to work through. However, time began to drag on the second day and now she wasn't looking forward to another night alone.

She left the pot simmering over the scullery fire and returned to the window, trying to penetrate the falling snow, to see if there were any dark shapes moving across the white. She gave up searching when her eyes began to play tricks as she started to see movement in every direction she looked.

_Verrin? _she sent, _Verrin?_

There was no answer. She didn't know if it was because Akkarin didn't want to respond or whether he hadn't heard her. She was reluctant to keep sending. If any of the Guild magicians in the area heard an unknown person continually sending, it might alert them to a new presence in a place where no magicians were supposed to be.

The fire hissed loudly as some of the bubbling liquid from the pot spat into the fire. She moved it away from the direct heat. She had made a stew, using meat from a plump wild animal that Takan had trapped earlier, along with a few roots she had found in what looked as if it had once been a vegetable garden. She sniffed the steam, it didn't smell too bad, in fact it smelt quite good, not as flavoursome as Takan's efforts of course, but reasonably palatable she thought, and not bad at all for a first try at cooking something as complicated as stew. She hoped there would be someone to share it with her.

She made some tea and went to sit at the table. There was something other than cooking on her mind and she had finally come to a decision. She had to confess to Akkarin that she was pregnant. Her time had run out and she couldn't delay any longer. In the days since she had been alone, she had become conscious of a faint trace of magic in the air. She knew it wasn't her own magic because it felt different in some way, she wasn't exactly sure how, but it was alien. There was no one else at all in the area, let alone another magician, so the only possible source was the child.

_If I can sense it_, she thought, _Akkarin is bound to notice as soon as he comes back_, _his magic is so much stronger than mine. I cannot simply let him discover it, that will increase his anger, I must tell him myself._

As soon as the decision was finally made, she began to feel better, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her mind. Now all she had to do was decide how to put her news into the right words at the right time. She placed a hand over the slight curve of her stomach and sent her magic searching for a response. Again, she could sense the 'other', nothing more definite than that. The strange magic was a tiny tendril poking out as if seeking something, rather like a new plant breaking through the soil. Sonea wished again that she had learned more about pregnancy, especially where magicians' children were concerned, but she hadn't. She couldn't recall any lessons on the subject, even from the Healers. If she had gone the traditional path, courtship and marriage within the Guild, there would have been advice enough, but in typical 'Sonea fashion' she had acted differently and now she was alone in the mountains with a Warrior and a servant for company and she was sure neither of them knew anything about babies either!

Sonea had just spooned some of the stew into a bowl when she heard Akkarin's mental voice telling her they were almost home. She put her own meal aside and rushed to set the table, so all would be ready. They would be cold and tired so a hot meal would be more than welcome. She went back to her watching post by the window and was soon rewarded by the sight of dark smudges moving towards the house, gradually increasing in size until she could distinguish the laden horses. They were being led, not ridden, and progress was slow, but at last, they reached the front of the house.

Sonea grabbed her cloak and hat and went outside. The icy cold was a shock and she hastily created a warm bubble enclosing her body, shutting out the freezing weather. It only took a few minutes to get the animals into the shelter of their stable and unload their packs. A large assortment of packages soon piled up. Takan quickly collected the food supplies and they left the rest safely stowed in the hayloft until either the weather was better or they felt more like moving stuff around.

She had been right about the stew. Both Akkarin and Takan were hungry and very grateful that food was ready as soon as they stepped inside the house. She was rewarded by having all the stew eaten, the pot well and truly scraped out and herself showered with compliments, even from Takan.

They had been living in the isolated house for some time now and life had developed a pattern. Evenings were usually spent sitting close to the fire, sipping tea or, more rarely some of their precious supply of wine brought carefully back from the market. After an hour or two, the conversation slowly died down and it was time for bed. Country hours, Akkarin called it, up early to make the most of the light, and early to bed, especially when the weather was cold.

This night was no different. Both Takan and Akkarin were physically tired after a rather difficult journey back from Galia, as the roads were icy and treacherous and once they had begun climbing, lying snow and occasional deep drifts had made progress very slow indeed. So Takan went off to his sleeping place in the scullery a little earlier than usual. They had tried to persuade him to use one of the rooms upstairs, but he preferred the warmth of the scullery and had made a neat folding bed, which he could store out of the way during the day.

She expected Akkarin to suggest they go to bed too, but instead he fetched a bottle of the local wine and offered Sonea some, but she shook her head, preferring the warmth of hot tea to the cool wine. He took some himself and settled back down and regarded her steadily.

"You seem a little on edge," he remarked, causing her mouth to dry suddenly.

_This is the time_, she thought. _There's no turning back now_. Yet still she hesitated.

"Do I?" she said and heard the telltale quiver in her voice.

His gaze intensified and she clearly saw the moment when he identified the trace of alien magic in the room. His expression suddenly hardened and his eyes bored into hers. She kept her gaze on his with an effort and willed her face into calm and confident lines.

"Yes," was all he said, but there was an undercurrent in his tone that she hadn't heard before.

_This is my man_, she thought. _He loves me, what am I afraid of?_ _The child is his, I have done nothing wrong. _But she had done wrong. She had kept the existence of the child from him. She had put the baby in danger by taking part in a magical attack and had been struck by magical forces which might have done damage she was unaware of. That was why she was afraid.

She had just opened her mouth to reply, when he moved suddenly from his chair and took her arm in a firm grip. She felt his hand on her temple force up her head until she could see nothing but his large dark eyes blazing directly into her own.

"You are afraid of me," his voice came to her as if from a distance, then he was in her head.

She could see his image imprinted on her brain, sorting her memories, letting them spin through his hands faster and faster.

"Ah!" His mental voice was sharp and abruptly he left her mind.

She was left shaken by the experience. He had not done anything like it before; it was almost a violation. She felt the tears start to form and dropped her gaze quickly, hoping he hadn't seen. She was conscious he had returned to his chair and had picked up his wine. She looked up at him. He was sitting perfectly still, staring intently at her, waiting…

"You have seen?" Her voice was quiet, but thankfully, it was steady.

"You are with child."

"Yes," she whispered, not daring to say more. She could feel his anger vibrate in the room, almost as if it were a tangible thing, yet his voice was calm, cold even, with no emotion.

"Tell me!" It was a command and she rushed to obey.

She heard herself explain, a little shakily at times, how she came to find herself with child and her decision not to tell him straight away.

"I was going to tell you, but not until we were settled wherever we were going to live," she admitted. "I was going to tell you tonight."

"How convenient," there was nothing in his tone which told her how he truly felt. "You were going to tell me tonight, but said nothing until after I learned your secret for myself."

Despite all her earlier good intentions, Sonea found herself wrong-footed again. How could she make him believe that she had intended to tell him? What could she say that would make it all right?

"I was," she insisted, "I was. It was just that I wasn't sure how to start….."

Her words trailed away as she saw the sadness in his face, "Is there no end to your wilfulness, Sonea?" His voice matched his expression and it affected her perhaps more than outright anger would have done.

"What do you mean?" she asked, almost dreading the answer.

He sighed and turned his gaze away from her and towards the fire. He was silent for a moment, then said, "Without consulting me, you allowed yourself to become pregnant."

When she would have protested, he held up his hand to prevent her, "Instead of telling me as soon as you found out, you put yourself and the child in danger by fighting Kariko and his son. Even after that, you kept it from me." He looked up at her, his eyes pinning her with the intensity of his gaze. "What is the real reason you decided to tell me tonight?"

She swallowed nervously. There was no lie she could tell him that he would not discover. Only the truth would serve her now. "While I was here on my own, I began to sense the baby's magic. I knew you would too. I needed to confess before you discovered it for yourself."

He nodded and a brief smile crossed his lips, "Truth at last. Even you understand when a lie cannot be sustained any longer. You were right. I sensed the child's magic quite clearly." He looked down at the fire again and sipped his wine.

She stared at him, waiting for his anger to erupt, but it was almost as if he had forgotten she was there. Somehow that was so much worse. She had steeled herself to face his anger. She did not know how to deal with his sorrow.

"Akkarin, I'm sorry," she said softly.

Just as softly, he replied, "You always are."

"I won't keep anything else from you, I promise," she said. "I mean it," she added as he didn't respond, "I really do mean it. I'll swear any oath you want!"

"Until the next time," he countered.

"It's all right now, isn't it?" she rushed on quickly. "We're here together and soon there will be a child to make us a real family. We're safe here and we can teach the child magic…"

He gave a short bark of laughter, "Sometimes I forget how young you truly are, Sonea. We're cut off here, probably for months. Do you think I would have brought a pregnant woman here to give birth, with no help at hand? Or chosen a place where life will be difficult as the ideal place to bring up a child? No, I would not! Now, though, there is no choice."

He got to his feet and poured himself more wine. She took a swallow of her tea, but it had gone cold. Using magic, she reheated it and took a sip. Akkarin returned to his chair and sat down. He looked at her, saying nothing, merely taking the occasional sip of wine. She found his silence unnerving yet couldn't think how to break it without her words leading to further problems. But as the silence stretched between them, she found she had to speak.

"I didn't just decide to become pregnant, I didn't know how to prevent it. I thought you would do that."

He turned a disbelieving gaze on her, "You must have known. All the female novices are taught what to do."

"Well I wasn't!" she said sharply. "Somehow I must have missed that lesson."

"So how did you discover it?" he asked.

"Lorlen told me. He examined me because I wasn't feeling well and found the reason…."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she'd made a mistake. Somehow, in searching her memories, Akkarin hadn't found the one which showed Lorlen knew and she hadn't mentioned him in recounting her tale. His face darkened and the cold, distant mask slid over his features.

"Lorlen!" he almost spat the name, "Lorlen knew but you didn't feel you could tell me! All the time he was with us in Imardin, he knew about the child and both of you kept it from me!"

The anger, which had been missing before, raged in his voice and underneath it, she could hear a trace of something rather like hurt. She could see how it looked to him, a conspiracy against him, to keep him unaware of the existence of his own child. She went over to him and knelt at his side, as she had done so many times before when things had been difficult between them. She took his unresisting hand and looked up into his face.

"I made Lorlen swear not to tell you. He wanted to, but he agreed to do what I wanted, against his own better judgement. We didn't do it to prevent you ever finding out. I always intended to tell you, it was just a matter of where and when."

Surprisingly his hand tightened around hers until it was almost painful, "You always have reasons for what you do," he said sharply, "Always. Every time I think that all is settled between us and we can face the future in harmony, something you've done comes to light and shatters everything."

His hand released hers and she stopped herself from examining it or rubbing it. He stood up and looking down at her as she remained kneeling on the floor, he said coldly, "Go to bed Sonea. I will stay here. I have a lot to think about."

She started to protest, but he cut her off, "Go to bed, Sonea." Command was back in his voice and there was no point in arguing.

She went.


	4. Settling Things

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Settling Things**

Sonea spent a wretched night. Akkarin didn't come to join her, so she was left alone to toss and turn, unable to fall asleep, yet bone weary and desperate for sleep. At first, she had assumed that Akkarin would come upstairs after finishing his wine. Then, when that didn't look likely, she thought he would come once he felt she would be asleep. Now it was near dawn and she was still alone in the bed.

"It's no use," she spoke aloud. "I might as well get up as stay here!"

She slipped her feet into her shoes and reached for a thick shirt, which she tugged on over her sleeping garment. She shivered slightly but resisted the temptation to use magic to warm herself. Although she had learned from Akkarin how to shield more effectively, there were still times when she failed to hide her use of magic completely, especially when, as now, she was tired, and they'd both agreed to reduce the possibility of someone noticing magic where it wasn't supposed to be.

She moved silently to the door, then crept downstairs. The house was silent and cold, the last of the heat from yesterday evening's fire had drained away, leaving behind that bone-chilling damp cold she was still unused to. She hesitated before opening the door at the bottom of the stairs. She strained her ears but could hear nothing. She opened it slowly and entered the room.

The fire had died down until all was left was a dull red glow at its centre. There was little light, but she was able to see Akkarin still seated in his chair, his legs outstretched and crossed at his ankles, his hands held loosely in his lap. He was asleep. She sat down in the chair opposite and stared at him. She had become used to the small beard he now wore which suited the pale oval of his face, although in her heart of hearts, she preferred him clean-shaven. She examined his face carefully, trying to decide exactly which of his features made him so attractive to look at. Was it the slightly almond shape of his eyes? Was it the long straight nose? Or was it the curve of his mouth, with its chiselled lips? She couldn't decide and it didn't matter. It was the face she loved and she couldn't bear it if he turned away from her.

_How can I make it all right again? _That was her constant thought. _I've done it before, when all seemed lost. _That much was true and things were so different now. They were trapped in this house, and would be until spring. He couldn't physically leave her and she had time on her side. There were times when she was supremely confident, but then there were others, like now, when she was unsure.

"What do you want?"

His voice startled her. Last time she'd looked, his eyes had been closed, but now they were staring at her, with no warmth in their dark depths.

"You didn't come to bed last night, so I though I'd come to you," she kept her voice light with an effort and smiled briefly at him. "You obviously spent a better night than I did, I couldn't sleep."

He sat up and stirred the embers, adding more wood, coaxing the fire into life with a little help from magic. Once the blaze was to his satisfaction, he sat back in the chair and turned his gaze towards her. For what seemed like endless minutes, he said nothing, merely looked in her direction. She fought the impulse to fill the silence and eventually, he spoke.

"Well, Sonea," he said, "What do you want to say?"

"I was wrong, there, I've admitted it! I should have told you as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but I didn't because I knew you would prevent me from going with you to fight Kariko. I didn't want you to go alone, not after the last time."

She saw his lips curve briefly into that crooked smile she found so attractive and her heart lurched. It was going to be all right, she was sure. Then he sighed and she knew it was not going to be that easy.

"You have a knack of looking at me, just so, with big sad eyes and a sincere expression as you tell me your reasons for whatever it is you've done," his voice sounded weary and she wondered if he had in fact slept or stayed awake just as she had. "You promise not to do whatever it is again, that this time, you understand. And every time you succeed in convincing me…until the next time."

She started to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her, "I told you that night in Imardin, when we had this same discussion, I couldn't go on living with you like this." A bitter laugh escaped him, "I've dealt with kings, negotiated treaties and helped to prevent wars during my time as High Lord, but I have never been faced with dealing with something as difficult as you. It's like trying to catch water in a sieve, just when you think you've managed to get hold of some, it slips away leaving no trace behind."

She didn't know what to say. She could see things from his point of view. She was difficult, she did make rash decisions and she did tend to forget about the consequences of her actions both on herself and on others. There was a limit to how many times she could say 'sorry' and expect people to just go on with their lives as if nothing had happened.

All at once, she lost her grip on her volatile emotions and she felt the slow tears trickle down her face. She kept her head down, hoping he wouldn't notice, while she tried to control herself. Despite her efforts, the tears continued to fall at an ever-increasing rate so she was forced, at last, to cover her face with her hands to smother the sobs she could feel welling up in her throat.

She heard him move, then felt his hands pull her up out of the chair and into his arms. He stroked her hair gently and the gesture undid what little control over herself she had left. She sobbed nosily against his chest, her arms around him. She could hear him murmuring something, but she couldn't distinguish the words. He seemed content to let her cry.

After a while, her tears began to lessen and her sobs faded away. He picked her up then, and sat back in the chair, settling her in his lap, with her head on his shoulder. She heard the sound of the crackling fire behind her as the dancing flames created more light and she could feel warmth beginning to steal over her.

"It's all right, Sonea," he said softly. "There's no need to cry any more. It's a wise man who knows what he cannot change and learns to accept it."

She raised her face to look at him, "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I've had all night to think about you and me and the child," he replied. "You're unlike anyone else I know. You're infuriating, you're loving, you're fearless, you're childlike and you're wilful often all at the same time. All of these things together make up my Sonea; change one of them and you would no longer be the person I've come to know. I have to take the whole package, not just the bits I'm comfortable with…"

For a dizzy moment, she'd thought he was going to say '…the person I've come to love…' but as usual, those important little words she was longing to hear didn't cross his lips. She said nothing about that, though, merely laid her hand against his cheek.

"All of me loves you, Akkarin, even the most difficult and awkward bits. There isn't one part of me which doesn't want to be with you."

"I know," his tone was soothing, as if he was speaking to a child and for a second, she resented it. "Real life is not like the fairy tales we tell our children," he went on, "It's not as if we are traditional lovers who are going to live 'happy ever after' lives. I expect we'll continue to argue, and be angry with each other, and our lives will be full of ups and downs. And there is the child to think about now."

"Are you pleased?" she almost didn't dare to ask the question.

"Yes," his answer came without any hesitation, "I never once thought I would be a father and I suppose if I had stayed in the Guild, I never would have become one, but now it's happened, I am looking forward to being part of a family again."

She thought of their old life in the Guild. If no one had discovered the black magic books in her room, life would have gone on in its familiar path. By now, her noviciate would have ended, she would have graduated, chosen a Discipline and would no longer have been able to live in the Residence. What would have happened then? Would Lorlen and Rothen have really denounced Akkarin as a black magician? Would the King have had him executed or would he have ended up in exile, but alone this time, without her to help him survive? And would she have ever discovered her feelings for him? One thing was certain, he would never have indicated any interest on his part, no matter how strongly he felt about her. So perhaps she would have gone through the rest of her life never experiencing the depth of feeling and passion that she had for this man, holding her now so carefully in his arms. That thought of what she might have lost made her pull his head down to meet hers as she kissed him.

_Yes, we are a family now_, she sent, _And we'll always be together_.

His arms tightened around her, _Yes, we will always be together_. His mental voice was warm and she relaxed against him, her eyes closed and sleep which had eluded her all night found her at last.

It was some time later that something disturbed her and she opened her eyes, unsure for a moment of where she was. Daylight was filtering in through the shutters, creating bands of light across the floor. The fire was burning merrily and she was warm and safe. Akkarin's voice came softly in her ear, "Takan is awake and making breakfast. Perhaps you should get dressed?"

"We'll have to tell him about the baby soon," she said, unwrapping her arms from around him and getting to her feet. "What do you think he'll say?"

"We'll tell him today and find out!"

She went upstairs, taking a jug of water, which she heated to exactly the right temperature for a wash on a very cold morning. There was little in the way of choice as far as clothing was concerned. She took her woollen trousers, a thick shirt and her warmest jacket off their hook and dressed quickly. She pulled a comb through her tangled curls and stared at herself in the mirror. She couldn't decide if she had changed very much from the former Novice who had accompanied her former Guardian into the wastelands. Magicians aged slowly, so she couldn't expect to look older, but had her experience of an intimate life altered the expression in her eyes? Did her flesh look smoother and was there a bloom to her skin which wasn't there before? She shrugged. It didn't matter. Her future with Akkarin was settled. He accepted her, faults and all, and the Eye above knew how completely she accepted him. Life, from now on could only get better.

She turned to run back down to a very welcome breakfast, but as she did so, a sharp pain thrust through her core and she doubled over in surprise. The pain stabbed her again and she caught her breath. She stumbled back on to the bed and sat, hunched over, trying to breathe regularly, while she sent a trickle of Healing down to her belly.

Gradually the pain dulled to a throbbing sensation and she was reminded of what had happened to her during the struggle with Mikido and the pain his last strike against her had caused.

_The child_, she thought, _Mikido's strike has damaged the child_.

The pain faded and she was able to sit up. She sat still, horrified at the direction her memories had taken her. She had recklessly put her child's life at risk by engaging in a magical attack on the Ichani and something had happened during it, something which was continuing to cause reaction and pain.

_I can't tell Akkarin!_ Her thoughts were jumbled, but that one was clear. They had only just settled their differences, which, she had to admit, revolved around her own behaviour, so how could she now tell him what she had allowed to happen to their child?

All the strange sensations had gone as quickly as they'd arrived, and she could almost, but not quite, persuade herself that she had simply felt a normal twinge, as many expectant mothers must have felt. She pushed the memory of the incident to the back of her mind. Nothing must show in her thoughts or manner. She walked to the door and set off downstairs. As she did so, she was miserably aware that, once again, she had something to conceal from Akkarin.


	5. Birth

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Birth**

The sun was growing stronger and perhaps the wind was a little less fierce these days. After several weeks of bitterly cold weather, swirling snowstorms and endless days filled with ice, a hint of spring-to-come had reached the tops of the Steelbelt Ranges. The land was still snow-covered and icicles still hung from the eaves, but the sky was bluer, with fewer clouds and the sun was striking sparkles from the ice-covered trees more frequently. Real spring was still weeks away, but Sonea could feel its approach and her spirits were lifted.

She was sitting by the window, so that the sunlight could fall directly upon her, sewing a small garment for the baby. A basket at her feet contained the other clothing she had made during the past few weeks. She laughed a little as she glanced down at it; sewing had never been a skill she had either been good at or enjoyed, but needs must, as her aunt would have said. The child would need clothing, and there was no one else to provide it. She had tried magic, constructing a spell to turn a piece of material into a baby's sleeping shirt, but the results had not pleased her. It had taken a lot of magic both to make the shirt and also shield herself during the process, and she had decided that it just wasn't worth the effort. Rather, to her surprise, she'd lately found sitting in the sun, stitching quietly very soothing and satisfying.

Takan had taken the news of the baby very well. His face had broken into a wide smile as he congratulated them both although Sonea got the strong impression that there was a sense of relief underpinning his reaction. Later, while Akkarin was outside he had taken the opportunity of speaking with her, telling her just how pleased he was that Akkarin would have another person to love and cherish. "It will make him think very carefully about risking his life in the future," he said with a grin.

Since then, both Takan and Akkarin had treated her at times as if she were made of some finely spun, and extremely fragile glass. If she hadn't complained loudly, they would have had her sit enthroned by the fire all day, while they did everything for her. As it was, it was difficult to persuade Takan to teach her to cook and he was forever warning her about sharp knives, hot flame and heavy pots until she wanted to scream. It was hard to convince the two men in her life that pregnancy was a natural condition, although over time she seemed to have some sort of success in that area.

As the weeks passed, her body grew larger and more awkward, her back ached if she was too active, so sitting by the fire became more of a necessity as the day wore on. Luckily she had not had any reoccurrence of the sharp throbbing pain, so she was able to forget about it for days at a time. However, there were times when she sat, her hands protectively curving around her swollen stomach, and tried to use her knowledge of Healing to see if the child was growing as it should. She could sense the alien magic, stronger now, and she got a faint impression of the child's physical body, but beyond that, she was blind. Nor had Akkarin done any better, when he tried to find the child within.

"Perhaps we should just let things be," he said after one such attempt. "It's a long time since I studied Healing and we may do more harm than good by trying to discover how the child is."

Sonea agreed quickly. At the back of her mind was the fear of what Mikido's strike had done. She didn't want Akkarin to worry. _It will be all right_, she reassured herself. _Nothing much happened, it was only a lucky blow and did no damage_.

Her major regret was the loss of lovemaking. Soon after he found out about the baby, Akkarin told her that they must not do anything to affect the child, and to her great disappointment, anything meant exactly that. So nights became a time for simply lying in his arms exchanging kisses and the occasional caress, but little else. She wondered how he could stand it because her own body constantly cried out for his. She longed for him to possess her, to release the flood of passion he created in her body, to find herself once more riding endless waves of pleasure and the more she was denied it, the more she wanted it. Sometimes it was difficult for her to conceal her longing. Yet, outwardly Akkarin remained his calm and at times distant self. She couldn't help but admire his self-control, even when it was used against her. All those days and nights alone in the wastelands, yet she'd had no idea that he'd had strong feelings for her. And now, in the closeness of their bed, he was still able to remain aloof from the needs of the flesh.

She placed the last stitch in the hem and cut the thread. She held up the garment and examined it closely. Her stitching, at the beginning so uneven and awkward, was now neat and precise. It really was true that practice led to better skills! She sorted the clothes into piles. Her aim had been to make six of everything so that there would always be clean garments available and she was almost finished, only another sleeping garment to make and perhaps an extra blanket for the cradle.

The cradle had been a surprise, made for her by Takan. It was a sturdy thing, made of carved wood and set on rockers. She noticed that he had also carved a design into the headboard. On closer inspection, she could see it was a 'V' set in a circlet of woven flowers and leaves. "'V' for family Verrin," Akkarin had said when he saw it, then noticing her surprised expression, went on, "Akkarin of family Delvon, House Velan is gone and our child will be the first of a new family."

She had mulled this over for some time. Although she had never really approved of the Houses because of the way they regarded dwells, being a noble and a member of an important House was her child's birthright. Was it right to deny the baby its heritage? She hadn't entirely given up hope that one day, they all might return to Imardin and had even dreamed of their child being welcomed by Akkarin's family. However, she remembered the implacable look in Akkarin's eyes when he insisted that his old self was gone and decided not to pursue the matter, at least for the moment. _Perhaps in a year or two….._

She struggled to her feet and arched her back a little to relieve the ache. Her body was greatly swollen now, so the birth could not be too far away. She mentally counted up the weeks, perhaps in the next few days or at least by the end of the week, she felt, although she remembered her aunt once saying that first babies didn't have much sense of time and often were much later in arriving than anticipated.

She made some tea and sat gratefully down by the fire to sip it. Takan was outside dealing with the horses and Akkarin had gone to see if the trails were passable yet. Although they had tried to stock up with essentials before the worst of the weather, they were beginning to run low on one or two things and Takan was keen to try to reach the market.

She was still sitting by the fire when she heard Akkarin outside talking to Takan. After a few minutes, he came in, shaking snow and ice from his cloak and stamping his feet to dislodge anything caught up in his boots. He took the mug of tea she poured for him and sat opposite to warm his hands. His face was pink from the cold and he looked as if the walk through the snow had invigorated him. For a moment she envied him his lean body, and, glancing down at her own bulk, she pulled a face. She couldn't wait for the child to be born and her body once more to be her own.

"Is the trail open?" she asked hopefully, but he shook his head, "It's passable for about half an hour's hiking, but after that it's too dangerous. No, we're still stuck and by the look of things, we will be for several weeks yet."

"We'll just have to ration ourselves," she said cheerfully, "I was beginning to tire of that soup Takan is so fond of anyway!"

They spent the afternoon in the grandly named Library, in reality, the smaller room with the cupboard. There, Akkarin had created a fireplace, bought a sturdy table and two chairs from the village, all carried by horseback, and set out his books on some shelves. He had also bought pens, ink and parchment in the market, so the room was fully equipped to enable Sonea to continue her studies under Akkarin's watchful eye. She wasn't sure how Akkarin had managed to save the twenty or so books from his library in the Residence and typically he'd never explained, but she was glad that he had. She enjoyed studying the ancient texts and lessons with Akkarin were never dull.

As the light began to fade, lessons finished for the day. Akkarin replaced the book they had been studying on the shelves while Sonea tidied up her notes and put them into her box which she stored in the cupboard.

"You are a good student Sonea," he said warmly, "You grasp things quickly, I am very pleased with you."

She felt herself grow pink with embarrassment. It wasn't often that she received such praise; certainly few of her teachers in the Guild had bothered to draw attention to her work in a positive way. She looked up at him, certain that he was teasing her, but it was obvious that he was sincere in his approval.

She reached up to replace her box, but as she did so, she felt a sharp pain in her belly. She gasped in surprise and dropped the box back on the table with a bump. She bent over, trying to relieve the sharpness of the cramp-like pain. She felt Akkarin put his arm around her and heard his voice, but she couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. After a moment, the pain stopped and she straightened carefully.

"Are you all right?" Akkarin asked anxiously.

"I think so," she said. "But I think I would like to lie down for a moment."

Akkarin picked her up and carried her upstairs, placing her carefully on the bed. She rested against the pillows and looked at him, "I think the child is coming, not immediately, but soon….."

For a moment, a look of panic crossed his features, but it was so fleeting, she thought afterwards she must have imagined it, because he attended to her with his usual calm efficiency. She was covered with a warm blanket, its ends tucked in around her, and her pillows were plumped up and carefully placed to support her upper body. He left her briefly, but soon returned with a fresh mug of tea. He sat down on a stool beside the bed and took hold of her hand. She squeezed it gratefully.

"I remember my aunt saying the pains came in waves and I think that was the first one."

As she spoke, another thrust of pain caught her and she bit her lips to stop herself from crying out. She was aware of Healing trickling into her and the pain dulled a little. She smiled gratefully at Akkarin, but he frowned back at her.

"I'm not sure how much Healing to give you," he muttered, "I vaguely remember that Healers kept a very tight restriction on how much they gave women in childbirth. I didn't pay much attention at the time, as you can imagine – I was more interested in Healing for Warriors!"

After that, the evening became a time of pain, interspersed with periods when things were back to normal. During her pain-free periods, Sonea's sense of humour returned. She could see that neither of her companions had exaggerated when they said they knew very little about childbirth! Takan's people kept their women segregated during labour and no men had ever witnessed what when on, or so he said. As for Akkarin, the middle child of his family, he had hastily said that he had already been a novice and away at the Guild when his younger sister was born. She herself had only the vaguest notions of what went on, so the three of them were rather in the dark. Sonea just hoped that childbirth being a natural function, her body would know what to do and everything would turn out well.

After several hours of it, however, Sonea became more and more weary and longed with all her heart for it to be over. She lost interest in what was going on around her, but was vaguely aware of cool cloths placed on her forehead, of strong arms supporting her through the worst of the pain, helped with a very little Healing, and of someone constantly replenishing water, and bringing mugs of tea.

Towards the end, she took refuge in a semi-unconscious state, pushing the increasing pain away elsewhere, while she floated somewhere dark, warm and oh so comforting. She was suddenly ripped back to the present by a tremendous burst of pain, then it was all over, and she could hear Akkarin saying something and Takan joining in. Then a short time later bundle was pressed into her arms and she found herself looking down at a perfectly formed child.

"We have a son," Akkarin's voice held the faintest of tremors, "A healthy son."

She looked at her son's face. It was red, but he wasn't crying. His eyes were shut, his lashes a tiny dark crescent on each cheek, and he was breathing steadily. She felt the tears spill over and run down her cheeks. _He is all right! There's no damage. Mikido did not harm our son!_


	6. Fallea

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

**Fallea**

Sonea looked up from the book she was reading to watch her son as he trotted round following the instructions of his father who was teaching him to ride. Justen was tall for his age and very much like Akkarin, with the same long-fingered hands and pale oval face, but, instead of his father's thick silky locks, he had inherited her unruly curly hair, much to her annoyance. He loved riding, especially now he had a pony of his own, chosen for him at the last horse fair. It was a sturdy beast, with a light brown coat and a star shaped mark on its head, well used to rough mountain trails and Justen was turning out to be a capable rider, despite being so young.

Looking at him guiding the pony, a frown of concentration on his face, and seeing the way that his eyes constantly went to his father, seeking his approval, you would never have known that he was a less than perfect child.

In the happy atmosphere, which followed Justen's birth, they hadn't noticed that he was not as other babies. At first, Sonea had merely thought he was an exceptionally happy and contented child, for he never cried. They weren't disturbed during the night either as Justen slept in his cradle or lay patiently awake until one of his parents came to feed him or change him. However, it soon became obvious that Justen never cried, or laughed or made the baby noises that might be expected. He made no noise at all.

The knowledge that her son was mute devastated Sonea. She couldn't help but remember Mikido's strike and the reaction she had had to it, deep inside. _It is my fault! _That thought was constantly running round and round her head, as she lay awake night after night. _My actions caused my son to be mute_. Her distress was made worse because she had never confessed exactly what had happened to Akkarin. As the months and years passed, it became harder and harder to speak of it, until she realised that now she could never speak of it. As a result, it festered within her, an open wound that she could never heal.

Once they realised what was wrong, both Sonea and Akkarin tried to find an answer through magic. They used whatever Healing skills they possessed to try to find a cure, but nothing they could do changed things in the slightest. Justen grew up unable to make any sound at all, not even a grunt.

But being mute was not his only problem; he was unable to hear either. This further blow was not discovered for some time. It was only when Sonea realised that the baby's head only turned towards her if her shadow fell over the cradle or if she touched him, that she understood the entirety of Justen's impairment. She had rushed to Akkarin with this latest news and he held her tightly as she sobbed against his chest.

"We will find a cure," he had promised softly, "If it takes years, we will find a way to help our son."

She raised her tear-stained face and whispered, "How?"

"We'll get books, Healing books, we'll use magic, there are many things we can do," he'd replied.

But nothing they tried worked and she was not at all sure they would ever find an answer. She had convinced herself that Justen's problem was her punishment for the things she had done. As time passed the terrible burden of her guilt grew so that every time she looked at her son, it was like a knife twisting in an old wound. She knew she would spend the rest of her life, learning to live with this burden. The fact that she couldn't share it with Akkarin made things so much worse.

Apart from not being able to hear or make a sound, Justen was a happy and contented child. Akkarin had tested him for magic soon after his first birthday and declared that his ability was strong and one day he would make a powerful magician. This knowledge heartened Sonea because she believed that Justen might find his own cure. The boy was also quick and eager to learn. He would spend a lot of time watching his parents and Takan speaking to each other and soon began to recognise the shapes their lips made. As he grew older, he taught himself to understand the words they were saying, until he could follow conversations easily, as long as he could see people's mouths.

Apart from worries about her son, Sonea's life in the Steelbelt Ranges had not been particularly difficult. Once the winter weather disappeared, it was easy to plan regular visits to Galia and its market. Supplies were frequent and Akkarin had even managed to find a source for old books and texts, which he could buy cheaply. With the arrival of spring in their first year, they had created several areas where they could grow food and grain for the horses. Takan turned out to have a talent for growing vegetables as well as cooking, so they ate well and were even able to preserve some produce for the winter.

However, after almost six years living in their remote home, Sonea was finding things rather dull. If truth were told, she missed the excitement of tracking down and destroying the Ichani. She missed the hustle and bustle of Imardin and sometimes, she even missed the Guild. Unlike Akkarin, who had established a small, but healthy smuggling operation between Kyralia and Sachaka, she rarely left their farm, so her world was limited to the valley where they lived and a few trails round about. When Justen was very young, she had stayed at home with him, while the other two went down to the village. Later, when he was older, leaving him in the capable hands of Takan, she was able to visit Galia more regularly. Now he was learning to ride, she had hopes that all of them could travel down to the village together.

Justen's lesson was over for today and he rushed towards her, grabbing her hand and staring up at her, a questioning look on his face.

"Yes, I saw how well you did," she smiled down at him, "You will soon be able to ride on the more difficult trails. Now, go and see Takan. He'll have a drink for you and some of those little cakes you like."

Justen hurried off as Akkarin came over to join her. "The boy has a natural gift for riding," he said with satisfaction, "Good balance, calm hands and clear signals, so unlike his mother!"

Sonea grinned up at him; it was an old joke. Despite plenty of practice and instruction from Akkarin, she had never really taken to riding. She still felt awkward and was always concerned that the horse would take it into its head to do something unexpected. Some of the trails were dangerous, with worn edges next to deep chasms in places and she never really felt comfortable or in control when perched on her horse. Riding, with an anxious eye on the horse all the time, was not the best way to achieve a natural riding style.

Akkarin went on, "After a bit more practice, he should be able to ride down to the village, as long as I lead his pony. We can make that trip you've been planning, perhaps even stay overnight at an inn somewhere."

"Yes, I'd like that," Sonea replied.

She had her own reasons for wanting to go to Galia. There was a wise woman who lived in the village who dealt in potions and dispensed advice, especially to the female population and Sonea was anxious to consult her. She longed for another child, but despite not using the spell to prevent conception, Sonea had not become pregnant again. A few weeks after Justen's birth, Akkarin had shown her the page in one of his books which gave the contraception spell. She had looked at it, but had no intention yet of using it. Justen deserved a brother or sister, she'd thought. But the spell turned out to be unnecessary as no child was forthcoming, no matter how hard she tried. Akkarin she assumed, for he never discussed the matter with her, thought she was using it and she didn't tell him otherwise.

Like so many things, as time went by, it became almost impossible to raise the subject. If she said she wanted another child, he would simply expect her to stop using the spell. If she then confessed that she hadn't been using it, he would want to know why she hadn't spoken of it earlier. So it became yet another thing to be kept from her lover.

_There are so many things… _Most of the time she was able to simply not think about her many secrets by just concentrating on other things, but there were times, mostly when Akkarin was away and she was alone in their bed, when sleep deserted her and she would lie in the dark while her anxious thoughts whirled around her head until she felt like screaming.

It was a few days later when Akkarin declared himself satisfied that Justen would be able to ride the trails with them. They made plans to stay at one of the inns in Galia for a couple of days. Takan would come with them and use the time to collect his supplies. Akkarin had already arranged to meet one of his smuggler acquaintances, which meant Sonea would have time on her own to see the wise woman.

Approaching the little house where the wise woman lived, Sonea found her throat suddenly dry. She had never consulted anyone other than a Healer over her health and she wondered exactly what sort of skills a village wise woman had. She didn't know much about this one, just her name, Fallea, and where she lived, but she'd heard talk in the market of how good she was and the miracle cures she had performed.

Sonea walked up to the door and knocked. A moment or two later, the door was opened by a small girl who stood staring up at her, unspeaking.

"Is Fallea at home?" Sonea asked.

The child held out her hand and Sonea dropped a silver into her palm. The child examined it suspiciously for a moment, then beckoned her visitor in. She pointed at a chair in the corner, then left the room, presumably to call the wise woman. Sonea didn't sit down, but took the opportunity to look around. There were few things in the way of ornaments or decorations, but there were jugs filled with flowers on every ledge, giving the room a faint, but sweet scent. Over the fireplace, on a long wooden shelf, there were a number of what appeared to be dolls. Sonea picked one up. It was dressed in a brightly coloured skirt and shirt. It was made of some sort of stuffed fabric and bright yellow wool had been stitched in place to represent hair. More stitches represented a pair of eyes, a nose and a smiling mouth.

"It's a wish child," a quiet musical voice behind her said suddenly, and Sonea almost dropped the doll in surprise.

She turned and found herself facing a young woman, with a sweet smile and laughing eyes.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have….." she stammered as the woman took the doll from her and replaced it on the shelf.

"Sit down," Fallea said, "Tell me what your problem is."

Sonea looked at her curiously. She had expected an older woman. She'd had a picture in her mind of a very old woman with masses of wild white hair and dark beady eyes. Instead she was facing a cheerful looking woman, not that many years older than herself, with neat brown hair and charming dimples in her cheeks.

"I'm Syma," she started, "I live up in the mountains with my man, Verrin. We have a son who is five years old now. We want to have more children, but I haven't been able to conceive another. I've heard you can help me."

Fallea said nothing, but continued to look steadily at her visitor. Sonea found herself becoming more nervous under Fallea's scrutiny. After a few moments, the wise woman took hold of Sonea's hand and turning it over, stared at the palm, her fingers tracing some of the lines. Then she placed her other hand against Sonea's temple and stood very still, as she closed her eyes.

Sonea almost didn't dare to breathe. She was conscious of something which crawled across her skin, rather like a feather might feel and she struggled to prevent herself from jerking from under Fallea's touch.

Fallea opened her eyes, "You are touched by magic," she said. "Who has done this to you?"

"Are you a magician?" Sonea asked, her voice louder than she wished.

The wise woman gave a sweet tinkling laugh, "No. I have some skill but I am not a robed one." Her expression grew serious, "But I can recognise magic when I see it and you have been touched by very strong wild magic. Who did this to you?"

Sonea didn't know what to say. Her own magic was tightly shielded so Fallea shouldn't be able to sense it, therefore it must be the Ichani magic which she could detect. How could she explain that?

"I don't understand," she said, allowing puzzlement to creep across her face, "My man and me, we have nothing to do with magic. We live alone with our servant and our boy. How could this happen? We see no one except when we come down to the market." She allowed alarm to show in her expression, "Is it here, the magic? Has someone in the village used magic?"

"There is no one here with magic," Fallea said firmly. "Let us consider other things. Does your man want another child?"

"Yes."

"And do you try often?"

Under Fallea's cool scrutiny, Sonea felt her face flush with colour. "Yes, we try often," she said faintly.

A smile crossed Fallea's face, "You love your man and he loves you?"

A memory of last night's passionate lovemaking flashed across her inner eye as she looked over to the wise woman and replied, "Yes, very much. We love each other very much."

Fallea nodded, "Good, good. That is very important. Give me your hand again."

Again, Sonea felt the feather-like tingling sensation creep across her skin. Fallea certainly had some sort of skill, almost like magic, but she could tell it wasn't. She remembered one of her lessons which talked about 'hedge magic' in the most disparaging of terms. As far as she could remember, it was some sort of ability gained from using certain herbs. Perhaps this is what Fallea had.

Fallea stood up and went through a door at the back of the room. She returned a few minutes later holding a small bottle, filled with dark liquid. She handed it to Sonea, "Here, try this. Take three drops in some water just before you go to bed with your man. Come back and see me when the bottle is empty."

"This will make me conceive?" Sonea couldn't believe it would be that simple.

"I won't lie to you," Fallea replied, "The wild magic I sense around you may be too strong and my potion may not succeed. But we must start with this. If you fail to become pregnant, then there are other things, more difficult things, which I can try. They are costly though."

Sonea thanked Fallea and left, hiding the bottle at the bottom of her pouch. As she walked back to the market, she mulled over what the wise woman had said. She knew that most magicians dismissed such people as crooks and charlatans and she herself had some misgivings about someone who wasn't a trained Healer, yet Fallea had sensed the Ichani magic. There was no reason for her to talk about magic; if she were simply inventing details to persuade her customers she could cure them, there were many other things she could have said. _But_, a small persistent voice in her mind said quietly, _Magic is something country people know little about. What better thing to invent as a reason for someone's illness?_

Sonea shrugged. She would try the potion; there was nothing to lose. She doubted it would harm her; any way her Healing skill could take care of that, and it may work, especially if Fallea's reputation for successful cures was fully deserved. She smiled; she was hungry and was looking forward to a mid-day meal at the inn and later, a long night with Akkarin in the inn's most comfortable and largest bed. _Who knows_, she thought, _I may become pregnant tonight!_


	7. An Unexpected Visitor

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**An Unexpected Visitor**

It was a cheerful party which made its way back to their mountain top farm. Their packhorse was laden with supplies so there was much to look forward to. Justen was particularly happy with his gift, a brightly coloured book filled with illustrations of plants and animals. As far as Sonea was concerned, the past two nights spent at the inn had been exceptionally pleasurable. She had taken the three drops in water as instructed just before going to bed each night. The mixture was bitter and very unpleasant to drink, but the effects were astonishing.

Whether it was the mixture itself, or what it symbolised, she didn't know. All she knew was that she was filled with an overwhelming desire for her lover, which carried her to new heights of passion. To say that both of them had little sleep was no exaggeration, yet they were reluctant to leave their bed, in fact on the second morning, they lingered well past breakfast time and Akkarin was nearly late for a meeting with one of his smuggler contacts.

Later that day, Akkarin had slipped a small package into her hand with instructions to open it immediately. Inside, she was delighted to find a thin gold chain, with a small jewelled pendant in the shape of a bird, with its wings outstretched. Its eyes were tiny fire gems and its wings were covered in sparkling white stones. It was the prettiest thing she had seen for years.

"Th…thank you, Akkarin," she stuttered in pleasant surprise, "It's beautiful!"

He fastened it around her neck and she felt its cool lightness brush against her skin. She craned her neck downwards to catch a glimpse of it as it lay against her breasts. She turned towards him and, flinging her arms around him, stood on tiptoe to kiss him all the while murmuring her delight. He seemed almost embarrassed by her reaction and she was amused to see his heightened colour.

Now, as they neared their home, she couldn't resist frequently putting up a hand to touch the bird, almost as if it were a lucky charm. _And perhaps it is_, she thought_. Perhaps I am with child already. _She regretted that she had not thought to buy Akkarin a gift, but up to now, exchanging gifts had not been the usual practice between them. _But it will be from now on, _she vowed.

Money, which had been rather tight in their early years, was not a problem nowadays. Akkarin's smuggling operation brought in a steady income, so they were able to buy a variety of things to make life at the farm more and more comfortable. There were a dozen birds in an enclosure to provide fresh eggs, a small orchard where they grew the pear-like mountain fruit which was not only good to eat, but made a very acceptable jam into the bargain, and their vegetable garden was well stocked with plants each spring. Inside, they had a lot more furniture, some thick rugs and even one or two ornaments, which had caught her eye on visits to the market. Their supply of books was also steadily increasing. Akkarin had managed to find a bookseller who would provide books to order with no questions asked, providing the buyer was willing to pay a high price. As a result, Akkarin was able to obtain copies of many of the books he had been forced to abandon in the Residence, and although he could never hope to replicate his extensive library in its entirety, he was able to acquire many of the more important texts.

After supper that evening, Sonea sat by the fire, working on a new shirt for Justen, while Akkarin was reading his latest acquisition. She had enjoyed her time in Galia, but it had reawakened her desire to visit further afield.

"Akkarin, do you think we could visit Imardin one of these days?" she asked, breaking the companionable silence.

He looked up quickly, staring at her with an intense gaze, "Why?"

She was surprised at little at the sharpness of his tone and it flustered her, "Oh, I don't know," she began, "But it would be nice to go to a bigger place than Galia. The market is always the same, with the same people selling the same products. I just thought for a change, we could go somewhere else. Justen is growing up and he would love to see more of the world, I'm sure."

"I don't think it would be a good idea, Sonea," he said firmly. "Too many Guild magicians and too close to the Guild, we could be recognised."

She couldn't prevent a laugh, Akkarin looked nothing like the cold and distant High Lord. He wore a small clipped beard around his mouth and chin, his hair was pulled back, loosely held in place by a leather thong, and he wore tight fitting leather trousers and a leather jerkin. There was a steel dagger hanging from the right hand side of his belt and he normally wore a plain sword at his left hip. He didn't look like a magician, he looked exactly what he was, a rather dangerous smuggler!

"I don't think people would recognise you now," she said with a grin, "They probably would be too wary to even look at you closely."

"Be that as it may," he replied, "We will not travel to Imardin."

She could tell by his tone that he would not entertain discussion or argument and mentally shrugged. She had learned over the years there was more than one way of getting Akkarin to do what she wanted. It would just take a lot longer, that was all.

Over the next few weeks, she continued to take Fallea's mixture and her nights continued to be filled with intense pleasure. She hadn't used much of the mixture yet, and at three drops a night, it would take a long time before she needed to see the wise woman again. It wasn't that she needed the mixture to feel desire for Akkarin, she told herself, it was just that the potion intensified her desires in some way and she rather enjoyed that! Her only disappointment was her continued failure to become pregnant.

The Eye of Heaven was at its fullest when Akkarin left the farm for a few days. He was often away at this time during a month because it was the best time to smuggle goods over the treacherous trails, which criss-crossed the mountains. At first, she used to worry that he might meet with an accident, but after so many years without incident, she didn't worry quite so much. She missed him, of course, especially in her bed. She had often asked to take part in one of his journeys, but he always refused to let her get involved.

"There's Justen to consider," he'd said and she had no counter argument to make to that.

The day after Akkarin left, she spent the morning working in the vegetable garden. She could have used magic to rid the plants of the weeds, which grew around them, but somehow, that felt like cheating. She remembered how shocked she had been during her first years in the Guild when she saw magicians use magic for the most simple of tasks. So she prided herself on doing things the hard way, and weeded by hand. There was a degree of satisfaction in looking at the neat weed-free rows afterwards, despite the necessity for Healing her aching back.

After their mid-day meal, Justen went off to brush his pony. He took his job of caring for his mount very seriously and would spend hours brushing until its coat gleamed. Sonea took a book she was studying and went to sit outside in the sun. It was warm, but not unpleasantly so. The long cold winters made her appreciate the sun when it appeared and she was always ready to take every advantage of it.

She had been reading for about an hour, when she heard the distant sound of a horse. Looking up she could see a horse and rider just entering their valley. At first she thought it was Akkarin, but this rider was taking things slowly, not galloping up with a flourish, which was Akkarin's usual pattern. She put the book down and stood up, a hand shading her eyes, but the bright light prevented her from identifying the rider.

"Takan," she called, "Someone's coming. Get Justen and keep him in the house."

They never had visitors. Their farm was not on a regularly used trail and Akkarin had been careful to meet his smuggler associates in places well away from where they lived. In all the years she had been living there, she couldn't remember a stranger coming into the valley. She continued to watch as the horse and rider came nearer. She could see now it was a man, dressed in dark clothes, with the hood of his cloak pulled up over his head, shading his eyes from the bright sunlight.

She used magic to search out something about her visitor and was surprised to catch the hint of a shield. _Magician! _She activated her own shield and waited for the man to reach her.

He stopped a short distance away and dismounted, tying the reins to a nearby bush. Then he pushed the hood away from his face and started to walk towards her slowly, his arms held slightly away from his body, his hands open, showing he had no weapons. _But there's still his magic_, she thought, cursing the bright sunlight shining in her eyes preventing her having a clear view of his features. Then, suddenly, she knew him.

"Lorlen!" she cried, starting towards him, "Lorlen, what are you doing here?"

"Sonea!" he shouted cheerfully and moved quickly to meet her, grabbing her in his arms and swinging her around, "Thank the Eye!"

He set her down and smiled at her, his clear green eyes twinkling at her surprise. She stared at him, trying to work out just how he had found their hideaway. She was conscious that Takan had appeared behind her and she turned to reassure him their visitor was a friend.

"Come inside," she said, "You must be hungry and thirsty."

She led the way into their main room, indicating a chair by the fire. When they were settled with refreshments thoughtfully provided by Takan, Sonea asked the question, which had been burning on her lips since she first recognised Lorlen.

"How did you find us?"

He smiled knowingly and reached in the pouch at his side. He drew out his hand and she saw, hanging from it, a long silky black lock of hair with a knot in the middle.

"Oh!" she cried, "The Guild kept it!"

"Vinara kept it," he corrected her, "She has everything you were wearing or carrying when the Guild caught you. No one ever asked her for it and she put it away, as insurance, perhaps. It is obvious this is a lock of Akkarin's hair. There is an old spell which allows a magician to trace the owner from such a thing. It took us a while to track down the book where the spell was described, then after that, it was simply a question of following the trail. I left Imardin two weeks ago with strict instructions to find Akkarin."

Lorlen paused to swallow more tea and was persuaded to sample some of Takan's savoury tartlets while Sonea digested this news. Her last meetings with Vinara had been decidedly unpleasant and she couldn't think why the Healers' Leader had changed her mind about Akkarin. She held out her hand and Lorlen laid the lock across her palm. She remembered stealing it after she had cut Akkarin's hair just before they returned from exile. Then, she'd felt that the hair was probably the only part of Akkarin that she would ever possess. How things had changed since then. She raised the hair to her face, rubbing her cheek against it. She was sure there was still a faint scent clinging to it. She breathed deeply, remembering the first time she had kissed him and how he had reacted.

Lorlen watching her, saw her face break into a smile as she closed her eyes, and wondered what she was thinking.

She looked up, "Why?"

He pretended to misunderstand her, "Why what?"

"Why did Vinara send you to look for us?"

Lorlen put down his cup and stared directly at her, "The Guild is in trouble and there are some who think Akkarin is the only one who can deal with it."


	8. A Healer's Help

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**A Healer's Help**

Sonea said nothing for a moment; she was too taken aback. _The Guild in trouble? Akkarin's the only one who can deal with it? _It was difficult to take it all in. It seemed so long since she had worn robes and gone about her business in the hallowed surroundings of the Guild. At this distance, sometimes it felt more like a dream than the reality of what had been her life for several years.

"But they think Akkarin is dead," she said, puzzled by what Lorlen had said. "There were notices posted everywhere saying he had been killed in an attack on the Guild." She remembered her earlier fury that the notices had given the impression Akkarin had been attacking, not defending the Guild and the pain those notices had caused her.

"Yes, that was the story put about by Balkan. We were all told he was dead, and his name was not to be mentioned, but there were some who didn't believe it, although they said nothing at the time, but lately, what with all the problems, there have been whisperings and they are growing louder. Some of the Higher Magicians feel they can't continue to ignore them."

"What problems?" she asked sharply.

Lorlen looked uncomfortable, "I think I'd rather wait until Akkarin is present, it will save me having to go though things twice. Where is he by the way? The trail I've been following doesn't actually stop here, it goes on over the ridge, presumably into Sachaka. I was steeling myself to cross the border, when I saw the farm. I thought I'd ask if I could stop here for the night. I wasn't expecting to find this was where you were actually living. It was a great surprise!"

Sonea had wondered how the spell for tracing the hair's owner would have led Lorlen to a place where he wasn't. She smiled inwardly. Lorlen was in for much more of a surprise when Akkarin did come home.

"Oh, he's away on some business," she said vaguely. "I'm expecting him soon. You're welcome to wait here until he comes."

"I shan't mind that! The trails around here are difficult to find, even when there is a spell providing a route to follow. A day or so of sitting around sounds very attractive to someone who is not used to so many days in the saddle."

Sonea left Lorlen by the fire while she went to make arrangements for his accommodation. There were only two bedchambers, so she asked Takan to move Justen's things into her room so that Lorlen could sleep in the boy's room. Justen had watched as she spoke with Takan, then tugged at her hand.

"He's an old friend," she said, easily interpreting the look on Justen's face. "He is going to stay until Father returns as he wants to speak with him."

Justen nodded and went back to looking at his book while Sonea and Takan finalised the arrangements. She had been sure he would want to meet the stranger, but the child had shown no further interest. Part of her was relieved. Lorlen needed to understand about Justen before meeting him. Although she didn't want to acknowledge it, part of her hoped that the Healer might be able to cure her son.

Lorlen looked up from contemplation of his teacup as she re-entered the room. He smiled at her cheerfully, "You're looking well, Sonea," he said warmly, "The mountain air seems to agree with you. And your child? There were no problems with the birth?"

"No, no problems with the birth. Our son was born during our first mid-winter here. He was a healthy baby, in fact he is a healthy child, but for one thing..." she broke off wondering just how to put into words what was the matter with Justen.

"But…?" Lorlen asked gently.

"Justen is a very healthy little boy, but he can't utter a sound. He doesn't speak nor make any noise at all." She could feel tears pricking at her eyes and blinked quickly. "He can't hear anything either."

She felt Lorlen's gentle hand on her arm and looked up. He smiled down at her, "Shall I see if I can do anything?"

"We have both tried," she replied. "There was nothing we could do."

"I am a Healer, Sonea. There are things I've mastered which you have not. Let me try?"

"Justen knows nothing of magic," she said. "He has magic of his own and we will begin to teach him when he is older. But as he's not yet six years old yet, we haven't told him he has a special ability or anything about magic at all."

If Lorlen was surprised about that, he hid it well, "I will just have a look at him, no magic he could see will be involved, I promise."

The sympathy in Lorlen's tone pierced the wall she had built around her emotions regarding the boy, and she felt everything she'd held back for years come pouring out all at once like water through a hole in a dam. She told him about Justen, how hard she and Akkarin had tried to find a cure for him and the pain of watching her son teach himself to manage in a world without sound. Lorlen asked few questions and seemed content to let her speak until she ran out of words. If she were honest, it was a tremendous relief to talk about the things which worried her. She had so much to hide from Akkarin, that she never felt comfortable discussing how she felt about what had happened. Equally, there was so much she couldn't reveal to Fallea. But with Lorlen, it was different.

Lorlen was sympathetic and kind. He didn't judge her or comment on the path she had taken, the choices she had made or the things she had felt impelled to do. He listened carefully, only speaking occasionally to clarify things, until she finished. Then he took her hand in both of his and squeezed it.

"Oh, Sonea," he said, "What a lot of things you've had to put up with."

And just like that, it was if a great weight had been lifted from her. Lorlen would make things right, she just knew it.

"When I visited the wise woman, she said I was touched by magic. It wasn't my magic she sensed, it was something else. Can you feel it Lorlen? Can you do something to take it away?"

The Healer kept hold of her hand and looked deeply into her eyes for a moment, before closing his own. She waited patiently for him to complete his examination. There were no sensations as she had experienced with Fallea, no sense that a magician was at work, just a sort of peacefulness.

"I can see nothing," he said after a time, "There doesn't seem to be any magic around you except your own. You are a healthy woman, Sonea and there is nothing I can detect which could prevent you from having more children and certainly no kind of spell or foreign magic is involved."

She frowned. Fallea had been so sure about the magic. _Why would she say that if there were none? _But she knew Lorlen and trusted him. There was no reason for him to lie about her condition. Fallea must have been mistaken. Relief flooded through her, the only thing she'd needed after all was a talk with a proper Healer.

She murmured her thanks and encouraged her unexpected visitor to take more tea and try more of Takan's little cakes and tarts. They began to speak of other things, light-hearted things, and shared things from the past. They didn't touch on more disturbing matters such as why Lorlen had been sent to find them, or what was happening in Imardin.

Later, Sonea brought Justen to meet their guest. Lorlen had taken the boy's hand for a moment and made sure he looked directly at him while he spoke, but there were no signs that magic was at work. Justen accepted the stranger with a calm air of assurance and listened carefully as Lorlen described some of the incidents that had occurred on his journey to their farm.

They were sitting down to supper, when Sonea heard from Akkarin.

_Syma? Home soon_.

It was a typical message, brief and with a prearranged code, just in case there were other magicians nearby. It meant he would be arriving in less than an hour. She responded with her own coded message telling him they had a visitor who was not a danger.

"Akkarin will be home shortly," she said, in case Lorlen hadn't heard the message.

"I heard the message, but faintly," he replied, "You are wise to keep things brief. Balkan has a team of Warriors listening out for any mental communications which might lead to your location."

"So Balkan accepts we are not dead?"

"I would not say he accepts it, but he is careful. He listens just in case…..I'm surprised you don't have a blood gem link. That way, no one could possibly hear your conversations."

Sonea sighed, "I've asked several times, but Akkarin won't agree. He won't explain why," she said ruefully. "I keep telling him it would be the answer, but it's no use!"

Lorlen nodded, "Having had such a link, I can see why he might refuse you."

"Do you still have the gem?"

"No, once I revealed its existence, Balkan had it destroyed."

Sonea felt there was more to it than that, but Lorlen was reluctant to say more and she respected his judgement. Perhaps he would be more forthcoming when Akkarin arrived. They continued with their meal but it wasn't long before Sonea heard hoof beats outside.

When the door opened, she and Lorlen turned as one to regard the newcomer. Sonea took a sneaky glance at Lorlen and was amused to notice the surprise on his face. The man standing in the doorway no longer resembled the Healer's boyhood friend nor even a magician. Instead, Lorlen was confronted by the well-armed figure of a mountain smuggler, dressed in dark leather trousers with knee-high boots, a leather jerkin over a linen shirt, and with his cloak carelessly carried over one arm. He paused on the step and looked at them both for a moment, his face impassive, before stepping down into the room. He slung his cloak over a chair, closely followed by his hat and gloves. He carefully unbuckled his sword belt and laid the weapon down. Keeping the steel dagger at his hip, he moved towards them with that easy Warrior's stride Sonea always found so attractive.

"Well," he said calmly, "Welcome to our humble retreat. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Lord Lorlen?"


	9. Lorlen's Task

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Lorlen's Task**

Perhaps it was the half-suppressed snort of exasperation from Sonea which changed his mind, for Akkarin suddenly smiled, that warm, open smile he remembered from their shared boyhood and came across to him, holding out a hand. Lorlen took it in the old-fashioned clasp they'd always used and smiled back at him, "Hello old friend," he said warmly, "I can't tell you how good it is to see you again."

He sensed, rather than heard, Sonea give a quick sigh of relief, before going to fetch a bottle of wine from a nearby side table. She opened it and, taking three large glasses, brought it back to the table and began to pour.

Lorlen watched Akkarin greet his son, lifting him into the air and swinging him around, much to the child's silent delight. _I never thought to see my old friend do that_, he thought, _Or even have a woman, let alone a child, waiting for him at home!_ And that thought for the first time brought home to him how difficult a task he had before him. Akkarin didn't seem to be a man thirsting to take up a position of power again. How could he hope to persuade him to return to the Guild, let alone deal with its problems?

When Vinara had revealed the existence of the lock of Akkarin's hair and suggested he use it to trace his whereabouts, she made it all sound so easy.

"We all know Akkarin and just how ambitious he is. He revelled in the power he had as High Lord, how could he resist a call from the Higher Magicians to return? You, Lorlen, are the ideal person to take on this mission. You were his only real friend, he'll listen to you."

After an initial show of resistance, Lorlen had allowed himself to be persuaded that Akkarin would relish a return to the politics of the Guild, but now, observing the former High Lord eating a simple supper with his woman and child, he had strong doubts. There was an easiness in his manner which had never been present before. He chatted throughout the meal, recounting humorous stories from his time away which had Sonea smiling widely. The boy followed the conversations closely and joined in with his silent laughter. It was a picture of a typical happy family and one which Lorlen had not really expected to see.

They had agreed to postpone discussion of what had brought Lorlen to this remote spot until after supper was eaten and Justen put to bed. Once everything had been cleared away and Justen settled for the night, the three magicians sat down in the comfortable chairs, each with a glass of wine to hand. For a moment there was an uneasy silence as Lorlen thought about what he was going to say, but before he could start, he was interrupted.

"Perhaps, first, you should explain how you found us," Akkarin said, "I thought I had taken every precaution against being discovered. You must tell me where I went wrong."

"I'm afraid that's my fault!" Sonea said hastily before Lorlen had time to answer.

Akkarin turned to stare at her and Lorlen saw the colour rise in her cheeks, "You remember when I cut your hair," she said, "Just before we crossed back in to Kyralia? I…I always loved your hair and it was such a wrench to cut it off, I…err… kept a piece of it."

There was a pause as Akkarin digested this statement, then he spoke, astonishment plain in his tone, "You kept a piece of my hair? Whatever made you do such a thing?"

The colour fled, leaving her face paler than usual as she said quietly, "I thought it was the only part of you I would ever have for myself. I kept it in my pouch and when I was captured by the Guild, they took everything away from me, including the hair."

Akkarin continued to stare at her as she went on, "I didn't think they would know what it was at first. Then later, I realised they would be able to work it out, but by then I hoped they would have discarded it along with my clothes. It never occurred to me that Vinara would keep everything."

"Vinara gave it to you?" Akkarin asked Lorlen.

"Yes, she told me she had all of Sonea's things. No one had ever asked for them or examined them, but she decided to keep them all, as she knew they would be useful one day. She knew it was your hair straight away, but said nothing to Balkan."

Lorlen noticed that Sonea was looking closely at Akkarin, whose face had remained expressionless. He said softly, "I'll talk to you later about the subject of my hair."

To Lorlen's surprise, a faint colour crept back in to Sonea's face and she smiled a little, but didn't give any response.

_I wish I could work out what sort of relationship these two have,_ he thought. _Just when I think I've got it straight, they do something, which changes everything!_

"So, you had my hair?" Akkarin's voice recalled him to the present.

"Yes, Vinara remembered there was a spell which could be used to find the owner. She couldn't remember the details, so we started to search for it. She simply told the Librarian that I was carrying out some research for her, so no one questioned what we were doing. It took a few days, but we found it. We tested it first on something of mine and it worked very well."

"Once it was shown the spell worked, Vinara requested a number of Healers to search for some herbs she required which were hard to find. There were four of us, the other three were sent off for the herbs and I was sent to follow the trail. No one else in the Guild, apart from Vinara knows what I'm actually doing."

Akkarin drained the rest of his wine and poured more. As far as Lorlen could tell, he didn't appear curious about what had caused Vinara to want to find him. but then he had always been good at hiding his feelings. _I must let things take their course_, _and be careful how I put my arguments._

"What did Vinara tell you to do once you found me?"

"There are things I have to tell you about what has been happening since you..err…'died'." Lorlen paused for a moment, then went on, "The Guild is not a happy place these days. Balkan was a respected Head of the Warriors, a man of authority within his Discipline, so it seemed fitting that he become High Lord, but the fact of the matter is he cannot cope with trying to run the Guild, deal with the King and control the use of magic in the Allied Lands. Things are falling apart."

He stopped speaking, and looked closely at Akkarin. _Was there a gleam of interest in those eyes? _It was impossible to tell. Even as Administrator to Akkarin's High Lord, working very closely together, Lorlen had found difficult to tell what was going on behind that calm and distant gaze, and time had not made that process any easier. He still had no idea what the former High Lord was thinking – about anything!

Akkarin continued to sip his wine. Sonea remained silent, her eyes flicking between the other two, but Lorlen sensed her growing excitement. _Did Sonea want him to return? _Lorlen considered that question. She had always been a feisty novice, with definite views on what she, and on occasions, others, should do. _How had she taken to this remote mountain life? Did she long for the Guild life she'd once had?_

"This is all very interesting. Lorlen, but what's it to do with me?" Akkarin's cool voice interrupted his thoughts. "You were, I believe, instrumental in the Hearing which expelled me from the Guild and Kyralia. You'll remember the Guild washed its hands of me. It certainly found it inconvenient that I survived the wastelands and couldn't wait to announce my death. The Guild will not follow me again."

"Perhaps I haven't explained things as well as I should have. The Guild has split into factions. Balkan keeps some sort of control by using the Warriors as a force to watch magicians, reporting any behaviour which they deem to be against what Balkan wants. They have become more a group of spies for the High Lord than an army of Guild defenders. Many magicians are too frightened to speak about what concerns them in case they are reported. Some of the more powerful ones are busy gathering supporters and it's feared that once they have enough, they will try to overthrow the High Lord. Others will try to stop them and only the Eye knows what the Warriors will do. It will be a blood bath."

"That's terrible, Lorlen," Sonea said, "What's the King's position in all of this? Surely he can do something?"

Lorlen smiled humourlessly, "Ah, the King! Merin lacks the proper advice he needs to understand exactly what is happening. He only sees Balkan, who tends to address him as though he were a schoolboy who hasn't completed his homework. Any points the King makes are dismissed as not being appropriate. His other Advisors don't really understand Guild politics and tend to remain silent. However, even Merin has begun to suspect that things are not as well as Balkan maintains."

At the mention of the King, Akkarin at last seemed to show some interest in what was being said. Lorlen remembered that Akkarin had been a close Advisor to Merin, perhaps even closer than their relative positions had warranted. _Perhaps this is the hook I've been searching for._ He tried to use it.

"According to Vinara, the King spoke to her about some of his worries. She had been called to Court to advise the Queen's Healer and the King took the opportunity of speaking with her. He usually only sees Balkan, so it must have been important for him to take the trouble. It was a special request, she said."

"What did the King say to her?" Sonea asked.

Lorlen shuffled a little in his seat, "She didn't say exactly….only that he was worried."

A brief smile crossed Akkarin's features, "Nice try, old friend," he said. "You only have Vinara's word that the King is worried, don't you?"

"I have no reason to doubt Vinara," Lorlen replied stiffly.

Sonea snorted, " You should have heard the way she spoke to me! There was no warmth in her conversations with me, no Healer's compassion for someone who was injured, she spoke to me as if I were something nasty stuck on the sole of her boot. I can't believe that she has changed or that she wishes to see Akkarin again."

Lorlen sighed, Vinara had warned him of this. "Sonea will have strong feelings about the way I behaved when she was a prisoner, but you mustn't let that stop you from trying to persuade both of them to return." She'd said it not once but several times during their discussions. _But she doesn't know Sonea well or how determined she can be!_

"Why do you think they will be together?" he'd asked.

"The child is obsessed with him," Vinara replied. "All the time she was here, she wouldn't stop asking questions about where he was or, if he were dead, where he was buried. Nothing anyone could say would stop her. And there's the hair – only a woman obsessed with a man would carry a lock of his hair with her constantly. I am sure that wherever Akkarin is, there you will find Sonea."

_Well you were right Vinara on both counts_, he thought. _She is obsessed with him and she dislikes you strongly._

"Circumstances change, Sonea," he replied, "Vinara may have once believed that Akkarin was evil and because you went into exile with him, that you were too. However, it's been several years now, and she's had plenty of time to think things through properly. Whatever she was like immediately after the attack on the Guild, she is not of the same mind now. She wants Akkarin to come back."

Akkarin rose and went to pick up the wine bottle. He refilled each of their glasses before sitting down again. He picked up his own glass and examined its contents, before taking a sip. He looked at Lorlen over the rim of his glass.

"You will convey my regrets to Vinara when you return to Imardin. Before you go, however, I'll thank you to return my hair and anything else of mine which could be used to trace me."

"Akkarin!" Sonea sounded agitated. "What about the Guild? You can't let it fall apart after everything you've sacrificed for it. The Eye knows I have no reason to trust Vinara after the way she behaved, but if she's right, if the Guild disintegrates into warring factions, the Ichani will be able to walk in and take control of it. You can't let it happen."

Akkarin said nothing for a moment and Lorlen wondered if Sonea's words would change his mind, then his hopes were dashed. When Akkarin spoke, his words were bitter.

"Once I may have believed the Guild was worth sacrificing my life for, but not now. I can see no good reason to put my family at risk in order to save the Guild from itself. It made its decision six years ago. It must learn to live with its mistakes."

There seemed nothing more to be said, so after a few more minutes of rather empty conversation, it was decided to retire for the night. Sonea took Lorlen up to his room but instead of leaving him at the door, she went inside with him and closed the door softly behind her.

"I'll try to talk to Akkarin," she said. "I'm sure that deep down, he still has strong feelings about the Guild and what it stands for. Don't give up hope, just yet."

After she'd gone, Lorlen undressed and slipped into bed. He lay awake for some time, thinking about the task he had been set and how impossible it looked at the moment. He had faith in Sonea, though. Against all the odds, she had formed a close relationship with Akkarin. It was obvious she cared for him deeply. There was no way of knowing how far her feelings were reciprocated, yet Akkarin seemed happy enough with his family on their remote mountain top. He was involved in some sort of scheme, that was obvious. Lorlen suspected it was something rather outside the law, but like everything Akkarin set his mind to, it appeared successful.

Perhaps Sonea would be able to persuade Akkarin to return. Lorlen really hoped so. He feared for the future of the Guild and he did agree with Vinara and the others, Akkarin was the only man who could deal with it.


	10. Sonea

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Sonea**

Sonea checked that Justen was sound asleep. This was the first time since he was a baby that he had slept in their room. Luckily it was large enough to accommodate his bed in a corner, carefully screened from the rest of the room by a strategically placed set of shelves. He seemed to view the whole idea as some sort of adventure. They had made a little ceremony of it, Takan bringing the bed, Akkarin the bedding and Sonea making sure he had everything he wanted from his own room, to make him feel at home. He lay, as usual, curled on his side, one hand under his cheek and the other holding a carved figure of a horse Takan had made for him when he was younger.

Satisfied that nothing would disturb him, she made her own preparations, taking off the heavy garments she had worn during the day, and putting on the rather more delicate sleeping garment she had bought at the market on her last visit. She prepared her evening dose of Fallea's potion and swallowed it quickly, putting the bottle back in its hiding place. Akkarin had not yet come up and she felt her heart beat a little faster as she remembered the look on his face when he promised to talk to her about hair.

No matter how many times she told herself that they had been lovers for six years, so things should now be more routine, when it came to thoughts of lovemaking, she still felt her breath quicken and her body tremble, as if it were the first time. It wasn't usually like this for others, she knew that from the time when she lived with her aunt, who along with most of her friends, spent more time complaining about her man, than thinking fondly of him. She didn't think her feelings were entirely due to the potion she was taking either. Even before Fallea, she had felt the same way; there was something about Akkarin which created these feelings in her. If she didn't know any better, she would say it was almost magical!

The door opened quietly and Akkarin came in. She turned towards him and smiled. He had discarded his jerkin so his shirt hung loose over his trousers, its neck lacings open, simply inviting her to slip a hand inside. She didn't yield to that impulse though. She went over to the bed and climbed in, watching under lowered lashes as Akkarin took off his day clothes and put on a pair of loose sleeping trousers, leaving his upper body bare.

He slid in beside her. She reached up and pulled the leather thong from his hair, so that it spilled over his shoulders. It was quite long now, longer even than when he had been High Lord. What she had said downstairs was perfectly true. She loved his hair, the fresh clean smell it always had, the silky feel of it as she thrust her hands into it and tugged gently to bring his face down towards her own, As his mouth covered hers, she heard his amused voice in her head.

_So, you like my hair do you?_

_Oh yes!_

Then she stopped thinking about hair, and simply gave herself up to the demands of her flesh as it responded to his caresses. They knew each other's body so well now, each knowing where to let hands lazily drift, each finding the right spot to place their lips to set flesh quivering, both of them feeding off the intensity of their closeness, limbs entwined and movements coordinated as they slipped into the rhythms of lovemaking.

Afterwards, they lay still, Sonea cradled against Akkarin's chest, his arms around her, while she listened to his heartbeat, slowly returning to normal, echoing her own. _This time, let there be a child._ The routine plea, hidden deep within her mind, as ever the first coherent thought she had in the aftermath of passion.

Sometimes, they simply lay together until they drifted off to sleep, but tonight, Sonea needed to talk. She had promised Lorlen to try and perhaps now would be a good moment. Either he would respond, or retreat behind his cold mask, she had no way of knowing which, but instinctively she felt that 'now' was a magic moment in all senses of the word.

"What do you really think about what Lorlen said?" she asked quietly.

_You want to talk about this now? _His mental voice whispered in her head.

She knew the message underlying the words, which slipped through her mind like a silky mist laden with so much promise. His mind was still focused on lovemaking and much as she wished to join him, her gut instinct was telling her not to be distracted from her self-imposed task.

"He wouldn't have come if things were not bad."

"There's nothing I can do," he said and she could hear the finality in his tone.

"Vinara and the others wouldn't have sent for you if that were true, and you know it! Think about what you were – the youngest High Lord, the strongest and the one with the greatest diplomatic skills. Who better to deal with a disintegrating Guild?"

He laughed softly, "My dear girl, since you discovered the truth about me, you think I can do no wrong."

He fell silent and she turned to look at him. His eyes were closed and there was an expression of deep sadness on his face. She stretched up and kissed the corners of his mouth before covering it with her own. She felt his lips open and the touch of his tongue circling her lips before thrusting deep into her mouth.

_I have done much wrong in my life, despite what you think_. _This whole unhappy cycle started because of my arrogance and self-delusion. If I hadn't gone to Sachaka in the first place, the Ichani would have had no reason to think the Guild did not continue to practise higher magic. The thought that it did had kept them away for hundreds of years. Once they knew from my mind it did not, they started to plan their invasion. It was all my fault._

The anguish in his mental voice opened Sonea's eyes to the burden of guilt he had carried for years. It accounted for his determination to prevent the Ichani from penetrating Imardin by any means possible. It explained his need to defeat them, even if it meant his own death.

She didn't know what words were needed to bring comfort, so she said softly the only words she could, "But you put it right, Akkarin, you put it all right."

"Yes, I had a plan to put it right, even if I were discovered. It was a pleasing picture to contemplate, either my death at the point of saving the Guild which would surely have meant statues in my honour and a magnificent tomb, or my return in triumph, ensuring my place as the greatest High Lord ever. But in the event, neither of these things happened and now the Guild is falling apart. That too, is my fault."

The depth of his bitterness was evident in his words as well as his tone. She wondered if he was afraid; afraid to go back and face the others; afraid that his skills would fail him and he would be powerless to hold things together. The man she loved was no coward, she knew that. But, perhaps the way things had turned out had somehow sapped that self-belief of his which had previously carried him through all the difficulties he'd faced.

She raised herself up in the bed and leant over him, taking his face between her two hands. He watched her, his eyes black and unreadable in the faint light, his face still. She bent and kissed, first one eye, then the other, before pressing her mouth to his.

_I know that you are the only one who stands a chance of preventing disaster, just as you were the only one who could stop the Ichani, _she sent._ You owe it to the Guild to preserve it as a powerful force for good in the Allied Lands. If the Guild falls, the Ichani will have won and all your efforts will have been for nothing._

He moved quickly, rolling over so that she was beneath him. Raising himself on to his elbows, he stared down at her.

"You have never lost faith in me, have you?" he asked softly. "Even when I doubt myself, there you are, ready to defend everything I do. You put your whole future in my hands when you chose exile and you have kept faith every day since then despite everything I've said and done to make you change your mind."

It's simple," she murmured, "I love you."

He continued to stare at her intently, saying nothing, just gazing deeply into her eyes. She held her breath and then, it happened.

"I love you too, Sonea," he whispered, "Until now, I didn't know just how much."

She couldn't prevent the smile that threatened to split her face in half, or the tears which filled her eyes. At last, after all the years of longing, he had finally said the three words she'd been waiting for. She flung her arms around him as he thrust into her. Their passion reminded her of that time in Imardin, when Akkarin had been drunk on bol and wine. It was full of urgent need that had to be satisfied hotly and quickly. And like the time before, she experienced heights of pleasure not usually reached.

They were both breathless at the end, hearts pounding loudly in their chests, a sheen of dampness on their skin. Sonea, suddenly remembering their visitor in the bedchamber next door, found it hard to suppress a giggle. _What if he'd heard? What would he think? _Then she giggled again. _He'd think you had a mighty lover and was a very lucky girl!_

_And what makes you giggle? Was it not pleasing? Do you need more practice? _That smoky, sensual tone was back in Akkarin's mental voice, full of suggestiveness and promises of passion to come.

She suppressed an urge to hit him with a pillow and settled instead for the shelter of his arms.

_It was very pleasing. It pleased me so much, I would like to experience that pleasure again and again. _She tried in vain to make her mental voice sound as inviting as his.

Later, just before they drifted off to sleep, she asked him what he would say to Lorlen.

"I'll have a talk with him, to see if I can find out more about who is behind this…err…invitation."

As she opened her mouth to say something, he forestalled her, "I'm not promising anything, Sonea. I still think there's nothing I can do, but I will speak with him.

And with that, she had to be content.


	11. Persuasion

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Persuasion**

Lorlen watched the rider guide his horse along the valley floor at a gallop. Horse and rider moved, it seemed, without effort and even if he didn't know who was coming up to the farm, he would have recognised Akkarin from the perfect way he melded with his horse. He remembered ruefully the hours of practice he'd put in trying to emulate his friend's riding style, without success. He would never be even half the rider his old friend was. The horse drew to a stop nearby and its rider dismounted.

_I'll stable the horse, then we'll talk_.

The mental voice was soft, almost too soft to hear clearly and Lorlen supposed that was deliberate in case there were other magicians nearby. Akkarin could not be faulted for his caution. If he hadn't been given the hair, Lorlen knew he never would have been able to find him. Those in the Guild who believed Akkarin was still alive, and were willing to talk about it – there weren't many – supposed he had left Kyralia and was living in one of the larger cities in Elyne or a similar country, a place where he would be able to obtain every comfort. No one would have looked for him in a remote building in the middle of nowhere, living the life of a farmer, content to visit a country market once in a while.

He watched as Akkarin emerged from the stables and walked towards him. He had lost none of his Warrior's purposeful stride over the years. Lorlen had to admit that he looked well and settled, a man pleased with his life. Sonea had explained about the smuggling he was engaged in. Lorlen wasn't surprised that he had set up his own network. Akkarin liked to be in control, even if it were only of a few men and a relatively small network. He had a talent for moulding disparate people into a single force. That was what was so desperately needed now, at the Guild.

"We'll sit outside," Akkarin said as he joined Lorlen. "I've asked Takan to bring refreshments."

He led the way to where there was a long wooden bench, set against the wall of the house, which caught the early morning sunlight. He sat down, his long legs stretched out in front of him, his legs crossed at the ankles, completely at ease. Lorlen sat next to him and couldn't help feeling awkward. He had never been as slim and supple as his friend, even when they had been young novices together. If truth be told, he had always been envious of his friend's good looks and athletic physique, but as he told himself so often, he couldn't change his own stocky figure, and would have to learn to live with it. He felt a strange sense of completeness as he sat in the sun; it had been so many years since he had been easy in the company of his oldest friend. Regret for the differences of the past struck him sharply. _I should have trusted him_.

Takan emerged carrying a tray. He unloaded a plate of savoury tarts and a large jug of hot tea along with two mugs. He poured each of them a generous mugful of tea, then left them alone. Lorlen knew that Sonea had gone out looking for some wild fruit and had taken Justen with her, so they wouldn't be disturbed. He glanced at Akkarin, but of course, his face gave nothing away.

"Have you thought over what I said?" he asked.

"Yes, I have. I am flattered that some people feel I am the only one who can deal with the Guild, but they are several years too late. Time has moved on. I have moved on. The Guild made its choice when it expelled me. None spoke up for me then and many would have voted for my death without a second thought."

"There are many who realise that the Guild made a terrible mistake, Akkarin."

Akkarin poured more tea and took a piece of tart, "You say the same words, Lorlen – some, many, a group of magicians – give me more precise information. Who are Vinara's co-conspirators?" He smiled as he saw Lorlen's instinctive reaction to his description. "Yes, conspirators, what else did you think they were, Lorlen?"

_It is strange,_ he thought, _I never thought of them as conspirators, yet Akkarin's right, they are! _He frowned, and considered his words for a moment, before answering, "Vinara, as you might expect, was not forthcoming with much detail. The impression she gave me was that there were several Higher Magicians who actively support an attempt to find you. She also believes that if more realised you were still alive, that number would grow. You can't imagine what the Guild is like these days. It is riven with factions who spy on each other, create arguments and dissention in order to pick away at people they consider rivals, either trying to destroy them or neutralise their potential. They jockey for position, each grouping trying to gain Balkan's ear in order to get a little more influence. In the middle of it all is a High Lord who cannot see a clear way forward and resorts to using his Warriors to keep order in the only way he knows, by threats."

Lorlen stopped speaking and glanced at his companion. It seemed to him that there was something lurking behind that dark gaze. Perhaps Akkarin was more interested than he let on. _He can't have changed so much, surely there is still an ambitious man hidden inside the farmer._

"Unless something is done, Akkarin, the Guild will become less and less concerned with its proper role as the guardian and protector of magic in the Allied Lands, and more obsessed with in-fighting among the various factions that are growing in number almost daily. If you care at all about the organisation you devoted most of your life to serving, you will come back."

Akkarin remained silent and Lorlen could no longer distinguish any expression at all in his eyes. _I have lost_, he thought, _Akkarin is too settled here…._

"Do I care about the Guild?" Akkarin mused as it to himself, "I suppose that once I did, very much indeed. There was nothing I wouldn't have done to protect it. But now….." His voice died away. Lorlen was afraid to speak in case he interrupted whatever Akkarin was going to say next.

"…But now, there are too many obstacles to overcome and perhaps I've lost my taste for difficult tasks." He turned to look directly at Lorlen, "It all seems too far away, and to be happening to people I no longer have any connection with, so perhaps all that's left is for you to tell Vinara that I cannot come back."

"What does Sonea think?" Lorlen hoped his desperation didn't show in his voice.

Akkarin, who had been preparing to stand up suddenly stilled, "Sonea?" he asked, "Why do you ask about Sonea?"

"It seems to me that she cares very much about what you do. You remember what she said at your Hearing, about keeping you alive so that when the Guild came to its senses and needed you, you will still be able to help. You can't have forgotten that, surely?"

"No," he replied shortly, "I haven't forgotten, but that was about something quite different. I stayed alive. I came back. I enabled the Guild to survive. What happened after that is not my responsibility."

"Whether it knows it or not, the Guild needs you now, Akkarin. Perhaps it needs you more than it did when the Ichani attacked. I don't understand why you can't see that!" He paused, then went on, "I think Sonea sees that, very clearly."

"Sonea has always seen things clearly, it's one of her great strengths." There was something in Akkarin's voice Lorlen hadn't heard before, and he glanced at his friend. Akkarin was contemplating his hands, staring at them as if he hadn't seen them before.

Lorlen wondered anew exactly what Akkarin felt about his former Novice. They seemed, on the surface, a typical couple, yet he knew from Sonea's outpourings that things were not typical at all, not with so many secrets, so many uncertainties. It was clear from what she said, and also from what she didn't say, that Sonea's love for her former Guardian was paramount in her life. But there was no way of telling how deep his feelings for her were. He decided to try to find out.

"If Sonea added her voice to mine, would it make any difference to your decision?" he asked.

A brief crooked smile crossed Akkarin's lips, "She has already expressed her view on what I should do, but I fear she had an unrealistic idea of what I can achieve." He smiled again, "She lets her feelings for me blind her to what is possible and what is not."

There was a warmth and fondness in his tone, which told Lorlen much. There was no doubt that he loved his woman, but whether as deeply as she loved him, it was hard to tell. _But I must try to use it_, he thought.

"Sonea would return with you to the Guild, wouldn't she? There is still no one in the Guild as powerful as the two of you. She would watch your back. You would be safe."

"Lorlen, it's not a question of 'safe' it's a question of whether or not magicians would follow my lead. I can't simply reappear several years after being expelled and exiled and expect to be received with open arms and allowed to impose my will again as if I were still High Lord! And what of Balkan? He is not going to allow another to encroach on his power and position or does Vinara think I am going to depose him?"

There was one last card in Lorlen's armoury, which Vinara had told him to keep until it was clear nothing else would do. He didn't know why she had insisted that he not use it right from the beginning, but sometimes her motives seemed beyond his understanding. However, it seemed to him that now was the time. Akkarin had correctly identified the main problem which arose from his return. There was only one thing that could safeguard his position, at least initially. He cleared his throat.

"When Vinara had her discussion with the King, she told him that she believed you were alive. The King was, as you would expect, rather surprised. Balkan had been very clear right from the beginning that you were gone and his strong and repeated declarations of your death convinced Merin. Vinara told him of a plan to search for you. The King said that if you were found, he insisted on talking to you before any action was taken with regard to the Guild's internal politics. I'm sure the King will follow your advice, he has always done so before. So you see, if you decide to return to the Guild, you will have the King's protection for any action that you take."

"The King's protection? I see," Akkarin looked thoughtful and Lorlen began to feel the beginnings of hope that his mission would be successful.

Akkarin rose to his feet and began to walk up and down. His face was expressionless, so there was no indication of what was going though his mind. Lorlen knew that the former High Lord and the King had enjoyed a good relationship, with Merin giving his backing to many of the things Akkarin wanted the Guild to achieve. It was obvious that at the Hearing the King had been angry to discover his Guild Advisor had been involved in forbidden magic and, indeed, had been very keen initially that the death penalty be invoked. It had taken a certain amount of effort to convince him that exile would be a better option. But underneath the surface anger, Lorlen had been sure the King was more upset at a sense of betrayal by his Advisor, rather than the actual offence itself.

That view would seem to be borne out by the willingness of Merin to talk to him once Akkarin was found. How far the King's protection would go or how long it would last could not be determined. Merin had a reputation for decisions made on impulse at times. Whether or not he would choose to give Akkarin a free hand in dealing with the problems at the Guild remained to be seen. It was certain, though, that with the King's protection, Balkan could not openly move against Akkarin. Of course, that left other, less visible options but Lorlen had faith in Akkarin's ability to cope with Balkan.

Lorlen became aware that Akkarin had stopped pacing and was standing in front of him. He looked up and saw that he had made his decision.

"I will talk to Merin," Akkarin said, "But that is all. There are no promises of anything else. I will not come to Imardin. If Merin wants to see me, it will have to be somewhere else."

"But surely the King will decide…." Lorlen began.

"I am the one being courted here, the King, Vinara, the 'others' all want me to sort out their problems. It is neither my choice nor my wish to get involved. So, if they want to see me, they will do what I ask."


	12. Doubts

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Doubts**

Sonea had very mixed feelings as she stood and watched Lorlen ride away from their valley. He had stayed for three days and during that time she had found time to talk to him about the things which worried her, particularly her longing to have another child. It had been such a relief to be able to unburden herself to a sympathetic listener. She had even had him look again to see if he could identify the strange magic Fallea said had touched her, but he found nothing. Nor could he discover any reason why she had not become pregnant again.

During her more public conversations with Lorlen, she noticed that Akkarin watched them, without appearing to do so. For a brief moment she had wondered if he were jealous, before dismissing that thought. There was no reason at all for Akkarin to fear that another man would take root in her heart and she thought he knew that perfectly well himself. Perhaps it was Lorlen that he watched.

Before he left, Lorlen handed back the lock of hair to Akkarin, who had looked at it for a moment before tossing it over to her with one of his special smiles.

"This belongs to you," he said, amusement in his tone, "You must take better care of it this time."

She had looked at it, curled in her hand, still with the knot in the middle she'd used to keep the hair together. It was as fresh and clean as the day she had shorn it from Akkarin's head despite having been in her pouch, then stored by Vinara, before being carried in Lorlen's breast pocket. She replaced it carefully in her pouch, silently promising to find some suitable material to wrap it in to keep it safe.

As Lorlen reached the end of the valley, he turned for a moment and waved, before disappearing down the trail. Although she waved back, Akkarin made no effort to do so and she wondered why. They re-entered the house and Akkarin fetched a bottle of wine and two glasses from the side table. They made themselves comfortable and sipped the wine slowly.

"It was good to see Lorlen again," Sonea felt compelled to break the silence which seemed to drag a little.

"As you say," was the reply.

She looked over at Akkarin but could read nothing in his features. She frowned a little. They had been friends for more than 20 years yet it seemed as if Akkarin was no longer concerned with Lorlen, that somehow he had managed to cut himself off from any ties to his time as a Guild magician.

"Do you regret seeing him after all this time?" she asked. She half-regretted the words as soon as she had spoken them, remembering the last time Lorlen had visited them and what had followed.

"I could have managed without meeting him again," Akkarin said, in a neutral tone.

It was obvious to her that there would be no proper discussion of Lorlen and his visit.

Silence fell again and they both retreated into their own thoughts. For Sonea, it was difficult to reconcile her pleasure at seeing Lorlen with the strong feeling she had that Akkarin was disturbed by it. She glanced at him under her lashes. He was staring at the fire, his glass of wine in one hand; the other was clenched in his lap. She remembered what Takan had told her when they were still in Imardin, that it caused Akkarin pain to see Lorlen as it brought back things he tried so very hard to forget.

In many ways, their lives up on the top of the mountains were pleasant enough. There was time to study as well as work and they had each other and their child. Yet Sonea had identified a well of discontent inside her that seemed to be growing little by little every day. She craved the excitement of action, of carrying out some sort of plan, of working with Akkarin in situations which were dangerous, yet at the same time, strangely thrilling. In other words, she missed the uncertainties of fighting the Ichani; of being able to draw on her strength and power as a black magician to defeat equally powerful enemies. She wondered if Akkarin felt the same. She suspected not. He had built up his network of smugglers and seemed to submerge his need for action in the game of outwitting the authorities in both Kyralia and Sachaka. There had been skirmishes, she knew, and each expedition carried a whiff of danger. Perhaps that was enough for him.

"You are very thoughtful, Sonea."

His voice roused her from her thoughts and she looked over at him and smiled, "I was just thinking about life up here on the mountain tops."

He stared at her for a moment, then said, "You think I should do what Vinara asks, don't you?"

_Damn his mind-reading skills!_

"Don't you?" she asked carefully.

"It is not my desire to delve into the Guild's problems once more. I spent too many years dealing with them. Oh, I admit, I enjoyed it at the time and once I thought I could never give it all up, but now, I feel differently. Guild life was so inward-looking all the time, too wrapped up in its own petty affairs. I have made a new life for myself; I am more now than just a magician. I have you and our son, a family I thought I would never have. Why would I want to go back to all the in-fighting Lorlen describes so well? I am afraid….."

His voice died away. She knew he didn't mean a physical fear of death or injury, whatever anyone said about Akkarin, they could never say he was a coward. No, it was more than that and perhaps that was the root of his concern.

"Afraid of what?" she asked when it became obvious he wasn't going to complete his sentence.

"Afraid of being sucked into it all again; afraid that I will begin to crave power once more; afraid of what that will do to me after my struggle to be free of it all."

She could see it clearly now. Akkarin was like a man who had lived for years taking pleasure in drinking to excess. He had weaned himself off it over a long period and now feared being caught once again in its snare. Power and influence were like a potent drug and Akkarin had, for years, been a wielder of much power. She could imagine how that might draw him, however reluctantly, back. But, he had not rejected the invitation outright. There must have been something which had caused him to stop short of complete rejection.

"It's the King, isn't it?" she said suddenly as the answer came to her. "If Lorlen hadn't told you what the King said, you wouldn't have given it a second thought, would you?"

"No, I would not, but I can't help feeling some sort of responsibility towards Merin," he said slowly, "He always relied on me to help him out of some problem or other. I cannot simply ignore him, especially when he has no idea how to cope with the Guild."

"Will you be persuaded?" she asked quietly.

He smiled ruefully, "There's a possibility, but I will not say one way or another until I have spoken with Merin. Personally, I hope to persuade him that I am not the person to take on this task."

The summons, when it came, was sealed inside a small book addressed in Lorlen's sloping hand, to Captain Verrin at the inn in Galia. The inn was a useful address for things purchased in other parts of the country, and Akkarin used it frequently, especially for the books he obtained, so no one thought anything of the small neat package which rested on a shelf waiting for Takan to collect it on market day.

Akkarin was away when Taken returned with the book. Sonea put it on the table and stared at it curiously. It was a thin package, with nothing other than Lorlen's writing to tell her where it came from. She was tempted to open it, but managed to contain herself until Akkarin returned later in the day. She watched as he carefully removed the wrapping and laid it aside. Life in the mountains had taught them not to waste anything.

The book was an old one and judging by the smile which flashed across Akkarin's face, one he had wanted for a long time. He opened it and found the thin white parchment folded into three and sealed with wax.

"Merin's private seal," he explained as he slit it with his dagger and spread open the paper. He glanced at the contents, then passed it to Sonea. It was short and to the point. It said that the King would be spending some time at his hunting lodge near Windrest and would be expecting a visitor one week from today.

She looked up at Akkarin, "I shall go with you. Takan can look after Justen, you know how much he likes having the boy all to himself."

Akkarin allowed a smile to briefly cross his lips, " I suppose if I suggest that you stay here, you will only follow me, and get into all sorts of problems on the way."

She laughed, "You know me too well, but I can be useful. An objective opinion is worth a lot."

"An objective opinion!" It was Akkarin's turn to laugh, "I don't think you've had an objective opinion about me in your entire life!"

She went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, "Please don't leave me behind. I'll go out of my mind with worry not knowing what's going on."

He looked at her steadily for a moment, then smiled, "We left the Guild together, so it's fitting we meet the King together. Besides," he added mischievously, "The Eye only knows what trouble you'd get into if I left you on your own!"

They set off the following day, taking very little, apart from a fresh change of clothing. Akkarin estimated it would take three days of hard riding, or four days at a slower pace to reach the hunting lodge. They had chosen the easier option and had plans to spend the night before their meeting with the King at a suitable inn, so that they would be well rested before what might turn out to be a difficult reunion.

"Have you been to this place before?" Sonea asked curiously, but Akkarin shook his head.

"No, he only purchased the estate a short time before we left the Guild but I suspect it is relatively small. The King likes to get away from the formalities of the Court at times and it's unlikely he would take the Queen or any of his Advisors. That's probably why he suggested it."

The journey passed without incident and they arrived at the inn exactly as planned. It was a small country inn with only a few rooms for guests. It seemed to be a quiet period because the innkeeper was gratifyingly pleased to see them. He ushered them into his best room and promised an excellent supper. He even had a few precious bottles of Anuran Dark, Akkarin's favourite wine, in stock which he arranged to be placed in their room.

The innkeeper was true to his word and later that evening they enjoyed a plentiful meal, although Sonea found herself unable to do full justice to the rich country stew and warm crusty bread. Despite her strong desire to be at the meeting with the King, she felt increasingly nervous of the outcome. Akkarin had been in a subdued mood during the journey, going for long periods without saying much. In some ways it reminded her of their first journey together in the wastelands when she'd felt cut off from her companion and what he was thinking. She didn't like it one bit and hoped it was not an omen.

As they had drawn closer to the King's estate, she became more and more convinced that they were making a terrible mistake, but it was too late to turn back. Now the reunion between the King, his former High Lord and the High Lord's former Novice, was only a few hours away and the bad feeling in Sonea's gut was like a hard, cold lump which cast a huge shadow over her and everything she did.

_What's the matter with me? _she asked herself a thousand times. _I used to be able to make up my mind and stick to it come what may! _She thought about the times during her noviciate when things were hard and how determined she had been that no one would deflect her from her purpose to learn magic and become a qualified magician.

_You only got this way when you fell in love with Akkarin! _her mind said snidely, _That's what loving a man gets you - countless worries and a life full of indecision!_ and she almost laughed aloud at the truth of it.

After their supper and a few glasses of wine, they made good use of the inn's bathhouse, then returned to their room. They had both decided it was important to get a good night's sleep, but in the event, Sonea lay awake in Akkarin's arms, her head on his chest, her arms around him and usually in this position, she fell asleep quickly. But not this night. She kept still, not wishing to disturb her companion, but after a long while, she became aware that he, too, was still awake.

_What is the matter?_ she sent, her mental voice barely above a whisper.

_Go to sleep, Sonea_.

She raised herself so that she could look at him. _I can't and neither, it seems, can you. Tell me what the problem is._

He got up and went over to where the wine bottle sat on a small chest. He poured the rest of it into two glasses and came back to the bed. He mounded up the pillows and sat back against them before patting the space next to him and she scrambled to join him. She took the glass he held out to her, but set it down untasted.

"Why can't you sleep?" she asked, "What concerns you?"

"I've been going over it in my mind," he started, "Trying to think of what sort of things the King may use to try to persuade me. I think it's painfully clear that he wouldn't have risked sending for me if he wasn't serious about my return. That won't be easy to arrange. You heard what Lorlen said about the factions which are developing and you can be sure that a lot of people see themselves as High Lord, and would not be happy at the return of a disgraced one."

She didn't like the way he described himself, but in fairness, a lot of magicians probably thought of him in exactly those terms. She remembered a number of globelights at his Hearing had not been white.

"Perhaps the King knows what he's doing," she said. "After all it's been nearly seven years since our Hearing and who knows how many people now realise you were right all along."

He shook his head, the old crooked smile in evidence, "Oh Sonea, you think people will flock to me, that somehow I'll be able to wrap them round my fingers again. I'm afraid you'll be in for a great disappointment."

"But you've known this from the beginning," she persisted, "There's something else which is bothering you, isn't there?"

All traces of a smile disappeared from his face and it gradually assumed his distant mask. Seeing it, her heart sank. _Surely he's not going to keep things from me again._

But it seemed he was, because he put down his glass and bent to kiss her, his lips warmly enclosing hers, his hands sliding over her shoulders to push her sleeping garment down, freeing her breasts. It wasn't long before they were engaged in the familiar rhythms of lovemaking and she was able to forget her worries for a while. But afterwards, just before sleep claimed her, an unwelcome thought crossed her mind. Had Akkarin used his skill as a lover to divert her attention away from discovering what concerned him?


	13. Merin's Request

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Merin's Request**

The inn was only a about half a day's journey from the King's hunting lodge and because royal etiquette stated that late mornings or mid- afternoons were the proper times to visit royalty so the King's meals were not interrupted, they decided to time their arrival for mid-afternoon. They rose late and had a leisurely breakfast. The innkeeper, still keen to show potential regular customers what kind of service he could offer, provided a range of tempting dishes along with a selection of hot drinks. Sonea found her appetite still had not recovered, so she only picked at a few of the dishes before pushing her plate aside.

Although Akkarin raised his eyebrows at her rejection of good food, he said nothing. She was surprised to see him tuck into a hearty meal until she remembered what he had told her years ago, when they first started working with black magic together. His golden rule, or so he said, was to eat properly, regardless of how he felt, because the use of black magic was draining on both his magic source and his physical body. She guessed that a difficult meeting with the unpredictable King might be just as demanding in its own way as fighting black magicians.

After finishing their meal, the next task was to change into the more appropriate clothing they had brought with them. Although the clothing was of a reasonable quality and, in Sonea's case, unworn, they were garments that might be worn by a prosperous farmer, rather than members of the Houses visiting the King. Akkarin, of course, looked elegant in whatever garments he wore, but Sonea was more self-conscious about her own appearance.

As a dwell, she had worn shabby clothing, often ill fitting and usually second-hand; as a member of the Guild, she had worn robes supplied to her over simple loose trousers and a shirt, and living in the mountains meant she wore sensible clothing suitable for working on the land. So her experience of dressing to meet anyone of importance, let alone the King, was very limited. It didn't help the slightly queasy feeling in her gut, when she looked at herself in the mirror and saw small slim figure dressed in a dark green woollen skirt, a cream linen shirt, embroidered around the neckline, and with a green cloak folded over her arm. It was an image that was quite unfamiliar to her and she wasn't sure she liked it.

They collected their horses from the stable and set off. Sonea had used magic to divide her skirt, so that she could sit in the saddle easily. It was a quick spell and it would be equally quick to reverse once they got to the hunting lodge. As usual, Akkarin seemed to know the route they must follow and once again, she envied his ability to carry around a map of Kyralia in his head.

Their journey took them through a more gentle landscape than they had been used to of late. The countryside consisted of rolling green hills with gently rising tracks that opened out periodically into wide views across streams and meadows to the distant peaks of the Grey Mountains. There was plenty of woodland, with open glades and they took advantage of one of these for their mid-day meal. The innkeeper had made them up a bundle of food, bread, cheese, thick slices of ham and several sweet cakes. There was a bag of fruit too, and a bottle of pale rose wine to wash it all down.

Sonea spread it all out and they sat down to eat. The sun was pleasantly warm and she could hear birds singing nearby. After finishing what little food she fancied, she lay back in the sun and closed her eyes. She tried to remember everything she had ever known about the King. She knew he had been close to Akkarin, but that hadn't seemed to count for much when it came to the Hearing_. He should have trusted Akkarin! _Her thoughts were angry because she couldn't understand how someone could have relied so closely on Akkarin for years and yet be convinced so quickly that he was an evil person. Whenever she had tried to discuss this with Akkarin, he'd always refused to condemn Merin for what he had done, but she was not so charitable.

She felt a touch on her arm and opened her eyes to find Akkarin squatting next to her.

"Time to go," he said softly, "Although you do look very comfortable lying there rather invitingly."

She stretched her arms until they reached round his neck and pulled him down towards her for a kiss. When he wanted to take things a little further, she pushed him off with a tiny shriek, "My skirt! Don't crease my skirt!"

He laughed and pulled her to her feet, "Why worry when a little magic will fix things?" But when she continued to protest, he let her go and turned to untie the horses. He boosted her into the saddle, then swung up on to his own horse. He looked up at the sun.

"Yes, we will arrive in good time," he said. "Not too early, nor too late."

The closer they got to the hunting lodge, the more wooded the landscape. There was plenty of deer and other game in the countryside so the King would be able to enjoy good hunting. They met no one, though. There were no villages or hamlets along the trails they followed, so if the King wished for solitude, this area would seem to be the ideal place.

Leaving the woodland behind. they found themselves in an open area surrounding a large stone building next to a river. There was a wall around the building and its garden, interrupted only by a pair of large metal gates, guarded by a bored looking man who was, Sonea guessed, a member of the King's Guard in civilian clothes.

"Captain Verrin to see the King," Akkarin said as they reached the gates. "He is expecting us."

The guard nodded and opened the gates, "There's a stable round the back. Take the horses there. Someone will show you where to go."

They walked the horses along a path that took them round the side of the building. It wasn't as large as she'd first thought and certainly not the sort of place you would expect the King to own. _That's the idea, I suppose,_ she thought. _He can spend some time pretending he isn't the King! _Certainly it would be impossible to bring even a quarter of the Court to stay here, what with all their attendants and servants, to say nothing of their baggage.

As they neared the stable, a groom emerged and took charge of the horses. Another took them into the lodge. They were shown into a fairly small guest room, barely half the size of the one in the Residence. The furniture was made in country style, with none of the ornate decoration found in homes in the wealthier parts of Imardin. Sonea looked around with a faint air of disappointment. She had been expecting something a little more, well, regal.

Akkarin wandered off to look at the paintings on the walls, while Sonea sat in one of the chairs and picked up a book from a side table. It was a learned discourse on hunting, with very little in the way of illustration, so she soon lost interest and put it down again.

There was silence in the house and no sign that anyone was coming to take them to the King. Sonea found herself tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair, impatient with the wait. She forced herself to stop and jumped up to walk round the room to have a closer look at its contents.

It didn't take her long. Akkarin had by this time finished his inspection of the paintings and had taken up the discarded book on hunting, seemingly engrossed in its contents. Sonea found herself becoming quite cross. Not only had they been left alone in the guest room, but also no one had even thought to offer them refreshments, a traditional part of welcoming guests. _After all_, she thought crossly, _we are here because he asked us, not because it is our idea!_

She was just about to make her thoughts known to Akkarin when the door opened and the King himself came in. It took her a moment to recognise him as he was dressed in a very plain shirt and trousers with no jewels on his person, apart from the royal ring. She was about to make her curtsey when Merin brushed past her and went up to Akkarin.

"Akkarin, my friend," Merin said warmly, "It's so good to see you again after all this time."

Akkarin made a graceful bow, "It has been a long time, Your Majesty," he replied in a courtier's tone, with none of the warmth of the King's voice.

Sonea opened her mouth to add her greeting, but it seemed as far as the King was concerned there was no one in the room but Akkarin. Merin clapped him awkwardly on the shoulder in a half-hug and said, "Come, we'll find a more comfortable room where we can talk properly."

He turned and led the way out of the guestroom, continuing to ignore Sonea who trailed along behind them. The King led them along a passage, then up a flight of stairs. He opened one of the doors arranged round a landing and took them into a much larger room. It was more like a library or study, filled with light from the large windows. There was a large fireplace, a series of comfortable chairs, a huge desk and walls lined with bookshelves. He indicated a chair and suggested Akkarin sit down.

"You recall my companion, Your Majesty? She was my Novice, if you remember." Akkarin's voice had an underlying thread of annoyance which Merin noticed at once.

"Err, yes," the King said unconvincingly, "I remember. Sit down, err…"

"Sonea," she supplied as it became obvious Merin had forgotten her name.

"Yes, of course, sit down, Sonea." Merin said quickly, then turned his attention back to Akkarin, "We have a lot to discuss."

A servant entered the room noiselessly, carrying tray containing a bottle of Anuran Dark and two glasses. The King waved him towards a table, but Akkarin, noticing the missing glass quietly drew the servant's attention to the omission. The man coloured and went swiftly to find one, which he placed quietly next to the others.

Meanwhile, the King had seated himself behind his desk and was looked impatiently at his former Advisor.

"We have a lot of important things to discuss and I don't think it appropriate that your…err…companion remains. If she would like refreshments, I can arrange…."

"My companion shared my judgement, shared my exile and shared my battles with the Ichani. I have no intention of excluding her from anything we might discuss." Akkarin's voice was cold, "If you feel that strongly about her, Merin, then our discussion is at an end."

With that he rose from the chair and turned towards Sonea, holding out his hand, "Come Sonea, we will leave now."

She stood up abruptly. Whatever she'd expected from the afternoon's discussion, being dismissed in so casual a fashion had not been part of it. She glanced at Akkarin who was at his cold and distant best and after hesitating a moment, placed her hand in his. They turned for the door.

"No! No, Akkarin," the King's voice was anxious. "You're quite right, do remain, Sonea. I'm sorry if you felt unappreciated. It's a very worrying time."

"Are you sure, Merin?" Akkarin asked. "I'm more than happy to leave…."

Sonea was astonished at the casual way Akkarin addressed the King. She had only ever seen them together in formal situations, when the former High Lord had been careful to bend his knee at the right time and his conversation was littered with 'Your Majesty' or 'Sire' at regular intervals. To see them now gave her a completely different view of their relationship. The King seemed to regard Akkarin as a friend and Akkarin in his turn spoke as if to an equal.

The King nodded, "I've been going out of my mind with worry about the Guild and what's going on there. There's no one I can trust to give me proper advice and when Vinara hinted you were alive, it seemed as if the Eye of Heaven had preserved you to come to my aid."

Akkarin laughed unexpectedly, "You've been seeing too many plays, Merin! I doubt my preservation had anything to do with the Eye." He glanced briefly over at Sonea, "No, it had more to do with other things."

They turned back from the door and Akkarin went to sit opposite the King. Sonea found a place where she could observe the two men without being in their direct line of vision. For a moment or two, they drank some wine and spoke about ordinary things, re-establishing a connection disrupted by several years' separation. Then at last, Akkarin changed the direction of their conversation.

"So, Merin, I'm here at your invitation. What is it you want?"

Merin seemed a little taken aback at the directness of the question and didn't answer for a moment. Then he stared straight at Akkarin and said, "I want you to go back and get the Guild under control again. Balkan has created a situation where one group seems to be fighting another group, one Discipline is manoeuvring to outwit another and the whole organisation is in danger of simply falling apart. It must stop. You are the only man who can do it."

Sonea found herself almost holding her breath. _What would be Akkarin's reply to such a direct plea for help? _For his part, Akkarin's expression didn't change, he merely looked searchingly at Merin, then said, "I'm sorry, Merin, but it's too late. Seven years ago, you had the opportunity to take what I said on trust and support my position. You chose not to. How close was I to execution?" He held up two fingers, a hair's breadth apart. "That close! You should have trusted me then, Merin. But when it came to it, you couldn't or wouldn't! Why should I heed your call now?"

Sonea watched as various emotions flashed across the King's face. She saw how his lips tightened and his eyes narrowed. Suddenly she was afraid. Friend or not, Merin had almost yielded before to a desire to kill Akkarin.

_Take care_, she sent softly, _the King is angry_.

If Akkarin heard her mental whisper, he gave no sign, merely continued looking at the King.

"I am your King!" Merin said sharply. "You owe me duty and loyalty."

Still Akkarin said nothing, but his gaze on the King's face was unwavering.

"I command you to do as I say!" There was a slight tremor in the King's voice.

"You no longer command me, Merin," Akkarin's voice was steady. "I am here because you are my friend, not because you are my King."

Something changed in Merin's face. Sonea wasn't quick enough to read his expression, but she saw how his shoulders slumped a little and it seemed to her that he grew smaller somehow, as if he was shrinking in on himself. Akkarin's sharp eyes noted it too, and his expression softened slightly.

"You're my friend, too, Akkarin. Sometimes I think you are my only friend and I have missed you and your counsel these last years. My Advisors either tell me what they think I want to hear or they try to bully me into doing what _**they**_ want. You were the only one who tried to understand me and what I wanted."

Akkarin refilled the King's glass and pushed it into his hand, "Drink some of this, it'll make you feel better. Now tell me everything."

Over the next few minutes, Merin explained what exactly what was wrong at the Guild. It was much as Lorlen had already told them, factions fighting amongst themselves, a lack of discipline within the Guild itself and a clear absence of leadership from its High Lord. When he came to the end, he looked at Akkarin with hope in his eyes.

"It needs you to pull it all together and put an end to the in-fighting. What will happen if the Ichani try again? The Guild is in no position to be able to defend itself, and what will happen to the rest of the country then?"

Akkarin rose and began pacing up and down. Merin watched him closely, waiting to hear the words he was desperate to hear, that his former Advisor would do what he asked. But when Akkarin stopped pacing and sat once more in front of the King, his first words summed up the main obstacle to doing what the King wanted.

"I have been expelled from the Guild. I no longer have any rank or authority. I cannot simply turn up at the Guild gates, demand to be let in and then start a wholesale reorganisation. The Warriors would capture me as soon as I tried and I would be dead before nightfall. It won't work, Merin."

To Sonea's surprise, Merin was undismayed by Akkarin's words. He smiled slowly and leant forward, "I have been carrying out a lot of research in ancient Court records in recent weeks. Ever since I spoke to Vinara and found out you were alive, I have been thinking of how to get you back into the Guild, and I have found the answer."

"When the Guild was established all those hundreds of years ago, the King at the time was closely involved. After all, no King worth his crown wants a powerful body set up in his country over which he could exercise no control at all. You know how it all works, but there's probably one thing you might not know."

The King's smile got broader as he saw the interest in Akkarin's face, "The King has the power to appoint a properly trained and qualified magician to the Guild and neither the High Lord, nor the Higher Magicians can prevent it. The King's Magician is under the direct protection of the King and cannot be disciplined by the Guild without the King's full involvement and consent. There hasn't been one for almost four hundred years, because there's been no need of one, but things are very different now. I want you to become the King's Magician!"


	14. Marriage Proposal

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Marriage Proposal

There was absolute silence after the King had finished speaking. Akkarin, for once, looked completely surprised. He took a large swallow of his wine, then gave the King a wary look.

"You want me to be what?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard properly.

Merin looked very pleased with himself. It wasn't often he found Akkarin lost for words. "I have copies of the relevant parchments here somewhere," he said as he rummaged around in his desk drawer. "Ah, yes, here they are. It's quite legal, Akkarin. It was part of the original agreement when the Guild was set up. I think it wasn't meant to be used regularly, only if the King deemed it necessary. As I said, it hasn't been used for hundreds of years, but the law has never been rescinded. I've had it all thoroughly investigated by my Legal Advisor and it's clear that I can do this. There's nothing Balkan can do about it either."

Akkarin picked up the documents Merin pushed towards him and read through them in silence. Merin's gaze was fixed on his face, and Sonea could see the barely hidden excitement in it. Akkarin checked one or two of the parchments again, then looked up.

"Congratulations, Merin," he said with a smile, "you have worked very hard on this. I wonder why I never came across any reference to this in the Guild's records, probably because it wouldn't be a very popular appointment as far as the High Lords were concerned. To be frank, Merin, I'm not sure just how far your protection would run, once your Magician was inside the Guild."

Merin didn't look as disappointed at Akkarin's reaction as Sonea had thought he might. The reason soon became clear. "There is another way to increase protection for you," he said, then paused, flicking a brief glance over at Sonea, before adding, "I can extend my protection through marriage."

Sonea stared at him, _Marriage? What did he mean? _But she knew exactly what the King was proposing and it would have been foolish to try to convince herself otherwise.

"That is not an option, Merin," Akkarin's voice was cool.

"But you are not married, are you Akkarin?" Merin asked carefully. "My cousin, Princess Anyetta, is of marriageable age. A marriage between you would make you a member of the Royal House. No one would dare to attack you in those circumstances."

"No, Merin," Akkarin replied firmly, "I will not marry your cousin."

The King's face took on a stubborn look, "I can't see why not."

"Sonea is the mother of my son, Merin. That's why not."

"But you haven't married her, have you?" The King's voice had an undercurrent of triumph mixed with anger. "I am sure a suitable settlement can be made for her and your son. You could even raise your son after your marriage…..I'm sure Anyetta would be accommodating."

All the while this conversation was going on, Sonea sat as if frozen. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest and her mouth was dry. _Marriage into the King's family! _Of all the things she might have expected from today's meeting, that was the last thing she'd thought of. _A dwell wouldn't think of marriage as an alliance_, she thought bitterly, _and that's what I am, in the end, just a dwell_. But for the King and members of the Houses, this sort of thing went on all the time. She could see the neatness of Merin's scheme. An official appointment as the King's Magician to get Akkarin back into the Guild and membership of the Royal House to provide not only greater personal protection, but also a network of allies, all eager to prove their worth to the King.

"You really haven't thought this through, Merin," Akkarin's voice intruded into her whirling thoughts. "I was convicted and disgraced. You might be able to use this old appointment to get me back into the Guild, you might be able to overturn my conviction, but the Houses would never accept my marriage into your family. You risk accusations of being part of what I did, of encouraging me to learn what is forbidden, you risk turning the Houses against you. It cannot be done!"

"No, wait!" Sonea heard her voice come faintly, as if from a long way away, but she was determined to speak. "Don't dismiss it out of hand, Akkarin. The King is right, it would give you protection and status. It would keep you safe and that's all that matters."

_I only want what's best for you_, she sent before he could reply. _That's all I've ever wanted._

_I will not do this Sonea._

Akkarin rose to his feet and looked down at the King, "I will think about what you have proposed. I cannot give you an answer now and I'm sure you don't expect me to. Sonea and I will return tomorrow and you will have your answer then."

"I have a room prepared for you," Merin said quickly. "I hadn't thought you would bring a companion, but it will do for two. A servant will come to tell you when the evening meal is ready. In the meantime, think carefully about what I offer you."

Merin rang a bell and almost instantaneously the door opened and a servant appeared. They followed him out on to the landing. He led them up another flight of stairs and stopped before a door.

"In there," he said gruffly and quickly disappeared back down the stairs.

"Well, he's not one for courtesy, is he?" Sonea said with a credible attempt at a laugh as she opened the door.

The room was not large and, like the rest of the house, was plainly furnished. Apart from the bed, a side table and a chest of drawers, it was empty. There was another door and when she opened it, Sonea found herself in a tiny washroom. It didn't take long to explore and when she came back into the bedchamber, she found Akkarin lying on his back on the bed. His eyes were closed and he wore his distant look. She knew by now that meant he was thinking. She climbed on to the bed and lay next to him, putting an arm around him. She didn't say anything, but waited to see what conclusion he would come to.

After a while she heard his mental voice, _I shall not marry, Sonea, have no fear of that._

_But you will return to the Guild?_

_There may be something I can do and it would seem Merin has found a way to get me in without challenging Balkan._

_You could be killed. If you were part of the King's family, no one would dare to attack you._

_I don't believe that. If someone wanted me out of the way, King's cousin or not, they would do it._

_I want to come with you._

_Sonea, that is not possible._

She smiled and let her amusement show in her mental voice, _You forget, I made a promise to look after you. That was a lifelong commitment._

Akkarin rolled over and held her against his body. "You and your promise," he whispered in her ear, "it's your answer to everything."

"Yes," she agreed, "it is."

They passed time very pleasantly until Sonea decided she needed to tidy herself ready for the evening meal. There was plenty of water in the jug in the washroom. She heated it with magic and enjoyed a good wash. She took the creases out of her clothing, again with magic and dressed herself while Akkarin took his turn in the washroom. She sat in front of a mirror and stared at her hair. She was just not practised enough in dealing with long hair and she wished it were still the short curly mop it had been for most of her life. But Akkarin liked long hair on a woman, so she had grown it to please him, but privately she considered it to be a nuisance.

She was still staring at it when he emerged from the washroom. He came and stood behind her, "What's the matter?" he asked.

She confessed her inability to deal with her hair and he smiled at her reflection, "Let's see what I can do."

Privately she thought he wouldn't make a good job of it, but to her surprise he brushed her hair into separate sections and deftly pinned them up, with the help of magic. When he'd finished, her hair formed a natural coronet around her head. He had even created some small white flowers which he placed randomly among the coils.

"Wherever did you learn to do that?" she asked.

He had been smiling at her surprise, but as she asked the question, his expression altered to its old familiar mask.

"Slaves learn many things to please their masters," he said calmly.

It was something she had heard from him before in the years they'd been together. Although she was still curious about his life with the Ichani, she knew from previous experience he would tell her no more. _One day_, she thought, _he will trust me enough to tell me everything. One day…_

Not long afterwards, the servant rapped on their door and summoned them to the meal. They followed him in silence down the stairs to the now familiar landing. This time, he took them to another door, and opened it this time to show them into a pleasant dining room. Akkarin stiffened as he glanced at the table. Sonea followed his gaze and saw the table had been set for four people.

_Who….? _was as far as her thoughts got before the King arrived. He had changed into more ornate clothing, but still nothing like the royal robes he wore at Court. Sonea didn't have much time to consider his outfit because it was his companion which drew her eye. The young woman, whose arm was resting lightly on the King's, was tall and slender. She had fair hair which tumbled down her back from beneath a wreath of pale yellow flowers. Like Sonea, she was wearing green, but her richly embroidered gown flowed in pale silvery green folds, tiny jewels catching the light as she moved, rather than the dark green of Sonea's clothing. She looked like a forest sprite and made Sonea feel awkward.

Once again Merin ignored her and moved towards Akkarin, bringing the woman with him.

"May I present my cousin, Princess Anyetta," he said with a smile. "Anyetta, this is Lord Akkarin of family Delvon, House Velan."

Anyetta spread her skirts and made a fluid curtsy while Akkarin performed a Court bow.

"Princess," he said in a courteous but cool tone.

There was a moment's silence before Sonea, realising that no one was going to introduce her, said, "I am Sonea."

Anyetta turned towards her and smiled, "Lady Sonea, I am pleased to meet you."

Sonea decided to let the undeserved honorific pass. Anyetta had the sort of warm, lilting voice which went with the rest of her appearance, the sort of voice which made you want to speak more with her, just for the joy of hearing it. Sonea risked a sideways glance at Akkarin. He was not looking at the Princess, but was staring at Merin and it wasn't a pleasant look.

Merin coloured faintly and turned towards the table, indicating where each should sit. Sonea found herself opposite the King, while Anyetta faced Akkarin. Merin must have made some sort of signal, for the door opened and a servant brought in the first course.

There was plenty of wine, water and fruit juice on the table. Sonea ignored the water and fruit juice and poured herself a large glass of pale yellowish wine. She took a mouthful. It was crisp and refreshing in her mouth, so she swallowed and took another large mouthful. As it went down, it spread a feeling of warmth in her stomach and calmed the fluttering which had started the minute she'd seen Anyetta.

The meal passed in a succession of delicious tasting dishes, washed down by many glasses of wine, but Sonea barely tasted the food in her mouth. Her thoughts were bound up with Akkarin and Anyetta. Earlier, she had been, if not happy, at least at ease, with the thought that Akkarin's safety would be assured by his marrying into the Royal House. Her love and desire to protect him were greater than her need to have him for herself alone.

She had assumed that the King's cousin would be similar to Merin himself, pleasantly featured, but not handsome, with conversation perhaps limited to what went on at Court or the latest fashions. But Anyetta wasn't like that cosy picture at all. Not only was the girl a beauty, but also the snatches of conversation Sonea registered were on a range of subjects, including magic, which the Princess confessed herself to be fascinated by. She was also quite young, younger than Sonea by several years.

Sonea had almost persuaded herself that Akkarin's marriage would be no threat to their own relationship, that perhaps it would be a public marriage only, and they would continue to be lovers. Now, however, having seen the charming Princess, she was having second thoughts. _How could anyone fail to fall in love with her?_ she thought. _She is everything I'm not….. _


	15. A Bargain is Made

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**A Bargain is Made**

The interminable meal eventually came to an end. Sonea had drunk more of the wine than she should, but it helped calm the terrible fluttering in her stomach every time she looked up at Anyetta or Akkarin. The King addressed very little to her, seemingly more interested in the conversation between his cousin and his Magician. As the servants began to clear away the now empty plates and dishes, Merin indicated they should move to the guest room.

There they found yet more wine, along with plates of fresh fruit. To her surprise, Merin came to Sonea and asked what she would like to drink. She chose the rich red Anuren Dark and Merin smiled as he handed it to her.

"Akkarin's favourite, as I recall," he murmured. Then staring intently at her, continued, "You are very fond of him, I think," and, with an unconscious echo of her earlier thought, he went on, "You want the best for him, don't you?"

She sipped the wine, "Yes, of course."

"He faces a difficult task if he returns to the Guild," the King said, waving her to a seat and sitting next to her. "There will be people who will not want to see him back. There may be some who still feel he should have paid the ultimate price for studying forbidden magic. I'm not afraid they will be stronger than him in magic, it's the ordinary human mischief I fear - the dagger in the night, the poison slipped into wine – those are the things he will have to guard against. Marriage into my House may give some magicians cause to think carefully about their actions."

Sonea was silent, her thoughts churning around. The King had put into words what she had thought to herself. There was little chance of Akkarin being overcome by magic. He was still the strongest magician in the Allied Lands, and years of fighting the Ichani had honed his skills in using magic as a weapon, but as a man he was vulnerable to assassination. He needed her to guard his back. She looked at Merin, just how much could she bargain with him? She knew he could be stubborn, Akkarin had said as much in the past, but perhaps he could be persuaded.

"I understand," she said carefully. "I would do anything to help protect him from danger. You know of my promise? I am bound by it, that's why I went with him instead of staying in the Guild. If he goes back into the Guild, I want to go with him."

"That may be difficult…" the King started, but she interrupted him. "If you want someone to help guard against assassination, then you need someone who can be trusted, someone who cares about what happens to him." She stared at Merin, "I am the mother of his child, I can be trusted."

Merin looked searchingly at her, "If I can arrange for you to go with him, what will you agree to?"

"I will not stand in the way of his marriage to your cousin."

Now the fatal words had left her mouth, she was faintly surprised not to feel any better. The churning in her stomach had got worse and she could feel what little food she had eaten as a cold solid lump in her gut. But her glance didn't waver as she stared into the King's eyes. She watched him consider her words, trying to find some hidden motive, but she knew he wouldn't find any, for there was none. Akkarin had to be kept safe and if that meant he must marry a beautiful, charming Princess, then that was what she must try to persuade him to do.

Merin nodded, "A bargain, Lady Sonea," he said.

Something in his voice and tone must have carried because Akkarin looked up from where he had been in conversation with the Princess and Sonea found it difficult to meet his gaze. She watched as he excused himself to Anyetta and came over to where she was sitting with Merin.

"Sonea," he said, "Would you like more wine?"

_Sonea, what is it? _His mental voice, as ever, was soft, so she barely heard it.

_Nothing_. _The King was just talking to me_.

"Thank you," she said, smiling and holding out her glass. Akkarin gave her a searching look, but she continued to smile, taking care to keep her surface thoughts calm. Almost reluctantly, he took her glass and turned to refill it. She took it back with a murmured thank you, and inclined her head towards the King to restart their conversation, leaving him little choice but to return to the Princess.

Anyetta had watched this byplay attentively and Sonea was alarmed to see the sharp glance thrown in her direction by the Princess. Those pale blue eyes didn't miss a thing.

Sonea looked away quickly, not wanting to give anything away. She saw out of the corner of her eye Akkarin sit down by Anyetta's side and caught a glimpse of the Princess leaning towards him, as if eager to hang on his every word.

"So, we are agreed then?" Merin said and she dragged her attention back to him.

"Yes," she replied. "How will you arrange for me to accompany Akkarin?"

Merin frowned in thought for a moment, before saying, "There's nothing in the agreement between King and Guild that says the King's Magician cannot be accompanied by his own people. You will be part of the group that goes with him. Yes, you and one or two servants should do. I intend that Akkarin will be officially the King's Black Magician. There's no point trying to hide the fact that he has learned it and can use it. After all, he used it in defence of the Guild and without him, things would have gone badly for it. You, too, will have to be recognised as a black magician. That alone might act as some sort of protection for you."

"Balkan won't like it," she said, remembering her encounter with him after her capture. "He has very strong views about forbidden magic and I'm sure his Warriors will share his opinion. It is forbidden by all the rules and regulations of the Guild." She felt like adding, but didn't, that King Merin himself had upheld those rules when he condemned Akkarin.

"The King's Magician is outside the Disciplines of the Guild. That is clear from the documents. If I decide that my Magician is a Black Magician, the Guild may not like it, but they cannot over-ride me. I have been studying the history of the Guild and how it came into being. Its magicians studied this so-called forbidden magic and used it for a very long time after the Guild was formed. It was only later that they decided it should not be learned. Now, we can see that was a mistake. Our enemies use this form of magic and we must be able to defend ourselves, and if that means changing the rules of the Guild back to what they were in the beginning, so be it."

Sonea was surprised to hear the firmness in Merin's tone. She had formed the impression that he was rather a weak man, unable to be firm, and mostly reliant on the help of others. But the man sitting next to her sounded in control and clear about his objectives. She only hoped that he was right and Akkarin would be accepted as the King's Black Magician, if only on the surface, so that he could get on with the task he had been given. She didn't know enough about Guild politics to judge whether or not the King had a right to insist on there being a black magician associated with it. She had disliked Guild history as a novice, barely paying attention in most classes. Now, of course, she wished she had listened more carefully.

"If Akkarin agrees, and does manage to deal with the Guild's problems, what then?" Sonea asked.

Merin blinked, as if he hadn't expected the question, "That would depend," he said rather vaguely.

"On what?" she asked.

"There are…err…many things to consider….." Merin began, before seeming to come to a decision that the conversation was over. He rose to his feet, indicating she should remain where she was, and turned to Akkarin.

"There's something I need to show you, Akkarin," he said. "Come with me for a moment."

As they left the room, Sonea found herself wondering what she was going to talk about with the Princess. Anyetta didn't seem to be concerned. She refilled her wine glass and came over to where Sonea was sitting and sank gracefully into the seat vacated by the King.

"So, Lady Sonea," she said in her lovely voice, "tell me about life in the Guild."

It sounded like the start of the sort of conversation Sonea supposed royalty might have with someone they were expected to talk to and she was sure Anyetta wasn't really interested in her answer.

"I'm sure there are other things you would rather know about, Princess," she said calmly.

Anyetta smiled warmly, "Of course, I'd really like to know more about Lord Akkarin and you know him well."

_Where to start?_ Sonea thought somewhat hysterically. _What did a woman say about her lover to his prospective wife?_

"He is extremely learned in the ways of magic and a very powerful magician…" she began, but Anyetta interrupted her impatiently, "I know that. Tell me about him as a man."

"I've known him for many years, and yet I cannot say I know him well," Sonea said. "He keeps many things to himself. What is your impression of him, Princess?"

Anyetta sat back in her chair and stared into space for a moment, "He is handsome enough," she said eventually, "that no woman would be ashamed to be seen in his company at parties and balls. His conversation is adequate; he listens attentively and says all the right things, but nothing of any consequence. He has all the social graces one would expect from a member of a noble House. His face and physique are pleasing enough that lovemaking would not be too much of a burden and I'm sure he would father pretty children."

It took a lot of control for Sonea to keep her expression calm, when what she really wanted to do was stare, open-mouthed at the Princess. Anyetta sounded more like someone discussing the suitability of a horse she wanted for breeding purposes than a young woman talking about a future marriage partner.

But something must have shown in her eyes, because Anyetta gave a tinkling laugh, "You are surprised, Lady Sonea? These things are important, I assure you. Too many of my friends have been married to men whose appearance and conversation have fallen far short of any young woman's dream. Why, only last year, my closest friend was married to someone who was twenty years older, several inches shorter and considerably fatter than she was." Anyetta's lip curled and she pulled a face, "When I think of her marriage night…"

"So you would find it acceptable to marry Lord Akkarin? He is a lot older than you." Sonea asked.

"As I said, he is not unpleasing. I'm told magicians age slowly too, so the age difference is not that important, at least it won't be for many years yet. I expect we will be able to deal well with each other. But what about you, Lady Sonea? You are his lover I believe. What do you think about his marriage?"

For the second time in the conversation, Sonea hung on to her control with some difficulty. _Was there nothing this girl didn't know? _

"I've shocked you!" Anyetta said with another tinkling laugh. "We of the Houses are used to thinking of marriage as an arrangement for a purpose, rather than a thing of passion. My parents' marriage was arranged when they were in their cradles and the ceremony took place when they were barely in their teens. The purpose was to settle a longstanding disagreement over property. I've always known my own marriage would be to suit the King's purpose rather than mine. I simply asked him to find me a handsome husband and that he has done. What more could I want?"

"I am a dwell, Princess, we see things differently." Sonea couldn't prevent the bitterness in her tone.

"Yes, I'd heard that," Anyetta replied. "When Lord Akkarin and I are married, there will be no opportunities for lovers. You do understand that, Lady Sonea?"

"Why is that Princess, when you obviously do not consider love to be part of your marriage arrangements?"

"I will not be held up to ridicule. I do not want it said that despite his marriage to the King's beautiful cousin, Lord Akkarin continues to have a dwell as a lover. No, from the date of our marriage, you will not so much as touch Lord Akkarin with the tip of your finger ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

What she wanted to do, Sonea discovered, was to put her hands around that delicate throat and squeeze the life out of the beautiful, yet entirely cold unfeeling woman in front of her. Or perhaps use a stunstrike to render her helpless, before stripping the flesh slowly from her bones. Or encase her in a block of ice so thick she would never escape. Or…_Stop! This is not about me and what I feel; it's for Akkarin so that he'll be safe._

"Yes, Princess," she said calmly, "you are very clear."


	16. Decision

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Decision**

Sonea awaited Akkarin with considerable feelings of trepidation. It was all very well knowing what the plan was; it was another matter to carry it out. Somehow, without allowing any hint of her own feelings to leak out, she had to persuade him to agree to the marriage with Anyetta. It would have been easier, perhaps, if she'd thought that the Princess would grow to love her husband, but her conversation with Anyetta had put paid to that thought. _She's so cold_, Sonea thought, _and_ _someone to be afraid of_…_despite the pretty face and charming voice._

Akkarin would know it too. His ability to read surface thoughts as easily as another read a page, meant he would have a shrewd idea of the Princess's character. Sonea wondered if he had delved deeper into Anyetta's mind during their intimate conversations earlier that evening. If Sonea had his ability, she knew she would have been unable to resist the temptation of finding out more about a prospective marriage partner. But Akkarin didn't want the marriage, so perhaps he hadn't bothered.

Sonea moved restlessly under the smooth sheets and fine woollen blankets. She had come up to bed almost an hour earlier, leaving Akkarin downstairs still talking with Anyetta. Merin had excused her readily, allowing a warm smile to cross his face, as she murmured how tired she was. There had been no reaction from Akkarin, although Anyetta had shot her one of those sharp glances when she stood up to leave.

_I wonder if Merin left them alone? _The thought was painful, but she steeled herself to examine it. She must try to get used to the idea of Akkarin and another woman. It felt very strange, though. In all the time she had known him, she had never seen him with another woman in what might be called intimate circumstances. Only she had succeeded in becoming his lover and that had been a difficult path. Part of her rejoiced at the thought that Anyetta would find it less than easy making her way into his bed, but she firmly shut the door on that delight. _Anyetta and Akkarin must marry_, she thought. _I will do anything to keep him safe…._

She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she was aware of was a warm naked body sliding into bed next to her. She was still drowsy, half believing she was dreaming, but instinctively she turned towards him and felt his arms enclose her and hold her close. A little sigh escaped her; she was where she was meant to be. She kissed the flesh under her mouth and felt her body leap in response to his quiet caress as his hands slid down her back. She pressed herself against him, reaching up to pull his head down towards hers. His mouth enclosed hers and she tasted the rich flavour of Anuran Dark on his lips and tongue.

_So pleased you're awake…._his mental voice slithered into her consciousness like smoke on the wind, so soft it was a mere whisper.

She laughed, _So am I…_

She moved suddenly, catching him unawares, rolling her body so that she found herself above him, her legs straddling his hips. She stared at him lying there motionless, his hair spilling over his shoulders and she thought he had never seemed so desirable to her before. He watched her look at him, his eyes black pools in the pale oval of his face, that faint crooked smile she loved hovering on his lips, waiting to see what she would do next.

She bent down to blot out his smile with her own and felt the thrust of his tongue move quickly in and out of her mouth as his hands cupped her breasts, moving his fingers in teasing little spirals, setting up a tingle in her flesh. She heard herself moan as her body cried out for more; he responded by turning until she lay underneath him, then his hands drifted down her body, creating eddies of pleasure as his fingers passed over her flesh.

She tried to move her body to encourage his movements, but he held her fast, unable to respond in the slightest, all the while setting up currents of pleasure in her flesh. She moaned again, _Please…..please_, she sent….but he ignored her mental cries and concentrated on creating deeper ebbs and flows of pleasure until her entire body was crying out for satiety.

Just as she felt she could take no more, he claimed possession of her, his fierce movements creating a rising tide of pleasure in her body. She responded in kind, using her mouth to find pulse points in his throat and neck, sucking and nipping with her teeth until she felt his flesh quiver beneath her touch. She could feel her own pleasure build and, for the first time, sent her mind questing for his. Abruptly, she was in his head, experiencing the pleasure and delight he took in her, feeling the depth of his emotions as he took them both to the peak of pleasure and desire.

Everything exploded around her as she encountered the double impact of her own pleasure allied to his. It was like nothing she had experienced before and like some desperate addict she wanted to do it all again and again. He was still inside her so she circled her hips against his whilst moving her hands over his back and the firm swell of his buttocks.

_Akkarin… _She was still in his mind and could hear her mental voice as he heard it, gliding through his consciousness.

_Sonea you continue to surprise me. _There was warmth and pleasure in his mental voice which echoed loudly in the mental space they both occupied.

She was conscious of herself as a small figure standing in his mind, watching as he strode purposefully towards her. It was the black clad figure of the High Lord which caught her imperiously in his arms and kissed her fiercely. Understanding flooded into her. It was the High Lord she had fallen in love with and, regardless of what had happened afterwards, Akkarin would always be the powerful and commanding High Lord in her eyes. That was how her heart and soul saw him and it was to that dominant figure of power that she belonged. Along with that revelation came another; she would never be able to let him go. Anyetta should not have him; he was hers and hers alone.

She opened her eyes and she was once more in her own mind and body. Akkarin was looking down at her, a smile curving his lips.

"What a delight you are, Sonea," he whispered. "So much more to discover….."

"I never dreamed what being in your mind during lovemaking would be like," she said with a giggle. "I can't wait to do that again."

He put his lips close to her ear and said in a mere exhalation of breath, "You will not have to wait long…"

His words sent a sharp sensation lancing through her and she felt her desire begin to grow again. It wasn't long before they were both caught up with the needs of their bodies, but in her head, Sonea could see the silken robes of the High Lord framing the pale flesh of his Warrior's body, as Akkarin took her with relentless passion to an even higher level of pleasure. Afterwards, she wondered how she appeared in his mind; she could only hope she was perhaps a little taller and more of a beauty.

They lay quietly in each other's arms, in that comfortable drowsy world of 'afterwards'. For Sonea, it was a time for considering her new position as far as Anyetta was concerned. Certainty was strong within her that she couldn't agree to let him go, to never be able to touch him again would be more than she could bear. Anyetta would know if she did, Sonea knew that as surely as she knew the Eye of Heaven blessed all those in Kyralia. So, she would have to tell the King that she couldn't let herself give Akkarin up to his cousin. That would break the bargain between them, but she would just have to find another way to get into the Guild.

It seemed as if Anyetta was on Akkarin's mind as well, for he said, "I shall not marry her, Sonea, despite the advantages you think she will bring. I will tell Merin in the morning."

Something made her say, "She's very beautiful, Akkarin."

He laughed, "She is, but she's also cold and shallow, not caring for much beyond her own pleasures. I could not trust her the way I trust you. She wouldn't think twice about arranging to rid herself of anyone she decided was of no further use. I doubt that her interest in me would last very long."

He went on, "Merin told me about your bargain, Sonea."

She felt the colour rush to her cheeks, _Could the King not keep anything to himself! _"I only want you to be protected," she said softly, "a royal marriage would help with that."

He laughed quietly, "A determined assassin would not let a small thing like a marriage ring prevent him from doing what he felt was right or what he was paid to do. No marriage will protect me, I must do it myself."

She rose up and rested on an elbow so that she could look him directly in the eyes, "You won't leave me behind, I promise you that. If you decide to go back to the Guild, I shall go with you."

"And what about Justen?" he asked.

For a terrible moment, Sonea realised that she had forgotten all about her son, the only thing that had mattered to her was Akkarin's survival. She took a deep breath and tried to marshal her thoughts. "He can live in Imardin with Takan. We can see him often, it won't be any different to you going off with the smugglers."

"Except you won't be there either," he pointed out.

"I can't be with him and with you," she said quietly. "I have to choose and I choose you, Akkarin. Justen will be safe with Takan. No one need know who his parents are; he will simply be another boy living in the city. But you, everyone will know who you are! There will be no hiding place in the Guild or at Court. Everyone's eyes will be firmly fixed on you. Someone will have to watch your back and that someone is me."

She watched him carefully, aware that he could easily prevent her from following her plan. Of course, she could read nothing in his face, but she continued to look at him, almost daring him to refuse to let her go back with him.

"Do you want a marriage ring, Sonea?"

His unexpected question threw her completely. In all her years with him, she had never considered marriage. He was a noble, despite all his denials and talk of starting the new family Verrin, and she was a dwell. Marriage between them seemed unlikely at best and impossible at worst. She thought about it, briefly, then dismissed it. If marriage to the King's cousin couldn't protect him, marriage to a dwell would certainly diminish him in many people's eyes. It would simply make his task so much harder.

"No," she said, "All I want is your love. I don't need a marriage ring to prove we are lovers."

He kissed her, his mouth lingering on hers. _You have my love….._

Sonea felt the warmth of his words spread though her. He didn't say the words she always longed to hear very often, which made them all the more special when he did say them.

"Have you decided to go back?" she asked.

"Yes. In many respects, it is my fault the Guild is in such turmoil. If I can, I mean to put it right. I will become the King's Magician for as long as it is necessary to sort things out. After that, well, we shall have to wait and see."


	17. Agreement

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Agreement**

Sonea was not looking forward to her meeting with the King. When she had left him the previous night, she had agreed to stand aside so that Anyetta's marriage to Akkarin would not be put at risk. Now she had to tell him that she was going to renege on her promise, and she expected Merin to be furious. In addition, there was also Anyetta to consider. Although there was no indication that she had any feelings at all for her prospective husband, she was a proud woman and wouldn't take too kindly to a dwell having what she could not.

She glanced over to where Akkarin was fastening the broad leather belt he wore under his jerkin. He seemed absorbed in his task and she could read nothing in his features. He had reassured her that things would turn out well. 'I can handle Merin,' he had said with complete confidence, "I've been doing it for years," and with that she had to be content.

Whatever the outcome of the meeting, they would be leaving today, returning to their home at the top of the mountain and the difficult problem of Justen. Sonea was longing to see her son again, although she was not looking forward to explaining why his mother and father would be leaving him in Takan's care for a long period of time. He was not yet six years old and although in many respects he was mature for his age, he was still a boy who loved his parents and one who had never been separated from his mother for more than a few days. She didn't know how he would take the news.

She pushed her concerns for Justen to the back of her mind, musing ruefully to herself that she was getting rather good at keeping unpleasant things hidden as far from her conscious thoughts as possible. What she had said to Akkarin was all too true; she couldn't look after her son and his father at the same time. It was not a happy choice to have to make and she was sure that there would be times when she would deeply regret it, but that didn't alter the fact that of all the people in Imardin who might have the protection of Akkarin as one of their duties, she was the only one who would do anything required in order to carry out her task, even to the loss of her own life. It wasn't just because she loved him that she felt this way. She had been convinced, right from the time she had discovered the real reason for Akkarin's actions, that he was the only person who could save the Guild, and of course that meant Kyralia, and the Allied Lands too, from conquest by the Ichani.

They made their way down to the dining room for the first meal of the day. Neither the King, nor the Princess was there, only a servant ready to bring their choice of dish immediately to the table. They both made sure they ate well. It was a long journey home and this time, they had no plans to linger at a comfortable inn. They had finished the food and were drinking the last of their tea when Merin appeared.

After receiving his plate of warm rolls and honey, the King dismissed the servant. He sat down opposite them and gazed at Akkarin with an expectant look. Recognising his cue, Akkarin lost no time in recounting his decision. He would go back to the Guild as King's Magician, but he would not marry Anyetta.

"It would not be fair to the Princess," he finished, "to expect her to enter into a marriage where it was not possible for me to give her all the affection she would deserve."

As Akkarin talked, Merin's face darkened and by the time he had finished, the King was frowning.

"You seem to have developed a strange view of marriage, Akkarin," the King said, his voice frosty. "Alliances between the Houses are practicalities, entered into for sensible reasons." Merin's eyes flicked suddenly over to Sonea, and his frown deepened. "Your…err…companion seems to have infected you with ideas from the slums, where I'm told it is required to 'love' your marriage partner."

Sonea felt her anger flare into life; _would she never be able to escape from her past?_ But before she could open her mouth to speak, Akkarin replied.

"The Princess is a beautiful and charming woman. I am sure there will be dozens of families among the Houses who would be thrilled to take her into their homes and their hearts as well as being deeply grateful for the honour shown them. Marriage to me would do nothing for her prestige but, more to the point, Merin, I don't believe that the marriage would provide any sort of protection for me, but rather stain your royal honour with my conviction and disgrace instead. It will turn some of the Houses against you and that is something I cannot permit."

The King continued to frown at Akkarin, his lips suddenly tight, but Akkarin simply gazed back, his expression open and sincere, as if he were willing Merin to see the truth of his words. Sonea held her breath. She was uneasy being so close to the King. Despite Akkarin's frequent assurance that Merin wouldn't harm him, she always had the scenes from their Hearing in her mind; especially the one where the King was so very close to ordering Akkarin's execution. Perhaps Akkarin's boast that he could handle the King would be proved untrue. It had been a long time since he had been one of the King's close Advisors.

Merin turned to look at Sonea, "Is this your doing, despite your promise?" he asked coldly.

Before she could respond, Akkarin retorted, "I make my own decisions, Merin, you know that. If she could, Sonea would change my mind and have me marry the Princess, but I will not, for the reasons I have given you."

Merin made no reply, but stood up and went over to the side table where he helped himself to more food. He returned to his seat and began to eat methodically, ignoring the others. Sonea expected either he or Akkarin to continue their conversation, but to her surprise they did not. Akkarin poured more tea and sipped it.

_Akkarin, what's happening?_ she sent when she could stand the silence no longer.

_This is Merin's way of making difficult decisions_.

Akkarin's reply was calm, with an underlying thread of amusement running through it, and went some way to reassuring her. She couldn't even think of more food, her stomach was churning so, but she had noticed a pot of raka among the food set out so carefully on the side table. It was no doubt cold by now, but she was good at reheating it to the scalding hot temperature she liked. She busied herself pouring and heating the drink, hoping that by the time she was finished, Merin would have come to his decision.

Merin finally finished his food and pushed the plate aside. He glanced up at his two companions.

"The Houses can be a source of trouble in the Kingdom," he said in a cool voice, devoid of emotion. "There are one or two with near claims to the Crown who would relish anything which might bring them a little closer to obtaining their desire. I can see your point, Akkarin, and reluctantly, I must accept it. You will go back to the Guild, as you are, and not as a member of my House."

"And me, Your Majesty?" Sonea asked quickly, "Shall I go with him?"

For perhaps the first time, Merin turned his full gaze directly on her. She found the intense examination by those pale eyes disconcerting and it was an effort not to let her tension show. The King remained silent, but his gaze sharpened, almost as if he could bore into her core and reveal the real Sonea. Then, rather unexpectedly, he smiled.

"You are a tenacious woman, Sonea. You certainly upset a great many people when you went with Akkarin and no doubt you will upset them again when you return with him. I have the strangest feeling that if I forbid you, you will simply find a way to defy me yet again. It's easier to let you have your way! You shall accompany Akkarin. There is no provision for two King's Magicians, so you will have to look to your own protection, there can be no official position for you, apart from my pardon which should make you eligible to return to the Guild."

"Th…Thank you, Your Majesty," she stuttered, but Merin's brief smile had vanished. He went on, "I wash my hands of you, Sonea. You will be on your own."

With that, he turned to Akkarin, "You will speak to the Princess? She is waiting in the guest room."

Akkarin rose and made a graceful Court bow, "I will speak to her now, then we will take our leave."

The King nodded, "I am returning to Imardin today and will make all the necessary arrangements. You will be sent instructions in the next few days." He reached down into a pocket and pulled out a heavy purse. "Money for your needs," he said as he pushed it over towards Akkarin.

Akkarin stared down at the leather purse lying on the table without making any attempt to pick it up. Sonea found herself holding her breath, surely he wouldn't toss it back to the King? Then he smiled, "Thank you Merin, a welcome parting gift." He picked it up and stuffed it in the pouch at his belt.

By this time, Merin had also risen and started for the door. "Don't forget Anyetta," he said over his shoulder as he left the room. Akkarin wasn't far behind and Sonea, at first thinking to stay in the dinning room, finally decided to wait out in the hall.

Akkarin was gone for several minutes. She wondered what was happening in the guest room. Would Anyetta be angry? Would she weep and storm at her rejection? Sonea suspected not. That would mean she had a fiery temperament and Sonea felt she was far colder than that. She wouldn't like Akkarin's decision, but at least no one but the four of them knew anything about it.

The door opened and Anyetta emerged, two spots of high colour in her cheeks, but apart from that there was no sign of her feelings. She was closely followed by Akkarin, who closed the door carefully behind him. Anyetta's sharp gaze took in Sonea and sharpened further.

"Lady Sonea, congratulations," she said in her soft musical voice, "it seems Lord Akkarin prefers your company to mine."

Before Sonea could reply, Anyetta turned in a swirl of silken skirts and ran lightly up the stairs.

"Come, Sonea, we need to leave as soon as we can." Akkarin's voice was clear and devoid of emotion. She longed to ask him what had been said in the guest room, but knew he wouldn't want to speak where he could be overheard. She followed him back to their room and packed up their few belongings.

There was silence in the house and no sign of anyone as they made their way to the stables. Their horses were already saddled and hitched to a rail outside the stables. There were no grooms to be seen. It was rather eyrie as if she and Akkarin were the only living people in the place. They loaded their belongings and swung themselves up into their saddle. There was no guard on the gates, which were open. They trotted up the path and out of the gate into the surrounding countryside.

It was a fine day, birds were singing round and about, and Sonea felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Their meeting with Merin had gone surprisingly well and Akkarin had managed to extricate himself from a potentially difficult situation regarding Anyetta. Sonea smiled inwardly. Her desire for action was about to come true. She and Akkarin would be working to heal the Guild and bring it back to its former calm and resolute state. And danger would be part of that task! Sonea would need to hone her Warrior skills. _So sad that Yikmo is no longer alive_, she thought, _he was a good teacher. But perhaps Akkarin will be a better one._


	18. Imardin Again

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Imardin Again**

_Imardin hasn't changed_. That was Sonea's first thought as she entered the gates of her birthplace after so many years' absence. The noisy, crowded streets were the same, with hurrying figures darting between obstructions and dodging other people as they went about their business just as they had always done. She could hear the familiar cries of street vendors plying their wares from the nearby street corners and caught glimpses of Thieves engaged in their unlawful activities. Nothing had changed at all.

The King had arranged a house for them in the West Quarter, not far from the busy market. His letter hadn't given much detail about it, so Sonea wasn't sure what to expect, but at least it would be a comfortable place for Justen and Takan to stay while she and Akkarin went off to live back in the Guild.

Justen had taken the news that his parents would be away surprisingly well, better in fact than Sonea had dared to hope. He had accepted the story she and Akkarin had agreed upon; that his parents had been asked to work on something which needed their constant attention day and night. His face had fallen initially, but once he understood that he would be staying in a city with Takan, his smile returned and she could see how much he was looking forward to leaving the mountains.

On the day they left for the capital, after having sent Takan and Justen off ahead of them, she and Akkarin used a very powerful form of magic to obscure their home from casual eyes. By the time they had finished, the buildings looked like ruins, the neat vegetable gardens appeared to be wildernesses of tangled brambles and weeds and there was no indication that anyone had lived there for many, many years.

As they moved off to join the others, she had turned round in the saddle for a last look at where she had lived safely for so long, and wondered if she would ever see it again, let alone live there. She had been careful not to question Akkarin as to his future intentions. It was plain to her that he wanted to concentrate on the task in hand and not enter into discussions about what would happen once the problems at the Guild had been dealt with. The King's letter had contained two royal pardons, one for each of them. These overturned the judgement against them and meant that once more, they were considered to be Guild magicians. Sonea was unsure how she felt about that. She still had a great deal of anger inside her over the way the Guild had treated them both.

There was the Hearing, of course, when they had refused to believe Akkarin or trust him to do what was right. She hated the way they'd tried to keep her, despite the fact that she had chosen to learn black magic, yet expressed no understanding of why Akkarin had done what he did. Later, there was what had happened at the gates when they had left Akkarin outside and offered no assistance, even when he had been struck by Kariko's strikes. Her own experiences following her capture and the meeting with Balkan had also not caused her to think of the Guild with any degree of pleasant anticipation. She was prepared for a great deal of hostility when they eventually did return, despite the pardons. _Still, I'm used to that!_ she thought. _I survived it once before and I'll do so again. _For Akkarin, though, it would be a different experience. He had been the Guild's most powerful leader, someone whose actions had not been questioned, at least up until the point where the black magic books had been discovered. _How would he deal with the hostility which would make his task so much harder? _

In the time she had been musing about the future, they had crossed from the North Gate into the cobbled streets of the West Quarter. The horses dropped from a trot to a walk as they entered the West Square. The crowds were thinning out a bit and the noise was less. She looked around at the houses. They seemed to be a little bigger and in better condition than their previous home near the docks. Akkarin led them through the square and into a side road. She noticed that houses were beginning to possess tiny gardens and more ornate door and window frames. They turned off into another road, this one very quiet with few people around. Here the houses were much grander, some even having balconies which overlooked the road. Finally, Akkarin stopped outside a large double fronted house. This one didn't have a front garden, but there was an area of grass and small trees to one side and which seemed to run round the back of the house.

Akkarin dismounted and helped Sonea down. Takan had already lifted Justen from his pony and the boy was looking eagerly around. As they reached the front door, it opened to reveal a bowing servant. Behind him was another who took charge of the horses and led them off, presumably to a stable.

"Welcome, my lord, my lady," the servant said with such an obsequious smile that Sonea decided she disliked him already. "You will find everything ready for you."

From what Sonea could see of the entrance hall and the grand staircase, the house was expensively decorated with fine pieces of carved furniture, antique ceramics and marble statues. There were paintings on the walls and what she could see of the curtains showed them to be made of fine embroidered velvet. The servant ushered them into the guest room, which had a large set of windows that took up almost an entire wall overlooking the gardens to the side of the house. Again, the room reeked of expensive attention to detail. It all made her feel very uncomfortable.

The servant went off to bring refreshments, leaving them get used to their new surroundings. Justen seemed very taken with the paintings, standing on a nearby chair in order to examine them closely.

_Akkarin, this is awful! _Sonea sent, unable to keep her feelings to herself.

_We will not be living here, and Justen seems pleased with it!_

Sonea was just about to reply with a cutting comment, when she noticed that Justen had turned towards them, his eyes flitting anxiously between her and Akkarin. His movements had stilled and there was a strange look on his face.

_Akkarin! I think he hears us! _

Sonea's mental voice sounded full of panic, even to herself and Justen reacted instantly by jumping from the chair and running to her, flinging his arms around her and burying his face in her clothing. She picked him up, raising his face so she could look into his eyes.

_Justen? Justen_, she sent, _it's all right._

Justen's face cleared and a smile began to hover on his lips. He moved his mouth, but there was no mental voice to accompany it. Meanwhile, his father had come to stand beside Sonea. He touched his son's face, looking searchingly into his eyes; after a moment, he turned to Sonea.

"Yes, he can hear us but doesn't he understand. His magic is beginning to emerge," Akkarin couldn't quite hide the pride in his voice. "We must start to teach him some easy ways to control it before it gets much stronger."

Before Sonea could say anything further, Akkarin went on, "Later, we'll talk about it later," before taking Justen by the hand to lead him out of the guest room. "Let's go and find your room," he said with a smile.

Takan followed them, leaving Sonea alone. She sat down and thought over what had happened. They had always taken great care not to use any sort of magic around Justen, even making sure their mental communication was kept tightly under control. It had been the impact of the new surroundings which had caused her to send without thinking, and now Justen could hear them. It meant that as his power in magic increased he would be able to communicate with them like any normal boy.

She found herself smiling in delight. To know that Justen would not be silent forever was the most wonderful thing she could imagine. She could have done with better timing, though. _Why couldn't this have happened before! Why now when we were leaving him?_ It was all so frustrating.

The servant reappeared carrying a large platter filled with cakes and other delicacies. Another servant carried a tray with pots of tea and raka, as well as bottles of wine. They placed these on the table, then bowing to Sonea, left the room. She wandered over and absently picked up a cake. Before she knew it, the cake was gone and her mouth was filled with a sticky, sugary sensation that she didn't like at all. She hurriedly poured a cup of raka and drank it down, trying to flush away the sickly taste of the cake.

"Sonea, you'll never guess what the King has done!"

She turned at Akkarin's voice and saw that he was standing by the door, smiling broadly. He beckoned, then disappeared, leaving her to follow. She caught sight of him turning the corner at the top of the grand staircase and ran lightly after him. She found him just inside the doorway to a large bedchamber. She went in and was immediately struck by the boldness of the decorations. The walls were hung with brightly coloured tapestries and the floor was covered by a deep red carpet with a pattern of scattered flowers and leaves. Like the rooms downstairs, the furniture was ornately carved and decorated with inlaid metals. Dominating the entire room was the largest bed Sonea had ever seen, hung with crimson velvet hangings, heavily embroidered with silver and gold thread. The whole atmosphere in the room was of a stomach churning richness, so striking, that Sonea felt it was almost giving her a headache.

She turned to Akkarin to find him watching her reaction with great amusement. She looked around again, just to make sure her first impressions were correct, then said, "Is this supposed to be our room? If it is, thanks be to the Eye that we'll be in the Guild. I've never seen anything as horrible as this before."

Akkarin nodded, "It's in the most appalling taste, but it is comfortable. Justen will be happy here and I'm sure Takan will find the kitchen up to his exacting standards." He took Sonea's hand, "But this isn't all, come over here." He led her towards a concealed door and pulled it open. Sonea found herself in a smaller room, obviously meant for storing clothing. There hanging from a row of hooks, she saw trousers, shirts jackets and sets of robes.

"The King has supplied us with everything we need for when we go back to the Guild."

"But these are black robes," Sonea said, puzzled at finding what looked like the High Lord's robes.

"Yes," Akkarin agreed, "but not like I wore before."

He pulled down one of the larger robes and held it out to her. She could feel it wasn't made of silk, but of a fine woollen cloth. It was not as full as Akkarin's earlier robes, and she could see it would hang differently. He pulled it over his head. It was a perfect fit and she felt a shiver of recognition – it was almost, but not quite, the old Akkarin, the one she had first hated, then come to love.

"Seeing you dressed in that will cause a few magicians to feel very uneasy," she said slowly. "I wonder if that's what the King intends…"

"Yes, I believe that's exactly what he intends," he replied. He held out his arm, and there on the sleeve, just as on the High Lord's robes, was a golden incal. She bent to examine it closely. It was not the Guild's incal, traditionally worn by High Lords, but the King's, put there to reinforce Akkarin's official position of King's Magician.

"These are yours."

Akkarin held out a smaller set of robes; like his, they were made of black woollen material, perhaps not quite as fine, but good quality nevertheless. There was no incal on her sleeve; instead there was a wide band of black velvet providing a border to the sleeve. She put it on, and like Akkarin's, it was a perfect fit. The King was obviously a man who took his preparations seriously.

It felt strange to her to be wearing the robes of a qualified magician. Her last set had been the shorter drab brown robes of a novice. In many ways, it didn't feel right. She expressed her doubts to Akkarin, but he dismissed them, "You would have graduated formally in a few weeks so your noviciate was almost at an end. Besides, the King has simply recognised that your knowledge of black magic means you are the second most qualified black magician in the whole of the Allied Lands." He laughed at the expression on her face, "Well, it's true isn't it?" and she had to agree.

She hurriedly took off the robes and stuffed them back on a peg. She wouldn't put them on again until she had to.

They spent the rest of the time before the next meal exploring the house and all the things the King had provided for them. Takan was thrilled with the kitchen, although he wasn't as pleased with the two kitchen servants he found there. Justen had a small room with a long shelf filled with books. He had already taken one or two down to look through and seemed happy with what he'd found.

Just before they went in to eat, a messenger came with a packet addressed to Akkarin. When he opened it, he found a small leather purse and a sheet of parchment. He quickly scanned the message, then opened the purse. A medallion on a long thin chain fell out on to his palm.

He held it up for Sonea to see, "The King's Magician's badge of office," he said with a flourish. "We are to present ourselves at the Palace tomorrow for a meeting with the King. We are to wear our robes."


	19. King's Magician

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**King's Magician**

Sonea stared at her image in the mirror for a long time. The loose trousers and shirt were of a very dark grey material, almost, but not quite, black. Like all of the clothing left for her, they fitted exactly. She ran her fingers over the shirt. It was made of fine lawn, with small black shiny buttons down the front and black silk embroidery around the neck and cuffs. The trousers were made of heavier material, with a thin black velvet line down each side. There were two pairs of boots, a glossy leather pair for outdoor wear and softer ones for use indoors. For the moment, she was wearing the softer pair.

Over it all, she had pulled on the robes. These were black, not grey, and reached down to the floor, covering her other garments completely. It was this last item of clothing which caused her to stare at her reflection. It was difficult to get used to being a magician again, and a qualified one at that. She pulled up the hood. She was now enclosed entirely in black, with just her pale face providing a contrast. All of a sudden she giggled. _I could be a High Lady in this get up! _Although as far as she knew there had never been a High Lady in the Guild, seeing herself dressed like one, made her desire the position, just for a moment.

She pushed down the hood and frowned at her hair. It was no longer the short curly mop she'd worn as a novice and something needed to be done to keep it tidy. She reached for a brush and worked at it until it was lying smoothly down her back. It reached almost to her shoulder blades and couldn't be left loose, as it was prone to tangling in the slightest breeze. She thought for a moment, then rapidly twisted it into a single thick plait. She borrowed one of Akkarin's leather thongs to tie off the end.

She stared at herself for a few moments longer, before turning away with a shrug. She had to wear these garments, there was no choice. _I'd better get used to them!_

She went downstairs and out into the garden, where Justen was playing. She watched him for a moment. He was sprawled full length on the grass, leaning over the edge of a small pond, watching the fish.

_Justen?_ she sent gently.

He looked up immediately and scrambled to his feet, running over and grabbing her hand. She smiled down at him, _Justen, we will be leaving in a few minutes. You will practice the little exercises while we're away, won't you?_

He nodded cheerfully. She and Akkarin had devised some simple little mental tasks for Justen to do which would help him control his magic. He enjoyed mental puzzles and had enthusiastically worked his way through the most basic already. There would be opportunities to visit Justen, she was sure, so she could work out some others and have them ready for when he needed more.

Justen looked over her shoulder and smiled. Sonea turned to find Akkarin coming out into the garden, a tall, black clad figure which brought back so many memories. He had kept his sea-captain's small beard and his long hair was tied back with a leather thong rather than the velvet ribbon he'd used before, but the overwhelming impression was that High Lord Akkarin had returned. If his appearance could make her heart beat a little faster, and her throat dry a little, what would it do to the magicians who had voted to send him to almost certain death?

"Are you ready?" he asked.

She nodded and turned to say goodbye to Justen. She kept her emotions under control and managed not to shed any tears. It wasn't as if she was going a long way away, after all. But even that thought didn't offer much comfort. Leaving her child was difficult, but her choice had been made long ago, Akkarin needed her more than her son. _Takan will look after him…_

Back in the house, Akkarin handed her a cloak. This was deep blue and covered all of her robes. Akkarin had a similar one. The King didn't want news of magicians visiting him to leak out until he was ready to reveal his plan. It didn't take long to reach the Palace. They were expected and the King's Secretary was already waiting to take them to the King. Still wrapped in their all-concealing cloaks, they were led through the Palace to the King's private study. Here they were finally able to remove the cloaks. There were refreshments laid out for them. Sonea poured some raka for herself but Akkarin wouldn't take anything. He sat down and picked up one of the books lying on a table and began to flick through it.

Sonea sipped the raka and tried to practise one of Yikmo's calming exercises. Now they were finally ready to embark on the mission to save the Guild, she was becoming increasingly nervous. What if Balkan refused to accept them? What if assassins got close to Akkarin? What if there was no place for her? Her thoughts ran out of control and kept flashing through her mind ceaselessly until she wanted to scream. She forced herself to remain calm, sipping the raka in the hope that the beverage would have its usual effect on her nerves.

The door opened and Merin came in. He was dressed in his Court finery, so unlike the rather ordinary figure she had met at the hunting lodge. She and Akkarin bowed, his made with his usual grace, while hers felt awkward. _I'm not meant for close associations with royalty,_ she thought ruefully. _It's bad enough being a Guild magician with all their rules and regulations!_

"I have arranged for the High Lord to have an audience with me this morning," Merin said brusquely. "He will be here shortly. I want you to wait outside until I have explained about my right to have a King's Magician in the Guild….."

"He doesn't know?" Sonea interrupted, her voice giving away the degree of surprise she felt.

Merin stared at her frostily, "Not yet."

He turned his attention back to Akkarin, "As I was saying, you will wait until I send for you. You," he looked at Sonea, "will not be part of the meeting. You may wait in the gallery where you can see and hear what goes on, but you will not, under the pain of my greatest displeasure, make any sound or give any sign you are there. Is that clear?"

She felt the hot colour flood her face as she murmured agreement. Another black mark against her as far as the King was concerned. She was only here on sufferance and she must avoid at any cost the risk of being sent away.

A page showed her to the gallery. It was a wide balcony running the width of the King's Council Chamber. There was a long table in the centre of the room, set round with carved chairs. The King's chair at the head was more ornate, almost like a throne, with padded seat and arms. As Sonea watched, a number of servants came in and out of the Chamber, setting out papers as well as putting jugs of water and fruit juice on the table. Then, as quickly and as quietly as they'd arrived, they all vanished, leaving the room empty.

Sonea was sitting on a stool, in the corner of the gallery, partially hidden from sight by a large hanging. She had a good view of the room and was sure of hearing any discussion. Before long, the double doors were flung open and she saw High Lord Balkan in his unfamiliar white robes stalk into the room. He was accompanied by Osen, in the blue robes of the Administrator. She hadn't seen him before dressed in what she still regarded as Lorlen's colour. She was in two minds about Osen, he had tried to be kind to her during the journey to the border, urging her to remain in the Guild, but she was unhappy with the alacrity with which he had taken Lorlen's position.

She watched as Balkan grumbled a little about the lack of the sweet white wine he favoured and Osen rushed to fill his glass with juice. They sat down next to each other to the right of the King's chair. Balkan had aged since she had seen him last. His complexion had a yellow tinge and his hair was thinner than she remembered. Although magicians didn't age as quickly as ordinary people, Balkan hadn't seemed to benefit from this advantage. She supposed that trying to run the Guild had taken its toll.

Suddenly the double doors opened, and Merin walked in. Both magicians leapt to their feet and bowed. The King waved them to their seats as he took his place. He was carrying a bundle of papers which he placed carefully down in front of him. After a few moments of social small talk, the King cleared his throat.

"I particularly wanted to see you, High Lord, to discuss my ancient right to nominate a King's Magician to the ruling Council of the Guild."

"King's Magician, Your Majesty?" Balkan asked quickly, "I don't think I quite understand."

Merin passed him a parchment and gave the explanation he had previously offered to Akkarin, pointing out the ancient law had never been repealed or challenged and therefore his right to have his own Magician still applied. Balkan's pasty complexion had taken on a reddish tinge and he looked towards his Administrator for help.

Osen examined the paper carefully, then looked up, "It seems perfectly in order, High Lord."

"Did you know of this law, Administrator?"

"I have never seen it before, High Lord, but the seal affixed to it is genuine. The document is old and fragile in places. There can be no doubts about its authenticity."

Balkan started to speak, but Osen carried on, "However, that is not to say that the law has not been overturned in the hundreds of years which have passed since then."

The King held up his hand, stopping the conversation between the magicians.

"My Legal Advisor, together with my Archivist, examined all the documents relating to the Guild and its operations since the time of its foundation to the present day. That law has never been rescinded. Given the concerns raised in our earlier meetings regarding the Guild, together with the reports from our spies in Sachaka, I have decided it is time for me to nominate a King's Magician once more. This will enable me to understand more clearly the situation you are dealing with, High Lord. Have no fear, my Magician will not usurp your rights as leader, he will simply carry out the tasks I shall give him and you will be fully informed of what he is doing."

"Then you have someone in mind, Your Majesty?" Balkan's voice was quiet and although his face appeared calm, Sonea could see the tell-tale signs of a man furious at what he had heard and desperate not to show it.

Merin smiled, a cool, calculating smile, "Yes, I do."

He reached out and rang a small bell. Sonea could see that there was mental communication passing between the magicians, but they were on a very narrow concentrated beam and she could only hear vague murmurings and couldn't distinguish any words at all. However, she could imagine what they were saying and it wouldn't be pleasant. _Just wait_, she thought with some amusement, _until you see who it is!_

The door opened and a familiar black-clad figure came into the room. There was an audible gasp from Osen and he made an involuntary movement as if to rise, but just stopped himself in time. Balkan, on the other hand, remained perfectly still, only the whiteness of his face and the tightness of his lips revealing anything of his inner thoughts.

"Lord Akkarin of family Delvon, House Velan, King's Magician," the King announced formally.

"High Lord, Administrator," Akkarin said and bowed, before making his way to the seat on the left-hand side of the King.


	20. A Small Act of Revenge

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**A Small Act of Revenge**

Balkan ignored Akkarin's greeting, and instead turned to the King. "I must protest at the selection, as your representative, of someone who has been convicted of a most serious crime and expelled from Guild." Balkan's voice was flat and cold, but Sonea could hear the underlying strain as he tried to keep it under control. "This man is no longer a Guild Magician."

The King made no reply, but reached over to his pile of documents and extracted one which he passed to the High Lord, "I believe this pardon solves that problem, Lord Balkan."

Balkan glanced down at the document, then quickly passed it to Osen, "Is this valid?" he asked tersely, pointedly ignoring the King.

The Administrator, read through the document carefully, before answering, "I believe the King has the power to pardon a magician convicted by the Guild," he said slowly shifting uneasily in his seat as Balkan glared at him, "although I cannot recall for the moment when something like this was last done. I would have to check the Guild's records."

"Well" asked the King icily, "are you satisfied I am acting within the law?" His eyes had narrowed and a quickly suppressed expression of anger had crossed his face at Balkan's thoughtless question, but the High Lord had missed the King's displeasure.

Balkan cleared his throat, "It seems you do have this power, Your Majesty," he said in a somewhat patronising tone, "but I strongly urge you to find another to act as your Magician. Akkarin is a controversial figure at best and a divisive destroyer of Guild harmony at worst. I cannot see how his reintroduction will help solve anything. In fact, it will create more problems than it can solve."

The King was about to speak, and from his expression, not too kindly to the High Lord, when he was interrupted.

"I shall not impinge on your authority as High Lord," Akkarin said calmly. "My duties will be as the King directs."

Again, Balkan ignored Akkarin; instead he addressed the King. "What duties will your Magician carry out?"

"It seems to me that the necessity of learning about previously forbidden magic, as originally put forward by Lord Akkarin at his Hearing, has been strongly made. As predicted by him, the Ichani did attack and tried to capture the Guild. They were only defeated though the actions of Lord Akkarin who returned to defend both the Guild and the City."

The King held up his hand as Balkan tried to protest at his description of Akkarin as the saviour of the Guild.

"No, High Lord, we cannot avoid the truth. Your Warriors could not stop the Ichani, despite the heroic little story the Guild took pains to spread in the aftermath. No, it was Akkarin and his companion who succeeded in destroying the Ichani. Only they had the skills that enabled them to fight fire with fire. Only they understood black magic sufficiently well to prevent the destruction of the Guild. You will notice that Lord Akkarin wears black. As this colour is no longer associated with the High Lords after your decision to change to white, I have decided that it shall instead represent a new, if small, Discipline. If the Guild itself won't consider the use of black magic to defend the country, I will. I intend Lord Akkarin to be the King's Black Magician."

Sonea caught a sudden sense of Akkarin's surprise. Whatever he had thought about going back to the Guild, heading a Discipline created and controlled by the King rather than the Higher Magicians was not what he had considered. She pondered the King's plan for a moment. Yes, it could turn out to be a masterstroke. She had always had the impression that Merin was somewhat lacking in confidence and as a result, was widely regarded as being strongly influenced by others. It seemed as if the seven years of Akkarin's absence, together with all the other problems he had had to deal with, had somehow turned Merin into a real King at last.

Balkan's face became even paler as he stared at the King. "You have decided to create a new Discipline?" he asked, his tone conveying his deep shock. "This is unheard of, Your Majesty. It is the magicians who run the Guild, and it is they who decide on the Disciplines."

Merin sighed, "Look Lord Balkan, don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be. Rest assured I have thoroughly investigated what my powers are in relation to the Guild. Despite the fact that my predecessors have not chosen to become deeply involved, nevertheless, the Crown has widespread and significant powers in relation to the Guild, should it be necessary to use them."

"I have concluded that it is now necessary that I exercise my powers to appoint a King's Magician, and, at the same time, to create a new Discipline to which my Magician will belong. There is still a threat from the Ichani and what happened during the previous attempt proves that Lord Akkarin was right in his assessment, and right in the methods he chose to counter that threat. I wish him to prepare the Guild so that when another attack comes, the Guild as a whole can respond properly."

"My actions also relieve the Guild of having to make a decision about who should or should not learn black magic. I am sure you have realised by now, that without that particular skill, it would be almost impossible to defeat the Ichani. Now you no longer have to worry about that part. You have a fully functioning black magician who can prepare the Guild to face its most dangerous enemy."

There was a pause as Balkan stared at his Administrator. Sonea realised they were discussing matters between them, but she could not pick up any of their mental conversation. After a moment, Balkan again regarded the King, a credible attempt at a smile on his lips.

"Of course, Your Majesty. There has always been total cooperation between the Guild and the Crown throughout the centuries; I was merely surprised by your request, that's all. Lord Akkarin is welcome to return to the Guild, now that he had been officially pardoned."

"There is, of course, my companion to consider," Akkarin said quietly.

"Companion?" Osen queried.

_Sonea, come down here, _Akkarin sent.

_But, the King said…_…she started to reply, only to be interrupted by Akkarin's order.

_Down here now!_

She hurried to obey, all but running down the steps and along the corridor. She knocked briefly at the door and entered, putting a stop to the conversation that had obviously been going on.

"My companion," Akkarin announced.

_Be kind_, he sent with a mental smile, _they have had a lot of surprises today._

She advanced into the room, bowing firstly to the King who did not look at all pleased to see her, then, somewhat reluctantly, to the High Lord. As she did so, she remembered her defiance at their last meeting when she had refused to acknowledge Balkan's new status at all. A quick glance at his face, showed that Balkan too was remembering, and from his expression, none too fondly.

"Am I to understand that Your Majesty has appointed two King's Magicians?" Balkan asked sharply.

The King shook his head, "No, Lady Sonea has also been pardoned and therefore regains her membership of the Guild. The question I had to consider was her status. At the time of her Hearing, she had almost completed her noviciate. She had also mastered black magic, therefore it seemed sensible that she be regarded as a qualified magician, and a member of the Discipline headed by my Black Magician, Lord Akkarin." He smiled suddenly, "It will be a small Discipline; it has only two members and is unlikely to grow any larger, certainly for the moment."

Sonea shot him a sharp glance, '…_only two members….for the moment'_. Did the King intend for the study of black magic to become more widespread in the Guild? She wondered how that would work and who would want to learn what everyone believed was forbidden magic. She was beginning to think that the King had plans he hadn't shared with them.

Again, there was a pause while Balkan and Osen discussed the matter. Sonea noticed that the King had some difficulty concealing his annoyance at the blatant use of mental communication. She knew it was not considered proper behaviour when in the presence of non-magicians and perhaps the fact that Balkan was ignoring the convention indicated his dismay at the King's actions. Such an attitude would not have been part of the old Balkan she remembered from before her Hearing. Things must be going very badly for him for him to lose such control.

"It would seem a sensible decision, Your Majesty," Balkan replied eventually. She could see he didn't like saying it as his mouth looked as if he had tasted something terribly sour.

"Good!" Merin sounded cheerful as he stood up, "I expect you have some matters to discuss with Lord Akkarin. I will leave you to get on with it." He turned to Akkarin, "Come and see me before you leave. I have further instructions for you."

After Merin had left, Sonea slipped into the seat next to Akkarin. She looked across at Balkan and Osen. She could see that the High Lord was still furious over what had happened. His complexion was pale, but there were two angry spots of colour on his cheeks. He shuffled the papers in front of him, while he considered what to say next. Meanwhile Osen was staring across the table at her, as if he couldn't quite believe his eyes. He saw her look at him and unexpectedly he smiled.

"I'm pleased to see you again, Sonea," he said. "I never thought I would have the opportunity again."

She smiled back at him, remembering how he had tried to persuade her to stay rather than follow Akkarin into exile. "It's nice to see you too, Osen."

"If you have finished greeting old friends, Administrator…." Balkan said sharply, "we have things to discuss."

Osen coloured and turned his gaze towards his High Lord, " Of course, High Lord. Firstly, we must arrange accommodation for…err….the King's Magician and his companion."

Sonea smiled inwardly at the difficultly Osen had in saying their names. She supposed there would be many in the Guild who felt the same way.

"Yes, Administrator, the accommodation," Balkan turned his gaze towards Akkarin, "You have married your companion?"

"No."

Sonea saw a hint of a smile appear briefly on Balkan's face, "Then that will affect the accommodation we arrange for both of you. You cannot, of course, share rooms as an unmarried couple. Administrator, ensure you find two separate apartments on different floors of the Magicians' Quarters, we want no scandal. I suggest that Lord Akkarin would be best suited on the top floor, most of it is vacant, I believe, so he will have no one to disturb him. I am sure you will be able to squeeze Lady Sonea in somewhere else."

Despite her anger, Sonea made sure her face remained expressionless, but inside she was seething. _So petty_, she thought. She wondered if going back to the Guild was going to be as simple as Akkarin and the King thought. They had not, perhaps, given enough consideration to the long-term effects which flowed from the revelations made at their Hearing. For many, they would still be criminals and returning under the King's protection would perhaps reinforce the splits in the Guild, rather than heal them.

"Thank you for your consideration," Akkarin said calmly. "My companion and I are grateful."

Balkan stared at his former leader. Sonea could see that he was nonplussed by Akkarin's reactions and this made him uncertain. She wanted to send an urgent warning to her lover. She was afraid of Balkan. Akkarin probably only thought of him as the former Head of the Warriors, a loyal subordinate, but she had seen another side of him during her time as a prisoner. Balkan had been unpleasant then and now, with things at the Guild not going well for him, his grip on his temper was probably less than certain. He reminded her of a cornered sevli, ready to spit its venom at anyone who ventured within range.

The High Lord got to his feet and stared down at Akkarin, ". I need time to prepare for your reception. You will present yourself at the Guild in two days. I shall make arrangements for someone to meet you and conduct you to the Hall."

Akkarin remained seated, but inclined his head in acknowledgement of the High Lord's order. "We will be there."

"Come, Administrator!" Balkan commanded and the two magicians swept from the room, only the exaggerated rustle of the High Lord's robes betraying a hint of frayed nerves.

"Well," said Sonea, struggling to keep the amusement from her voice, "I've never seen a Higher Magician flounce out like that before, let alone two." However, she quickly sobered, "You must be wary of Balkan, Akkarin. I don't trust him to deal fairly with us."

"He's bound to be upset. The King sending in his own Magician is rather like a weak and feeble student being offered a mentor to improve his learning. He would be a poor High Lord if he didn't resent what he sees as meddling, I would have done."

"You were never a weak High Lord," Sonea said loyally. "The King had no need to worry about your leadership of the Guild."

Akkarin smiled sadly, "You think too well of me as always, Sonea. I made many mistakes during my time. You mustn't remember that the trouble the Guild finds itself in is my fault."

It was an argument they'd had before and she knew that it was pointless trying to turn Akkarin from the view that he was to blame. She turned the conversation instead towards much pleasanter things.

"We have some extra time before we have to leave Justen, more time together, alone, before we are parted."

Akkarin laughed, "You forget, Sonea, the passages which honeycomb the Guild. We will still be able to spend time together despite Balkan's intent!"

She had forgotten! All those secret passages which could take someone familiar with them almost anywhere in the Guild; all those passages which Akkarin knew so well and which she had started to learn! Relief flooded through her. She had been worried about her self-appointed mission to protect Akkarin and how she was to carry it out if they were living some distance from each other. There were other reasons too, she had to acknowledge, why being separated worried her…

"Come," Akkarin said, "we mustn't forget the King wishes to see us."

As they made their way back to the King's Study, Sonea felt herself grow anxious. What new thing had the King come up with and how dangerous would it be?


	21. Re-entering the Guild

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Re-entering the Guild**

Sonea kept her eyes firmly on the leather thong that held Akkarin's hair in place, as she waited behind him, in the antechamber. It helped her to have a focus she could concentrate on. It stopped her thinking about all the things which could go wrong. They had been waiting to make their entrance for some time now and she was anxious to get it all over with. Most of their day so far had been spent waiting; waiting for the time agreed to arrive at the Guild; waiting for the guide to take them to the Hall and now they had been waiting in the antechamber for almost an hour.

She could hear Balkan's voice echo through the great Hall as he told the assembled magicians about the King's surprising decision to appoint his own Magician. The High Lord was listened to in silence, but she could almost taste the suppressed emotions leaking from his audience. The atmosphere was electric and she was aware of her nerves jangling.

As yet, Balkan hadn't revealed the name of the new Higher Magician. Sonea's lips and mouth were dry as she waited for his audience's reaction. She told herself it was silly to feel so much tension. The King had the power and he had acted. There was nothing the High Lord, the Higher Magicians and the rest of the Guild could do about it. Akkarin had been appointed and in a few minutes, he would take the long walk down the central aisle of the Hall towards the place before the High Lord's lofty position and make his formal bow. As agreed, she would follow directly behind him, already having decided she would look only at the leather thong, and not right or left at the assembled magicians.

There was a buzz of anticipation coming now from the assembly. She could hear it rise and fall as Balkan's voice died away. _Now it comes_, she thought. _He's going to reveal the name._

"…Lord Akkarin….' she heard Balkan say. Almost immediately there was a sound like rushing wind through leafy trees, which spread around the Hall before dying quickly away as his name was whispered by hundreds of voices. At the same time, Sonea was assaulted by the noise of countless mental communications, too many to distinguish the individual messages, but a sustained noise nevertheless. She tried in vain to filter them out.

As soon as he heard his name, Akkarin moved forward with his familiar graceful stride and she made haste to follow. They moved at a steady pace down the main aisle. Akkarin's stride was noiseless, as usual, but she could hear the faint slap of her own boots as they hit the stone floor. Now there was absolute silence in the Hall. The noise of the mental communications had died down to a mere whisper. Sonea caught a few words as she passed. _Akkarin! Exile! Criminal! Forbidden! _but she ignored them, concentrating only on what was directly in front of her. She became aware that Akkarin had come to a halt, as he reached the pre-determined spot. He made his formal bow, "High Lord," he said, his voice ringing out in the old familiar way around the Hall. He stepped to one side and now it was her turn.

Sonea moved into position and bowed, not quite as deeply as Akkarin for she hadn't yet forgiven Balkan. "High Lord," she said quietly as if the softness of her words denied Balkan his official position. Then, like Akkarin, she turned to face the assembled magicians.

She was conscious of being the focus of hundreds of pairs of eyes. She couldn't help but notice that some of the stares were hostile, others wary, and in amongst them, the occasional neutral or even friendly glance. It was impossible to recognise anyone in particular. It had been a long time since she had sat in class with her fellow novices and as it had been a largely unhappy experience, she hadn't bothered to keep their faces in her memory. She did notice some of her former teachers. She looked for, but didn't find, Rothen among the assembly.

The memory of the last time she had faced assembled magicians in this Hall flooded into her mind, especially the tearing of her robes as each magician murmured the ritual words of banishment. What did they feel now? Now that she and Akkarin had returned? Somehow, the reality of being back in the Guild was quite different from her original thoughts. Then she had dreamed of working with Akkarin to heal divisions and make the Guild whole again, but now, she almost wished that Akkarin had decided not to return and they could have gone on living their life in the mountains. At least there, the only thing to worry her was the lack of another child.

"You have heard the High Lord explain the purpose of a King's Magician," She started at the sound of Akkarin's voice as it filled the Hall. "My particular role will be to strengthen the Guild's defences against attack by foreign black magicians. These are my instructions from the King. My former Novice, Lady Sonea, will assist me. We two will be the Guild's only black magicians and our purpose is not to seek others to study this form of magic, but only to prepare the Guild to defeat any potential attack from Sachaka."

Akkarin fell silent but continued to stare ahead at the assembled magicians. Sonea was conscious of increased mental communication as his words were considered. She deliberately tried not to hear particular words, but it was difficult, as some magicians seemed almost to be shouting.

"Thank you, Lord Akkarin," Balkan's voice sounded from above. "This assembly is at an end. Return to your work. You will be contacted if Lord Akkarin requires your assistance."

She heard the sound of the High Lord moving out of his seat and retreating down the stairs behind his box. She looked across at Akkarin, _What do we do now?_ she sent very quietly.

_Wait until the Hall is clear_, came the response.

So they continued to stand, facing the Hall. As some of the magicians passed in front of them, Sonea caught some of their mental communications quite clearly. She was a little shocked, but not surprised at the words chosen to describe her and her relationship with Akkarin. _Thank goodness they don't know about Justen_, she thought. _It would only confirm their worst suspicions_.

"Hello Sonea," said a cheerful voice and she found herself looking at Lorlen in his Healer's green robes, still unfamiliar to her at first glance. "Have they given you quarters yet?"

She nodded, "But we haven't seen them, someone is going to take us there after this is all over."

"Let me know where you will be and I'll come and see you," Lorlen replied. "I might even remember a welcome home gift!"

Once the Hall was empty of magicians, a Warrior came to show them where they would be staying. Sonea didn't recognise him, but Akkarin seemed to know him as they exchanged a few words on the walk to the Magicians' Quarters. There were curious glances from people they passed, but no one made any attempt to speak with them.

Sonea was unfamiliar with the Magicians' Quarters. She had previously lived for a short time in the Novices' Quarters, but most of her time had been spent living at the Residence. The building they now entered was large and spread over four floors.

"I'll conduct Lord Akkarin to his apartment first," the Warrior said. "Wait here."

But Sonea was not going to allow herself to be dismissed that easily, "No I'll come too, I'll need to know where Lord Akkarin will be living in case I need to contact him."

The Warrior shot her a strange look, then, surprisingly, he winked at her, "Of course, Lady Sonea," he said knowingly.

She felt the colour creep up her face, and willed herself to stay impassive. She guessed there would be a lot of similar comments over the next few weeks until everyone got used to them again. For the first time, she thought about Akkarin's offer of marriage. _Should I have agreed? But I thought it would damage him to have a dwell for a wife, especially as he could have had a Princess! _Immediately that thought entered her mind, she dismissed it. _It was your stupid pride, that's what it really was!_ she thought angrily. _All the years of living together and he hadn't mentioned it!_ _It was only after Merin tried to marry him off to his cousin that he even considered it. Almost as if his hand had been forced. I couldn't accept him on those terms!_

But, she had to admit to herself, if would have been so much easier if they were married. No separate quarters for a start and she could be with him all day and all night without comment. She sighed, it was all too late and separate quarters would have to be dealt with.

The Warrior took them to the top floor, then marched down a long corridor until they reached the end. There she saw a door and a neat card next to it with Akkarin's name on it. The Warrior opened the door and gestured for them to enter.

Sonea stopped just inside the doorway. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but this wasn't it. She remembered the fine furniture and paintings in the Residence, all belonging to Akkarin, not the Guild, and wondered where they had gone. This apartment was shabbily furnished with a mixture of pieces of different styles and colours. The curtains were drab, the carpet plain and dark, and there were no paintings or anything to relieve the shabbiness.

She was about to speak, when Akkarin sent, _Say nothing_.

"Thank you," he said to the Warrior, "If you would show Lady Sonea to her quarters now, then we needn't detain you further."

The Warrior nodded and beckoned Sonea. She followed after him down three flights of stairs and then down a long corridor to the opposite end of the building from where Akkarin was. This time, the white card had her name on it. The Warrior pushed open the door and stood back to let her enter. This time there was no surprise. Her apartment was a twin of Akkarin's even down to the muddy brown carpet and drab curtains.

She thanked the Warrior, shut the door and set a lock. She stared at the room, it was of a reasonable size, but it would have to double as a guest area, as well as her own work space, because the bedchamber, when she found it, proved to be very small, with only room for a single bed, and a cupboard for storing clothes. There was a curtained alcove off the bedchamber which held a washstand, a basin and a jug.

She felt the bed. It was hard and covered by worn, but clean sheets and blankets. There was a single pillow which, although thin, appeared reasonably soft. She opened the cupboard and found her spare clothing already stuffed inside. There was nothing else of hers in the rooms.

She slumped down on the bed, more convinced than ever that they had made the wrong decision. There would be nothing from Balkan beyond what he was forced to give by the terms of the agreement with the King. If she wished to visit Akkarin, or he come to her rooms, crowded corridors and stairs would need to be negotiated and she could readily imagine the comments and half-stifled laughter behind their backs. Then there was the Food Hall, that would be another less than pleasant experience to look forward to.

After a few moments of feeling very sorry for herself, Sonea gave a mental shake. This would not do! She had a job to do, supporting Akkarin. There was no time to indulge in the luxury of self-pity. She needed to discuss things with Akkarin now. She got up and tidied herself. A quick glance in the mirror over the washbasin assured her she looked fine.

Once out in the corridor, she set the lock then moved purposefully towards the stairs. She only passed one or two magicians and they decided to ignore her presence. It was a different story on the stairs, though. The first group she ran into included the bane of her existence as a novice, Regin. He was dressed in Warrior's red and had filled out into a tall, muscular man some might have considered good-looking. As soon as he caught sight of her, he stopped dead, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"Well, well," he said in that irritating drawl she remembered, "Look who's moved in. It's that dwell girl with ideas above her station."

He looked round at his friends, feigning confusion, "Now what was her name again?"

His friends tittered, but Sonea found herself growing angry, "I see your manners haven't improved, Regin!" she said tartly, "I'd have thought you'd have grown up a bit by now, but then, they do say that boys take longer to become adults than girls."

The smile faded from his face as he reached out to tightly clasp her wrist, jerking her towards him. Before he could speak again, Sonea said in a loud voice, "I think you are forgetting I am a black magician, Regin." She allowed a cold smile to hover on her lips before continuing, "I can do things you can only dream of. I advise you to take your hands off me and go on your way!"

His face went still and he hastily dropped her wrist. He stared at her for a moment, before turning to his friends and laughing loudly, "Some people just can't take a joke." She watched as he gathered his friends around him and they disappeared from view.

"Oh well done," said a quiet little voice from beside her. She turned and saw a rather pretty Healer smiling at her. "He's always making fun of those of us who live near him. I'm Irun, by the way."

"Sonea," she replied and held out her hand.

"Yes, I know," said Irun. "I heard a lot about you when I was a novice. I came the year after you left but there has always been a lot of speculation over what happened to you and…err…the other one."

Sonea smiled inwardly at Irun's difficulty at speaking Akkarin's name. She was pleased that there was someone in the Magician's Quarters who was not hostile to her. It occurred to her that she could do with a friend. It might allow her to hear what was going on without having to ask direct questions of people.

"Perhaps we could have tea sometime," Sonea said, "I can't stop now, but perhaps in the next day or so."

Irun smiled her agreement, "I'd like that very much," she said softly. "I live on the same corridor as you, about halfway down. Regin is three doors down from me."

Sonea thanked her for the information and turned to continue her long walk to Akkarin's rooms.


	22. Eavesdropping

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Eavesdropping**

Sonea made a conscious decision not to look at any of the magicians she passed on her way to Akkarin's rooms. It was too early in her new role and she had no way of knowing how they would react. She didn't want to run into some of her previous tormenters or even those who had not been overtly hostile. She kept her eyes fixed firmly on the floor, not attempting to meet anyone's gaze and only making quick upward glances when she needed to change direction. People were coming back from their mid-day meal, so the building was crowded. Sonea breathed a sigh of relief when she finally reached Akkarin's corridor. It was much quieter there.

When she arrived outside his rooms, she tapped softly on the door. Akkarin didn't answer or release the lock straight away and while she was waiting, she looked at the other doors. It seemed that Akkarin had no immediate neighbours, the first occupied rooms were several doors down the corridor. She wished that it was the same on her corridor, but there every apartment was occupied with the potential for constantly running into people every time she left her accommodation. _They could have put me up here! _she grumbled to herself, _there's plenty of room. How pathetic of Balkan!_

Simultaneously with the release of the lock, she heard Akkarin's _Come in Sonea_ and the door opened. She went in. Akkarin wasn't in the main room, but in the time since she had last been there, he had made some changes to it. He had rearranged the furniture to create a more spacious feel to the room. He had pulled a couple of the chairs over to the fireplace where a cheerful fire was now burning. She saw there were one or two things she recognised from his study at the Residence dotted about_. Now how did he manage to get hold of them?_

Sonea also noticed that some of his books had appeared on the shelves. As he had not carried them with him into Imardin, she was at a loss to explain their presence. Just as she was about to call out her question, Akkarin emerged from the bedchamber. He had discarded his robes and was simply dressed in trousers and shirt. She found this both familiar and comforting. If she just closed her eyes….

"How is your accommodation?" Akkarin asked intruding on her rather nice thoughts.

"About the same as yours, not very inspiring," she replied with a smile, "but I see you've already made some changes. Where did those books come from?"

"Merin can be very obliging when he wants something," he grinned and picked up a large book, flicking the pages and breathing deeply. "Newly purchased, if I'm not mistaken."

Akkarin reached over to a shelf and pulled out a heavy leather bag. She could tell by the noise it made it was full of coins. He tugged it open and spilled some of the contents on to the table. Sonea could see the gleam of gold among the silver and copper coins.

"My recompense for being the King's Magician," Akkarin said. "We should be able to buy what we need to make life a bit easier. We can also see if we can find some of my other things from the Residence." She must have looked puzzled for he added, "The passages, we must check and see if any have been discovered."

She sighed. She had completely forgotten about the passages they had used to move around the Guild unseen. It had only been seven years, but already she was feeling it was more like a lifetime ago when she had lived in the Residence.

"Are there passages associated with this building?" she asked.

"Yes, there is an entrance right at the back of the cellars. It's possible, though, that Balkan has discovered them and blocked them. We will look tonight. I'm hoping that Balkan hasn't discovered all my secrets! Now, are you hungry?"

She nodded reluctantly because she knew where he was going with that question.

"Good, then I suggest we go to the Food Hall and have a meal." She must have pulled a face, because he went on, "We will have to go sooner or later and it's better to get it over with because the longer we leave it, the worse it will get."

In the event, it wasn't as bad as she had feared. It was later in the day, and the main rush of hungry magicians was long over. They got some strange glances from a few of the magicians they passed, but many simply turned away so their journey to the Food Hall passed without incident. As soon as they walked in, though, conversation abruptly ceased as they walked past the tables, only to start up again as soon as they passed by.

Sonea noticed Regin at one of the tables, surrounded by his friends, all of whom stared at them in silence, watching their every move as they joined the queue for the serving table, collected their meal, and found a somewhere to sit. She could still see Regin's group out of the corner of her eye and she noticed he was regaling them with some story. His face was animated as he gestured to reinforce a point. Every so often, he would look over at her, smiling a little, before going on with his tale.

She looked down at the food. It was some sort of stew, with a few vegetables added. It tasted no better than it looked, but it was the only meal available. She had forgotten about the ordinary food in the Guild. When she had first joined, the food tasted so much better than what she was used to in the city. Later, in the Residence, she had become used to Takan's much higher standards. The meal in front of her now didn't inspire her appetite, but she had to keep up her strength. She began to eat, trying not to notice the stringiness of the meat, or the thinness of the watery gravy.

"What do you intend to do to start with?" she asked when she'd finished as much as she could bear.

Akkarin mopped up the last of the stew with some bread and pushed his plate aside. "I need to arrange a meeting with some of the leading Warriors. If the Guild is to be ready and able to face an Ichani attack, then the Warriors need to know how best to fight them. They won't be very happy, but I have to convince them to change their tactics quite dramatically."

"Good," she said, looking forward to some Warrior training, but she was to be disappointed.

"I need to do this alone, Sonea, Warrior to Warrior. It won't do to have you tagging along with me." She opened her mouth to argue, but he forestalled her, "I won't discuss this. It is my decision to make."

The tone and firmness of his words reminded her forcibly of Akkarin at his High Lord best. It would do her no good to argue. "What am I to do then?" she asked.

She had told him earlier about her encounter with Irun and he reminded her how useful a sympathetic young magician could be. "It would be a great help if you could try to discover what the general mood is among the younger magicians. Your friend Irun sounds like a good place to start. I suggest you call on her as soon as you can."

For a moment, she felt she was being palmed off with a make-task, something to keep her occupied while he got on with the real job, but she choked off the feeling. It was only their first day, and there was little point in getting upset so early. _After all_, she conceded to herself, _it is true we need to know how the magicians feel about things in the Guild. Otherwise how could we put matters right? _But still, the part of her which craved action was disappointed. Her further musings were cut short by the sound of a familiar voice.

"So you haven't forgotten your way to the Food Hall, then?"

It was Lorlen, a welcoming smile on his face. He stood close to their table and looked meaningfully at the vacant chair beside them. Before she could stop herself, she'd pulled out the chair and asked him to sit down.

"No, we just followed the delightful smells!" she laughed, glad of an excuse to be cheerful.

Lorlen asked after their accommodation and made a note of where their rooms were located. He promised to call on them soon, and they fell to discussing a few inconsequential things, but it soon became obvious that Akkarin was anxious to be away. Lorlen stood up and promised to meet up with them later in the day.

After he'd gone, Sonea frowned at Akkarin, "That wasn't very friendly of you," she said, "Lorlen would be keen to help us, I think, and we could do with some allies."

What could only be described as Akkarin's patient look crossed his features, "Lorlen's position here is difficult enough without involving him in our affairs," he said in such a calm patient voice Sonea was tempted to hurl the dregs of her teacup at him. "We can be pleasant and exchange a few words when we meet, but I don't want him drawn in. When we leave, he has to remain here. There's no escape for him and he will suffer the consequences of what we do. His only protection is to be seen to be detached from us."

Sonea wanted to disagree, but she could see what Akkarin meant. She noted his remark about leaving the Guild. _So he had no plans to remain?_ That surprised her. She had thought he would be drawn in again to the idea of power and influence. Indeed, that had been one of his arguments against returning. The fact that he had finally agreed had convinced her he intended once again to seek his future as a leading member of the Guild.

Later, back in Akkarin's rooms, he gave her some of the coins, telling her to go into Imardin on Freeday to purchase what she needed. As he talked, she began to realise that it would be more difficult than she'd imagined to watch his back. He had plans to meet with different groups of people and she was not included. He talked of her visiting Justen, but of his own plans to see his son, he said nothing. The more she questioned, the more he talked of the importance of finding out what magicians really thought and how she could help with that.

Eventually they ran out of conversation and Sonea started back to her own room. By now it was mid-afternoon and they had no plans to meet again before the evening meal. She felt at a loose end. Before, as a Novice, she had had classes to attend, work to do and a number of books to study. Now, she was part of a Discipline of two, with no immediate task except to foster a friendship with Irun.

She had never found it easy to make friends within the Guild. She could count on the fingers of one hand those she could rely on, Rothen, Dorrien, Lorlen and Akkarin. For a time, she had thought Vinara a friend, but her experiences with the Healer after her capture had changed her mind.

She turned away from her corridor and went out into the afternoon sunshine. It felt good to be outdoors, away from the claustrophobic atmosphere of the Magicians' Quarters. She looked for familiar places as she meandered slowly along, taking care not to meet the eyes of passers by.

She found her wanderings had taken her to the Library, so on an impulse she went in. The same familiar smell of old books and parchments made her think of the many times she had sought refuge here, putting off as long as possible the return to the Residence and its sinister occupant. She smiled to herself as she remembered the places she found to conceal her presence in case her guardian came looking for her. Not that he did, of course and she now suspected he knew exactly where she had been every single time.

She made her way to an old haunt, an area surrounded on three sides by book stacks and hidden from the fourth by a convenient alcove. There she had spent many an hour tucked up with a book, studying in peace. But as she neared her old refuge, she became aware that it was occupied. She was about to turn away, when, as often in such circumstances, she heard her own name amongst the quiet buzz of conversation. She stopped. She knew that voice. _Regin! What was he plotting now?_

She crept closer until she could hear more clearly. There were two of them, Regin and an unknown female voice.

"….but we have to do something," the girl said shrilly. "We can't just let the King send any criminal he likes into the Guild to do who knows what."

"He's meeting some of the senior Warriors this afternoon," Regin said, "I tried to get myself invited, but failed. He only wants certain people there." Sonea plainly heard the anger in his tone. Regin obviously didn't like being left out.

"Yes, there's to be something similar with senior Alchemists later. What's the girl up to, do you know?"

"She's probably only here to keep his bed warm," Regin said with a sneer, "She's probably had a lot of practice since they left."

"And before they went," the girl added nastily. "Fancy bringing his dwell whore back here. She always was a troublemaker. I'm sure I can deal with her, a little accident perhaps?"

"Be careful, Kelda, she's pretty strong and what with the forbidden magic too, she won't be easy to trick."

There was a moment or two of silence, before Kelda spoke again, "I was there when she challenged you, I was only a first year novice, but I thought how great you looked striding out into the middle of the Arena. She must have cheated – I've always thought so."

"Perhaps she did," Regin acknowledged. "I wanted a return contest, but she refused. Probably knew she wouldn't have been able to do it again."

There was a sort of shuffling sound, then Sonea heard the sound of noisy kisses. Then Regin murmured something too low for her to catch and Kelda giggled. There was more shuffling and giggling before they got back to their original conversation.

"The High Lord has asked all Warriors to watch Akkarin and his whore closely," Regin explained. "The Cohort Commanders have organised a rota system, so they won't notice they're being watched, but a Warrior will be close to them at all times. If you know of some trustworthy Alchemists who would do the same, I know the High Lord would be grateful."

"I certainly will, Regin. There are a lot of us who hate the idea that he's back again. They broke the rules and were punished fair and square; some even think they got off lightly. The King has no right to interfere in the Guild's own affairs."

"I'd best be getting back, Kelda," Regin said to the sound of a chair scraping back. "I'll meet you in the Night Room later and you can tell me what you've discovered."

Sonea just had time to scoot back into the alcove before Regin and Kelda emerged. She only caught a glimpse of Kelda, but she was sure she'd recognise her again. It was a good start to her investigations.


	23. Akkarin's Instructions

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Akkarin's Instructions**

Nothing seemed to have changed in the passages. They were still the gloomy, dusty, rubble-strewn-in-places things they had always been, ready to trip the unwary or cause dust to fly up into a person's mouth or nose. There was nothing particularly pleasant about the passages, but they were very useful for moving around the Guild and its grounds unseen. Akkarin was almost certainly the only person to use them extensively, knowledge of their entrances having been lost over time. He had shown her some of them and they had used them to leave the Guild and enter the city when fighting the Ichani, but Sonea didn't know their full extent. She hadn't been in this one before, but Akkarin seemed to know where he was going so she was content just to follow.

Although they had planned to use the passages on their first night, Akkarin didn't reappear at his accommodation as they had arranged. Sonea had waited for two hours and when he didn't come, she had gone back to her own room, having left him a strongly worded note. When she awoke next morning, she found a hastily scribbled apology pushed under her door, but no sign of Akkarin. Nor did she see him during the day. He wasn't in the Food Hall at mid-day so she grabbed some food, ate it quickly and left, before anyone noticed she was there. She spent the rest of the day in the library, hoping that perhaps Regin and his friend would come, but they didn't. The day dragged, as she had nothing specific to do. She had also looked for Irun, but her search had been unsuccessful. So she wasn't in the best of moods when she arrived at Akkarin's accommodation just before midnight as his note had instructed.

This time, he was there, with a smile, a glass of wine and a plateful of savouries, but little in the way of information. When she asked what he had been doing, his response was rather vague and it was obvious he didn't want to share his activities with her.

"Various meetings with different people." was all he had to say.

"How can I look out for you if I don't know where you are?" she'd asked plaintively.

He'd murmured something reassuring, telling her she would be with him, when it mattered and then quickly changed the subject.

They'd waited until the Magicians' Quarters were quiet, with no one in the corridors before making their way to the cellars. Akkarin knew where the entrance was, but it was hidden behind a pile of cases and boxes that someone had put in storage. It took a few minutes to move them, then Akkarin pressed what seemed to be random spots on a panel, and a section of the wall swung inwards. Before the door closed, he used magic to reassemble the boxes, just in case anyone decided to visit the cellars. Sonea found herself in a very narrow passage and although she was not a large woman by any means, she found it difficult to move easily.

"It's a bit of a squeeze," she whispered, "does it get any better?"

_Be quiet, Sonea_, Akkarin sent sharply, his mental voice barely audible, _the walls pass close to places where people may hear us._

After that, she concentrated on moving as silently as possible. Akkarin had made a small globelight, which shed just enough light for both of them to see where they were going. The passage sloped downwards for some time before levelling out. By then, she assumed, they were out from under the building and crossing the grounds. Every so often, they came across other passages, which branched off to left and right, but Akkarin ignored them and they kept travelling roughly in a straight line.

It was a largely silent journey and it reminded Sonea very much of their first days of exile, when she could do nothing other than follow a cold and distant Akkarin through the wastelands. Although part of her wanted to dismiss the thought, she found that difficult. Since they had returned, she had spent relatively little time alone with Akkarin, and when she did, their conversation centred on mainly practical things. There was no sense of a shared enterprise from her perspective. Akkarin didn't explain where he was going or what he was doing; merely announcing he was going somewhere. She was not invited along, but left largely to her own devices.

_But it's only our second day_, she thought in an effort to prevent her thoughts moving along such a disturbing path. _There's plenty of time for me to learn his plans. _But other less pleasant thoughts kept intruding_. He hasn't even kissed me since we've been here_.

_He's made no mention of coming to my room or me to his during the night. _

She was suddenly conscious that Akkarin had come to a halt not far away. She drew level with him, the passage being much wider at this point. They were standing in front of what looked like a blank wall.

_We're here_, he sent, _and it looks as if nothing has changed_.

He moved closer and began touching various points on the wall. At first nothing happened, then there was a faint grinding noise and the wall slid open, revealing a dark passageway with a flagstone floor and wood-panelled walls.

_The Residence_, Akkarin sent.

She followed him in and waited while he closed the entrance. There was only one direction to go, straight ahead. They started off, being careful to make no noise.

_Where are we? _she sent as quietly as she could.

_Under the kitchens_, came the response.

She had never ventured into the kitchens during her time living here, but she had a vague knowledge of the building's layout. The kitchens were large and the passage was long, but eventually they came to the end. There was another door ahead of them, with no latch, handle or lock. She felt a slight tingling sensation along the back of her neck, as Akkarin used magic to open it. It vanished. There was no other word for it. One moment the door was there, the next the opening was clear.

They slipped through and found themselves at the bottom of a flight of stairs. They quickly moved up them and at the top there was a twin to the first door. Again Akkarin used magic to make it disappear and to Sonea's surprise, they were in what had been Akkarin's private study. She looked around. Akkarin's furniture was gone and in its place was what could only be described as ordinary, plain desks and chairs. There were none of the pictures and ornaments which made Akkarin's study interesting to visit. The bookshelves, which she was used to seeing crammed with old books and parchments, were largely empty, with only a few books spread out along them.

Akkarin didn't waste time looking around, but moved purposefully towards an alcove where there was a set of sturdy shelves she remembered from their time living here. After a moment, the shelves slid to one side, revealing a cupboard, like the passage doors, without latch, lock or handle. Akkarin took only seconds to open it.

Sonea was keen to see the contents, which Akkarin obviously valued greatly, and which seemed precious to him but, as usual, he hadn't told her what they were. He was standing right in front of the open cupboard so she had to crane her neck to see. She was rather disappointed to see the contents comprised only some books, two small boxes and a larger chest. Akkarin slipped a hand beneath his robes and pulled out several bags. He shook one out and began filling it with the books. When it was full, he handed it to Sonea.

"Take this," he whispered.

She found that the straps fitted neatly around her shoulder, with the bag suspended between her body and arm. Akkarin passed her a second filled bag for the other shoulder. He had a larger bag containing the boxes which he fixed to his body so that it lay snugly against his chest. That left the last object, the chest. It had handles at each end, so he was able to carry it.

Akkarin carefully closed the cupboard, sealed it and slid the shelves back in place. They returned to the entrance above the staircase. Akkarin gestured her through, following closely behind. He paused and set down the chest, then sealed the opening, setting an extra magical lock, just in case Balkan or another sensed his recently used magic and looked for the source. He did the same at the second opening.

The journey back to the Magicians' Quarters didn't seem to take very long and they were soon back in the cellar. The boxes and cases were carefully repositioned to hide the panel. They checked them carefully to make sure they were in the exact positions they found them originally, just in case they belonged to some eagle-eyed magician.

"We'll take these to my rooms," Akkarin said softly. "Go and check to see if anyone is about."

The corridors and staircases were as empty as before, so it was only a few minutes before they were safely inside Akkarin's apartment. They emptied the bags and piled the things on the table.

"Are you going to tell me what all these are for?" Sonea asked.

"The books are some of the more sensitive black magic volumes and I must find a hiding place for them here because I'm sure Balkan will have our rooms searched. I would, in his position. The rest are just bits and pieces which may come in handy during our stay. I want to take them with me, in any case and the longer they stay in the Residence, the greater the risk that someone someday will find them and I don't want them to fall into the wrong hands."

_So no detailed information then! _Sonea gave a mental shrug, there was no point in trying to pursue it. Akkarin was in one of his less cooperative moods and she didn't want to give him any reason to lose patience with her.

"A glass of wine?" she asked and smiled prettily as he nodded. Perhaps there were better things to spend their time on than arguing she thought to herself. She poured two generous glasses of wine and took them over to the fireside. Setting herself down in one, she encouraged Akkarin to take the other. They sipped their wine in silence for a few minutes, then she began to tell him about the conversation she had heard between Regin and Kelda.

"So it seems we are to be watched," she said after reaching the end of her tale. "Warriors definitely and some Alchemists if Kelda has her way. Have you noticed any of them?"

Akkarin shook his head, "Not really, I can be discreet in my movements if I need to be. For the moment, it doesn't matter if I'm seen meeting certain people. It's what I've been asked to do, after all."

"Aren't you concerned?" Her voice gave away her surprise at his reaction.

"No, I've told you I can be discreet when I need to be. That's all that matters."

"Well, I don't like it and will do all I can to evade any watchers," she said firmly. "I'll keep an eye on Regin and his little friend too. I don't like the sound of what I overheard. I'm sure Regin will be part of any opposition group. If I keep close to him, I'll soon find out who the others are."

"Sonea, I don't want you to get anywhere near Regin," he replied quickly. "You are not to put yourself at risk and you will certainly do so if you are discovered spying on Regin or any of his friends."

Sonea couldn't quite believe her ears, "Not keep an eye on Regin?" she spluttered, "Not when he's obviously going to try to find out what you're doing? Not when he'll do anything to stop you?"

"I don't want you to get involved with him or his friends. Is that clear, Sonea?"

She stared at him, but he was wearing his cold mask and she couldn't tell what was going on behind it. She tried to catch a glimpse of his surface thoughts, but he easily evaded her gentle probe.

"Sonea…." he said again warningly, "you will do what I say and stay away from them. Your task is to cultivate people like that Irun and find out what they think, not to blunder in to situations where you could end up in serious trouble."

She was conscious that her mouth had dropped open during this unwelcome speech and shut it abruptly. How dare Akkarin talk to her as if she was a first year novice who had made a mess of her first magic lessons! How dare he suggest she was only good enough to talk to little Healers!

She stood up and carefully placed her glass down on the table.

"Yes, I do see, Akkarin," she said meekly. "I'll look out for Irun tomorrow and find out what I can. It's late, I'd better go back to my room and try to get some sleep."

Akkarin rose lightly to his feet, a warm smile on his face. He came over and put his arms around her. She felt her treacherous body press up against him, as her arms took on a life of their own and held him close. For a split second, she abandoned her anger and wished instead for a long night of lovemaking, then reality broke in and she remembered what he'd said.

Akkarin tilted her head and kissed her, his mouth covering her own as his tongue explored her lips. She responded, then pulled back slightly.

"I must go," she whispered with only partially feigned reluctance. "I'm so tired…..'

"Of course," he said, his arms releasing her. He smiled into her face and traced the shape of her mouth with one long, elegant finger. "I'll meet you for breakfast. Don't be late."


	24. Friends, Old and New

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Friends, Old and New**

All the way back to her rooms, Sonea was in two minds. She was still angry at what she saw as Akkarin's insistence she stay in the shadows, leaving him to do all the important work, but in spite of all that, she missed being with him. She was sure he would have been amenable to her staying with him and right now they could have been engaged in some really pleasurable activities. Instead she was going back to that empty and very depressing room of hers to face a lonely night.

She opened her door and saw a note lying just inside. It was a message from Irun asking if she would be free at mid-day so they could have a meal together. _At least_, she thought, _I can make a start, but Akkarin needn't think I'm going to keep away from Regin!_

Despite her mingled anger and regret, and the turmoil it created in her mind, Sonea soon fell asleep and although she was aware of dreaming heavily, she could remember nothing when she awoke. She was shocked to find it was almost past the time for breakfast, so she washed and dressed in a hurry, using magic to hurry along the process. She didn't want to miss Akkarin.

But by the time she reached the Food Hall, she could see that it was already more than half empty. There was no sign of Akkarin, but she was hopeful that he too had slept late and would be along in a minute. She collected her rolls and honey and took a large mug of raka. She found a table in an out of the way corner and kept her eyes on the entrance as she ate.

There was no Akkarin among the latecomers, but she did spot another familiar figure. She smiled happily. _Rothen_ she sent, _I'm over here. _The Alchemist looked around, appeared to hesitate for a second, then came over to her table and sat down. For a moment, he said nothing, but stared intently at her. Her welcoming smile faltered a little under his scrutiny and unbidden her mind flew back to her last meeting with him at her Hearing. She remembered the reproach in his eyes.

"Sonea," he said at last, a little awkwardly, "You're looking well."

"It's good to see you Rothen," she replied perhaps a little too eagerly. "It's been such a long time."

He continued to stare at her, "I often wondered how you coped, in the wastelands. I'm glad to see you weren't harmed."

His voice was carefully neutral, as was his expression. Sonea felt on the verge of tears. Rothen, her oldest friend in the Guild, the one who had tried to take care of her when she first arrived, the father figure who had hoped to become her father in truth when she married Dorrien, had no idea how to treat her. _Does he still regard me as a criminal?_ she wondered. _Does he still blame Akkarin for it all?_

"Yes, it was difficult at first," she replied, forcing herself to sound cheerful, "but Akkarin looked after me and we survived all the dangers."

At the mention of Akkarin's name, Rothen's face tightened. "He treated you well, then?" he asked.

"I couldn't have survived without him."

"And you stayed with him, all these years?"

She looked directly into his eyes, "Yes."

Rothen's gaze slipped away from hers. It was obvious to her that he was uncomfortable with the implications of her answers. She wanted to tell him everything, their love, their life together and most of all, their child, but instinct told her he wouldn't understand and his next words confirmed it.

"I'd hoped you would begin to see him for what he really is, once you were out of here and he was no longer High Lord, once the glamour of the silken robes and everyone bowing and scraping around him was gone, but it seems I was mistaken."

"It isn't like that, Rothen…" she began, but he held up his hand.

"No, don't Sonea, I don't want to hear it. I shall never forgive myself for letting you go to live in the Residence. I should have told them what I knew and damned the consequences."

Rothen's voice was full of suppressed anger and it looked as if he would say more, but a shadow fell on their table, and Akkarin's quiet voice intruded, "Lord Rothen, renewing old acquaintances, I see."

Despite herself, Sonea jumped a little, startled that he could come upon them without her knowing. She smiled up at him, but he was staring at Rothen whose face had first whitened, then reddened under Akkarin's scrutiny.

The Alchemist got to his feet, "Lord Akkarin," he said stiffly, "There are some acquaintances one should not seek to renew."

Sonea watched him walk away from them and out of the Food Hall, as Akkarin slipped into the seat beside her. "I'm sorry to be so late," he said, "but I needed to see someone rather urgently. Have you finished eating or shall I fetch you some more?"

She glanced down at her plate and the crumbled remains of her roll, "I'm not hungry, just the raka will do."

"Don't let Rothen upset you," he said softly. "It's me he hates, he's still very fond of you."

"I want him to understand, about you, about me, and Justen, but I realise it's hopeless."

Akkarin didn't reply, but smiled briefly at her before going to collect his breakfast. Later, when he had eaten, she told him about the note from Irun, but not about her plan to spy on Regin and Kelda. He nodded approvingly, "Young magicians like Irun can be very useful to us and you are the best person to befriend her, I certainly couldn't. Try to find out as much as you can. I shall be with the Warriors all day, don't bother to wait for me at mid-day."

She watched him walk over to a group of Warriors lounging near the door. She noticed that hers were not the only eyes which followed his progress. Some of the watching magicians were openly hostile, some seemed simply curious, but many of the females were looking at him in a way she couldn't like. Once Akkarin and the Warriors left, many of the eyes turned in her direction. She hurriedly drained the last of the raka and got up, anxious to get away from the silent scrutiny.

She spent the morning in the Library, partly hoping Regin or Kelda would appear, but also to do some research. She worked her way through the volumes of information about the novices who had joined the Guild after she left. She also made careful notes about the magicians who were newly qualified and which discipline they had joined. Gradually a picture emerged of a slow but steady decline in the numbers of novices joining the Guild. This last year, for the first time in more than two decades, there were no foreign-born magicians accepted as novices and only three Kyralians. The other thing she noticed was the significant increase in the numbers of Warriors since Balkan became High Lord. Almost every newly qualified male magician had joined his former discipline and Warrior numbers were now at their highest level for decades.

It was obvious that Balkan feared something and was taking steps to protect himself and the Guild, but from what? Sonea puzzled over this for some time. She thought back to her meeting with the new High Lord soon after her capture. Yes, Balkan was obviously worried by something, but she just couldn't quite put her finger on it.

By the time she had finished making notes, it was time to meet Irun. Her message had not said where they were to meet, so Sonea sat outside the Food Hall and waited. It was a warm day, and it was pleasant simply to sit and let her mind drift a little.

"Sorry I'm late, hope you haven't been waiting long."

Sonea opened her eyes to find Irun standing in front of her. She was just about to reply when she noticed another girl at her side. Something must have shown on her face, because Irun hurriedly said, "This is Neeve, she's a final year novice. We come from the same village and she wanted to meet you."

Sonea looked at the novice. She was taller than Irun, with a sharp-featured face and curly brown hair. She was looking at Sonea with undisguised interest, a wide smile across her lips.

"Oh yes," Neeve breathed in a wispy little voice, "when Irun told me you had spoken and she was going to meet you for a mid-day meal, I wouldn't let her rest until she agreed to bring me along."

Neeve held out her hand so that Sonea was forced to take it. The novice had a surprisingly firm grip, so unlike her little girl voice, that Sonea was momentarily confused by the conflicting signals. She nodded at the novice and murmured a greeting before turning to the Healer.

"I'm feeling hungry, Irun," she said, "shall we go in?"

Today's meal was almost a replica of the one Sonea had eaten on the first day of her return. She took a small portion along with some bread and a cup of watery wine. They found a table in a quiet corner and sat down. Initially, the conversation tended to be limited to social pleasantries. Irun spoke about her work with a Healers' clinic in the city and Neeve talked about her classes. Sonea didn't quite know how to turn the conversation around to the things she was most interested in. _Perhaps I should let this meeting be a getting to know you one and leave the difficult things to the next time_, she thought. _Hopefully Irun will be on her own then!_

"So, Lady Sonea," said Neeve in her whispery voice, "tell us all about your adventures. You must have had some interesting times since you left the Guild."

The novice was smiling at her, but her smile didn't reach her eyes and all at once Sonea was on her guard. She returned a vague, non-committal answer. For a moment, she was sure she could see something in Neeve's eyes which didn't bode well, but it was gone in a flash and afterwards, she convinced herself that she had imagined it.

"It must have been difficult, being sent into the wastelands with nothing," the novice persisted. "How did you manage?"

Sonea smiled at her sweetly, "As you can appreciate, it was a dreadful experience and I don't like to talk about it. Tell me about your life in your village instead."

But Neeve was disinclined to talk about herself or her village. Using a forthcoming test as her excuse, she said she needed to go to the library. Watching her walk away, Sonea made a mental note to find out more about Neeve and the sort of plans she might have.

Soon afterwards, Irun too said she had to leave. "I've really enjoyed talking to you Sonea," she said. "I hope we can meet again soon."

"I hope so too, Irun."

Later, Sonea went back to the library and found the entry for Neeve in the Novices' Ledger. She had done well in her examinations during her time as a novice and would soon complete her noviciate. From comments in her record¸ it seemed as if Neeve would become an Alchemist once she graduated.

_I wonder if she's a friend of Kelda's too,_ Sonea thought. _I must try to find out._


	25. Reflections

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Reflections**

The sights and smells of the busy market evoked a rush of memories she hadn't thought about for years. Sonea remembered the excitement of stealing fruit from traders' stalls, of running wild with her friends, and of staying out late into the night. She remembered the tricks she and Cery played on long-suffering food vendors, in order to get hold of a few meat pies or sweet cakes and nowadays she felt a little ashamed of the ragged dwell child she had been. _We were lawless_, she thought. _No concern or care for those we harmed. It was all just fun to us. At least Cery had the excuse of wanting to become a Thief. I had no such excuse._

She was sitting on a bench, close to the centre of the market, sipping raka and watching the world go by. Despite the hustle and bustle, it was a good place to think. She had never really been able to think properly in the Guild. Even when she was a novice, she would go to her secret place out by the rocks to try to get things straight in her mind.

_Of course, **I** thought it was a secret place_, she thought ruefully, _but naturally Akkarin knew all about it and found me there when he needed to._

She smiled to herself. Akkarin and the need to sort out her chaotic thoughts, the two things went hand in hand. It occurred to her that Akkarin had been dominating her thoughts in one way or another for almost a decade now. Sometimes she thought it was useless to even try to sort out what she felt or what she thought he felt. But old habits die hard, so she had come into Imardin to think through her various problems. It was Freeday and she was trying to make full use of it.

She had left the Guild early without waiting for breakfast. Her first call had been to the house where Justen was living. He seemed pleased to see her, but not as overjoyed as she had imagined, although he had smiled warmly and rushed to show her some of his favourite books. She had checked his progress with the mental exercises she'd taught him and he had shown off his ability to do them smoothly and quickly. She taught him a few more and stayed while he practised. But when she told him she must go, he had hugged her briefly, before turning away and going back to his books.

She must have looked upset, because Takan had hastened to reassure her that Justen was really pleased to see her, but had developed a good control over his emotions.

"He is a lot like Akkarin," Takan had said. "He is happy to exist within his own thoughts and not pine for what cannot be. He concentrates on the task he has to fulfil at that moment, and not on regrets or longing for something he can't have."

Those wise words had stayed with her during her walk to the market because they summed up Akkarin completely. Since his return to the Guild, she had not caught even a glimpse of his true feelings about the task the King had set him. _Not that I've seen that much of him_, she thought, not without bitterness, _only at some meal times and a few snatched minutes of conversation. _It seemed to her that he had slipped back into his cold High Lord persona, as unreadable as he had ever been. To her surprise and annoyance, she found herself intimidated by him in a way she had not experienced for years. Her lover had gone and in his place was the distant figure she remembered fearing as the newly designated High Lord's Novice.

She had tried to put all of these uncertainties aside and made a positive attempt to breach Akkarin's steely reserve. But nothing she could say would shake his resolve not to include her in whatever he was doing with the Warriors. In the end, she had resorted to a full-blown argument, complete with raised voice and cutting words, in an attempt to force him to change his mind. But Akkarin had simply assumed his cold High Lord mask, looked down his nose at her and commanded her - and yes, it was unmistakeably a command – to keep herself out of his affairs and concentrate on the task he had given her.

"You didn't even want me to come with you, did you?" she flung at him during the height of the argument.

"No, I did not," was his cool reply, "but of course, you had other ideas, as usual."

After that, her only satisfaction was a slammed door as she took herself back to her rooms, only to remember a little later that they'd planned a night together. Her pride wouldn't let her go back, so she spent yet another miserable sleepless night in the Guild.

By morning, she had convinced herself that he was simply using her and had been ever since she had followed him into exile, if not before then. He hadn't even wanted her, so her thoughts ran, until she had practically thrown herself into his arms, and even then, he had tried everything he could to turn her away. Oh yes, he had turned out to be a skilled lover and they had had some extremely pleasurable and passionate moments, but all she could think about now was the many attempts he had made to escape from her and his reluctance to say the words she had always longed to hear.

She rose from her bed, determined to put their relationship on to a more businesslike footing. They both had a task to perform, and once it was over, she would take Justen and go away somewhere, leaving Akkarin free to follow his own inclinations. _Perhaps he will come with you_, her treacherous mind whispered slyly. All her newfound resolve couldn't prevent the way her heart leapt at the thought.

A day or so later, in sheer desperation to find out what Akkarin was up to, she had followed him to the Arena. There she had seen him training a group of Warriors, his black outer robes discarded as he played a full part in the physical exercises he'd devised. He easily dominated the proceedings, drilling the Warriors ruthlessly, making them repeat moves over and over again until their weariness began to show. She unashamedly listened to some of the comments from others in the audience. They were divided between those who felt he was attempting to form his own faction with a view to obtaining power again, and others who felt that at last, someone was taking an interest in the Warriors' proper role of defending the Guild, rather than its current one of spying on its members.

She watched the exercises avidly and wished she were down there with the others. It was funny really, she had fought Akkarin tooth and nail when he had instructed her to have special Warrior training with Yikmo, only discovering during the course of her private lessons that she rather liked the opportunity to exercise her physical body and her magical powers at the same time. Now, forced to be a secret spectator, she yearned with all her being to be on the floor of the Arena, hurling forcestrikes, stunstrikes and all the rest at a variety of opponents.

_What do you want? _Akkarin's cool mental voice intruded on her thoughts and she glanced down to find him standing in the midst of the Warriors looking directly at where she was sitting.

She didn't reply, but got up and left. When she saw him later, he'd merely repeated his instructions to keep away from any activities involving Warriors, and she was too tired to argue.

_So, where are we? _That was the question concerning her at the moment. When Lorlen had come to say the Guild needed Akkarin and when the King repeated the same thing, she had been clear about what they both needed to do. Now, however, she had no real idea of what progress Akkarin was making. The brief session she had observed told her that Akkarin had collected a group of around twenty Warriors, barely enough to hold their own against the Ichani, if they attacked on several fronts. Of course, that might have been one group among many. She sighed in frustration. She didn't know and Akkarin wasn't telling!

She had thrown herself into the rather dull task she had been given. People were more used to seeing her around the Guild now, so she was able to overhear snippets of conversations, which she carefully stored away in her memory. These she noted down each evening, along with her impressions. She also spent a lot of time in the library examining the Guild's records for the various Disciplines, seeing if there were any connections between particular groups or individual magicians.

She noticed that the Warriors and Alchemists often formed little groups apart from the Healers. On the surface she couldn't find a reason for this seeming alliance. She had met with Irun quite a few times now, but frustratingly, the Healer was nearly always accompanied by Neeve, who seemed determined to probe Sonea about her life away from the Guild, no matter how many times Sonea turned away her questions. Her latest line of questions was mainly about Akkarin, poorly disguised as Neeve's own speculations about their life in exile.

Fending off Neeve and her intrusive questions meant she couldn't get as close to Irun as she wanted. The Healer seemed slightly in awe of Neeve and always deferred to her, letting the novice dominate any conversation. Sonea made a mental note to try to get the Healer on her own, even if it meant camping outside her door early one morning to catch her as she went to the bathhouse or to breakfast.

Sonea finished her raka and sighed. To answer her own question, where they were now was somewhere which might be called nowhere specific. Akkarin was seemingly only concerned with Warrior training and her own investigations had turned up a lot of loose ends and she couldn't yet see any clear pattern. The only obvious fact was that Balkan was using Warriors more like a secret army of spies than Guild defenders. _I need to look more closely at Balkan and what he is doing_, she thought. _That's going to be a bit tricky, I think! _She got to her feet; it was almost time to return to the Guild.

She turned away from the market and as she did so, she caught a glimpse of purple robes out of the corner of her eye. She took a closer look and saw it was Rothen, deep in conversation with someone she couldn't quite see. A pang went through her as she recalled their last meeting and she stifled her first inclination to go over to him. She was about to resume her journey when the person he was talking to came into full view. It was Neeve.

They hadn't yet seen Sonea, so she slipped behind a convenient stack of empty packing cases and sent out a thin probe of magic to see if she could hear what they were saying. Her probe met a barrier. _Now why would a magician and a novice need a sound shield for a conversation in the market? _Sonea's suspicions were aroused. Surely the only reason Neeve would have for talking to Rothen was to find out more about Sonea and Akkarin._ Neeve and her blasted questions! _But why would Rothen be willing to answer them, and behind a sound barrier too?


	26. The High Lord's Study

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**The High Lord's Study**

Sonea became aware that her tongue was poking out of the corner of her mouth as she tried to concentrate. Even though she was alone, she popped it back inside immediately. Akkarin often teased her about it, saying it wasn't the sort of thing a magician should do, so she was trying to break the habit. She grimaced and went back to her task. _You have to admit he's good_, she thought to herself. _I've been struggling with this lock for ages and I still can't un do it!_

She was crouched by the door at the end of the flagstone passage under the Residence's kitchens trying to open it. She had learned that Balkan was away from the Guild for a day or so and decided that this would provide a good opportunity to search the Residence. She was confident she could get back inside as she had watched everything Akkarin had done the last time. She had had no problems getting into the passages and even opened the first door without any trouble. But then she hit a snag.

Akkarin had set an additional lock on the door without a handle or lock and, try as she might, she had been unable to open it. She could just about see the intricate weave he had created, but exactly how to unpick it was a mystery to her. It was all very frustrating. After all, she had been studying with him ever since they had come to live at their mountain home, spending day after day working through his collection of books of magic, practising the tasks he gave her and, until now, she had been perfectly satisfied with her progress. But, it seemed, he still had his secrets and setting unbreakable magic locks was one of them.

She sat back on her heels and thought for a moment_. There must be a way!_ She cast her mind back to a lesson he had given almost five years ago. She concentrated on trying to remember the sequence of something he had taught her. They had been weaving air, making intricate patterns, wrapping one thread around another. _Yes! That was it!_

She bent once more to her task, unravelling the tiny weave but this time, the threads came away and vanished, one after the other until there was an almost soundless pop as the last of them disappeared. She'd done it. Now there was only the more traditional lock to do and it was a matter of moments to deal with that. The door vanished and she was through to the stairs. _Of course_, she thought ruefully, _there's another one of his special locks on the next door!_

Akkarin's magic was subtle and quite unlike any of the magic she had seen from other magicians, even her teachers' magic had been fairly ordinary in comparison. He was the strongest magician in the Allied Lands, but it wasn't simply a question of power, it was what he could do with it. The lock she had just undone, for example, appeared to be something quite frail, just a series of weaves, but it was the subtlety of the pattern which made it difficult to unravel. If she had not been studying with him, she would never have been able to unwork it. She hoped the second weave was like the first one.

However, when she reached the second door, she found it almost impossible to even see where the weave started or ended. She concentrated as hard as she could, keeping her eyes closed as she sent out her magic to try to identify the pattern. Nothing happened. She was unable to see anything.

After some minutes of unsuccessful effort, she sat down on the floor of the passage to recover. She felt tired and miserable and her head ached. _I shall never be able to open this door_, she thought. _He's much too good at magic and my talent is weak compared to his_. She dropped her head in her hands and felt the trickle of tears slip through her fingers as she realised she couldn't undo it. _Why did I think I could do this? _She became more and more convinced that she would never break the lock and after several minutes, decided to give up and go back to her room. _It was a silly idea anyway!_

She had gone halfway down the stairs when she suddenly stopped. _What am I doing?_ she asked herself sharply. _There's only one more difficult lock and I'm in. _She turned back up the stairs, but by the time she'd reached the door, her mood had darkened again and she remembered the difficulty she'd just had trying to see the weave. It was true, her magic was good, but not good enough. She would never be able to deal with the lock and it was a foolish waste of time to even think she could. She half-turned to leave, then a quiet laugh escaped her. _Oh, you cunning man! You've included a mood spell! _

She steeled herself to ignore the dark thoughts of failure and pressed on. The mood spell was strong and she couldn't prevent the feelings of worthlessness entirely, but she persevered. After a few minutes, the mood spell seemed to lose its power and she found she was able to brush its remaining influence completely aside. Now she could see the weave. It was more complicated than the first one, but now she knew how it was composed, she was able to slowly and carefully unwork it. It took a lot longer, but eventually her patience was rewarded and the door vanished and she was in the High Lord's study.

She wasn't entirely clear about what she was looking for, only that Balkan's absence gave her an opportunity to investigate. She looked around, finding it difficult to reconcile this uninspiring arrangement of rather dull furniture with the warmth and comfort of the study during Akkarin's time. Balkan seemed uninterested in things like comfort but perhaps that was simply a reflection of his time as a Warrior. _But Akkarin is a Warrior too,_ she thought, _and he knows how to create a welcoming atmosphere_. Balkan's taste seemed to run to very basic furniture. There were no decorative pieces dotted around and the only paintings on the walls showed battle scenes.

She went over to the desk. It was bare, except for a few pens and a loose pile of papers, pushed to one side. She sat down in the chair and pulled the papers towards her. Most of them were routine pieces of information and she was able to skim them quickly. However, towards the bottom of the pile, she found several sheets which looked much more interesting. They were lists of names, mainly of Warriors, but with the occasional Alchemist's name included, some she was very familiar with, but others she had only vaguely heard of. There was nothing to indicate why Balkan would have such lists. They were written in his own spidery hand, so he must have had a reason, and hopefully she would be able to figure it out later. Sonea pulled some paper from her pocket, and borrowing one of Balkan's pens, made a rough copy.

There didn't seem to be anything else of much interest, so she carefully replaced the papers where she had found them. As she did so, she dislodged the pen she'd been using and it rolled under the desk. She scrambled to find it; there must be nothing to show someone had been searching the study. As she reached for it, she noticed the telltale gleam of paper which had fallen to the floor. She picked it up. It was rather crumpled as if Balkan had made a half-hearted attempt to screw it up into a ball before throwing it away.

She regained her seat and smoothed the paper out. It was another series of names, but this time she had no difficulty in recognising any of them. Carefully set out on the paper in large capital letters were the names of Akkarin, Sonea, Lorlen, Regin and Irun. The names were connected with a series of arrows. Sonea frowned. Why was Irun's name on the list? It was shown with an arrow pointing at her name, so Balkan obviously knew of their meetings. Why wasn't Kelda's name on the list? Or Neeve's? Sonea couldn't work it out. She made a copy and decided she would worry about it later.

She made sure there was nothing else on or around the desk. She tried to open the drawers, but they were locked and she didn't want to leave any trace of her magic by trying to open them. She went over to the bookshelves. They were mainly empty and what books were there tended to be fairly ordinary books with nothing to indicate that Balkan had an interest in any particular branch of magic. All in all, the study gave the impression that its owner was a rather dull person, uninterested in much beyond the duties of his office and his Warriors.

She was still looking around when she heard the unmistakable sounds of someone approaching the study. There was no time to reach the hidden door behind the shelves, so she needed to find somewhere to hide and quickly. There were no large pieces of furniture which provided cover and she couldn't simply crouch under the desk. The only place was behind the heavy curtains which shrouded the windows. She rushed over to them and scrambled behind just as the door opened. She sent a quick prayer to the Eye pleading that no one would find her hiding place.

"…the High Lord should be back shortly," she heard someone say, then a second, more familiar voice said, "It is important that I speak with him immediately he returns."

_Osen! _she thought, _Let's hope he doesn't decide to wait!_

"I'll tell him, Administrator," the servant replied.

"I'll leave this for him. Ask him to look through it as soon as he returns."

She heard footsteps move towards the desk, then after a short pause, move away again. Then, to her relief, the door closed and she heard them retreat down the corridor. She stayed where she was a few minutes longer, just in case either returned. When she was sure she was safe, she came out from behind the curtain and looked at what Osen had left.

It was a thick sheaf of papers, tied between leather covers. She undid the bindings and examined the contents. At first glance, she was unsure what it was, but as she read on, it soon became clear.

'Zenna spent ten minutes in conversation with two others, before leaving the garden…'

'After Warrior training, Habin was seen meeting with final year novice, Marre…'

There were dozens of similar entries recounting meetings and the length of time spent in conversations. _Reports from Balkan's spies! _Sonea flicked through them quickly, trying to spot her own name. She found several entries, all describing the people she'd met and where she had gone. Luckily, it seemed, no one had followed her into the Library and found her hiding place, although they had recorded the times she had visited.

Akkarin was also mentioned, but his entries were concerned with his training sessions, who had gone to them, whether or not they'd had private conversations, and how long the sessions lasted.

She would have liked to have spent more time reading, but she was aware that Balkan was expected back soon. She had to leave and she had to be careful to cover her traces. She rebound the papers and used magic to remove any trace of her presence, concentrating on the desk area and its contents. When she was satisfied, she returned to the passages. Her first task was to return the door and reseal it. She had no problem with the first part, the door slid into place and a traditional magic lock only took her seconds to create. The more difficult part was to replace Akkarin's second lock. She contemplated not bothering, but it was important that Balkan didn't discover any more of the secret passages, especially one which led to his private study.

She spent precious time trying and failing to recreate Akkarin's weave. In the end, she substituted one of her own and hoped it would be sufficient. She did the same at the second door and breathed a sigh of relief. _Now to bed and a good night's sleep_, she thought.

She regained her rooms unseen and set her usual lock. The room was in darkness, with only a weak beam of light from the Eye penetrating the window. Suddenly, Sonea knew she was not alone. Someone else was waiting for her, still as a stature, but she could sense the presence clearly. She reached carefully under her robe until her hand rested on the handle of her black magician's knife. As she did so, a black shadow rose silently from the corner.

Then a very familiar voice murmured, "And where have you been, Sonea?"

_Akkarin! _How like him to just appear inside a locked room and sit in darkness for however long until she returned.

"I have been exploring the passages," she said with a smile. "I thought it would be useful."

He made no reply but came up to her and tilting her chin, kissed her lightly on the lips. "And I thought you would be here, waiting…" his tone was teasing and she could feel the first stirrings of desire.

"If I'd known you were going to visit, I would have been…waiting….' Her tone matched his, as she reached up to pull his face towards her. She felt his arms slip under her robes and round her back. After that, she ceased to think about anything other than the pleasure of lying in a warm and tender embrace, for somehow, they were in her bed, their clothes gone, with the heat of desire overwhelming them both.


	27. An Unexpected Meeing

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**An Unexpected Meeting**

It was still dark, the Eye had set long ago, but Sonea's eyes had grown so used to the absence of light, she could distinguish the shadows of furniture as darker patches in the darkness of her bedchamber. She was lying, curled up against Akkarin, her head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. She didn't want to move and break the feeling of connection she had with him. It had been so long since they had lain like this and she didn't want to end it, because it may be a long time before they were together again.

Their lovemaking had been urgent and full of desire, as if the lack of it in recent times had somehow fuelled their passion. _It was almost worth the absence_, she thought, smiling inwardly, _but not quite_. She had tried to enter his mind, to experience the extra pleasure she had discovered before, but she found that his defences were firmly in place and entry was denied her.

Afterwards, he had held her close and she had fallen asleep cradled in his arms. Sleep had not lasted long, however, and she had spent the time since then reliving each element of their coupling so as to carefully store every delicious moment in her memory.

_So where were you, Sonea? _Akkarin's mental voice whispered through her consciousness with a suddenness which made her start.

_I told you, in the passages. _She hoped he could not hear the thread of tension in her words.

A pale globelight appeared, casting soft light among the darkness. She felt rather than saw Akkarin's intent gaze and strengthened her defences in case he tried to read her surface thoughts.

She heard his ghostly laughter, _Ah, but you didn't say where in the passages and that's the most important part…._

She sat up, trying to give herself time to think. He would be persistent, so it actually came down to whether or not she told him about where she had really been now, or later. _This is silly_, she thought, _we are on the same side here! _

"If you really want to know," she said quietly, "I went back to the Residence."

She had a moment of triumph as a look of surprise gleamed in his eyes; whatever he had been expecting her to say, that wasn't it. "The Residence" he said slowly, "and did you go in?"

A cheeky grin spread across her face, "Yes I did. I unworked both your locks and overcame the mood spell. It was easy!"

Again, he almost, but not quite, suppressed surprise at her words, "Unworked my locks, did you? I must have made an error."

She smiled slowly, "No, you are a good teacher and I learned well."

"So, what did you discover?"

She began to tell him of the lists of names, but he brushed that aside quickly, urging her to describe more interesting finds. She told him of the reports from Balkan's spies, the endless pages of them, the carefully noted names, dates and times. Akkarin looked thoughtful.

"There have been mumblings amongst some of the Warriors, mainly, I have to say amongst the older ones, about being used to spy on their fellow magicians. They find it demeaning," he murmured.

"The lists I found seem to be compiled mainly by newly qualified magicians."

"Yes, Balkan is popular among the younger Warriors, mainly because he has given them a lot of extra privileges. They do his bidding without question and these make up the majority of his spies. I've tried to gently suggest that spying on their fellows does not fit with the Warrior Code, but have had little success. I'm regarded with deep suspicion, understandably, so progress is almost non-existent."

_Finally, he's talking to me about his work_, she thought with satisfaction, _now how to encourage more of his revelations?_

"How is the training working out?" she asked. "How many Warriors have you had coming to your sessions?" She hadn't quite given up hope of being allowed to join in.

But Akkarin was too wily to be led on through questioning and he returned a non-committal answer, asking her instead about her investigations in Balkan's study. She was in two minds about revealing the additional list she had found under his desk. _If he won't let me in on his plans, why should I tell him about mine? _

She was aware of just how childish that sounded, but she had her pride after all and she needed something positive to do. The smaller list would remain her secret and she would devote her energies to finding out what it meant. _Why Irun?_ That was the question she needed to answer.

Akkarin slid from the bed and slipped on his clothes. "I must return to my rooms," he said softly. "I'll join you for breakfast." He kissed her and then he was gone. She tugged the bedclothes around her, trying to keep the warmth from his body close to her, but all too soon, the sense of him faded and she was truly alone again.

Sleep was impossible, so she rose and washed quickly, pulling on her black robes against the chill in the room. She lit a globelight and sat at her desk, the crumpled piece of paper with the five names spread out before her. She could understand the first three. Lorlen had been Akkarin's Administrator and worked closely with him, she had shared his exile and his life since, but why were Regin's and Irun's names on the list?

Did Balkan know of her difficulties with Regin during her noviciate? She had done all she could to keep those horrible episodes, where Regin and his friends attacked her at every opportunity, to herself. She now suspected that Akkarin had known, but had anyone else? No one had ever mentioned them to her and she was sure Regin would have kept quiet. Attacking a fellow novice outside training in the Arena was not allowed and he would have been punished if the Novice Master had found out.

And Irun? Why her? Although Sonea had met with her several times, in reality she barely knew the Healer. Perhaps the spies had reported their meetings, many of which had been in the Food Hall, so hardly in secret. She had also eaten with one or two others a couple of times, but their names weren't on the list. It was all a puzzle and she couldn't see the pattern yet. She put the paper away in her box, hidden amongst some other notes, and sealed it. She would return to the list later on, and perhaps things would slot into place better.

ooo000ooo

She was idly playing with the remains of her mid-day meal, pushing the lumps of meat and vegetables around her plate, lost in thought, when a shadow fell over her table and she looked up. For a moment, she didn't recognise the Healer standing there, then a smile lit up her face.

"Dorrien!" she said cheerfully, "What are you doing here?"

He slid into the seat next to her and regarded her closely, "When Rothen told me you were back, I couldn't believe it," he said quietly. Sonea's smile died, Dorrien looked so stern and there was no warmth in his voice.

She tried to keep things light, "Why not? I have the King's pardon, and where else should a Guild magician be, but in the Guild?"

Dorrien said nothing for a moment, but kept staring at her, as if trying to discover something. Finally he said, "I don't know why the King pardoned you, or him for that matter, but it's not right and you know it."

"What do you mean?"

"Vows are vows and you broke yours. Black magic is forbidden. You knew that but still you learned it. Why? That's what I've thought about all these years, why would a young girl decide to learn something so forbidden that all references to it were destroyed?"

Sonea sighed. She had forgotten just how serious Dorrien could be and, to be fair to him, it was a difficult thing to explain, but she had to try.

"I needed to help Akkarin. He was fighting the Ichani on his own for years, and sooner or later, he would have not been able to stop them by himself. That's why."

"Akkarin!" Dorrien made no effort to hide his contempt. "It's all about him, isn't it? Rothen told me the whole story about why you went to live at the Residence. I felt sorry for you, all alone in that place with just him for company. But it wasn't like that, was it? How long did it take until he had you in his bed? A month? Two months? A year? How long before you were truly his creature in every possible way?"

The bitterness in his voice surprised her, until she remembered how close they had once been. "Dorrien, it wasn't like that. Akkarin behaved very properly towards me, he followed all the rules a Guardian should….."

"All the rules, Sonea?" Dorrien interrupted harshly. "Forgive me, but I am not familiar with the one which said teach your Novice forbidden magic and put her at risk of execution!"

"Dorrien…."

"And since then," he went on doggedly, "you've stayed with him. All these years when you had the chance to get away from him and make a life for yourself, you stayed!" He reached across and grabbed her wrist in a punishing grip, leaning towards her until they were almost touching noses. "Did he compel you? Is that it, a compulsion to keep you close to do his bidding in all things?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Dorrien!" she said sharply. "What I did was for the best of reasons, the protection of the Guild, just like Akkarin. As to why I stayed, the Guild sent us into exile hoping we would be killed by the Ichani. They sent us with nothing, not even an eating knife between us. To survive, we needed to work together, and it wasn't easy, but survive we did. We came back to fight the Ichani. They were not just our enemies, Dorrien, they were the Guild's enemies, the Allied Lands' enemies and we defeated them. Things like that forge a strong bond and that's why I stayed."

Throughout her impassioned speech, Dorrien stared at her, a growing look of distaste in his eyes. As she finished, he suddenly released her wrist, as if it had stung him, and sat back in his chair as if her mere presence would tarnish him. "You are not the girl I thought you were, Sonea. To think I wanted to spend my life with you, marry you, have children with you, when all the while, you were someone else entirely." He got up and turned to go, but then turned back, "I never want to see you again. You're despoiled, Sonea, a black magician's creature, not fit to be here!"

She felt herself grow pale, but kept her composure with difficulty. She watched him take a step away from her table, then he turned towards her for the last time, "Get out and take your master with you!" he hissed.

Red hot anger boiled up inside her and words just erupted from her mouth, "Akkarin didn't want to come back here but I persuaded him to return. Oh how I wish we had left you all to stew in your own juice! Take care how you treat me, Dorrian. After all I am a powerful black magician, and according to you, the epitome of evil!"

She had the satisfaction of seeing his face pale as he hurried away, but even that couldn't quell the misery welling up inside. First Rothen and now his son, the two people who had been so kind to her and who would have welcomed her into their family, both despised her. She had no allies there.

She looked up to see that many had witnessed the incident with Dorrien. Most of her audience were clearly unsympathetic and many openly mocking. She had to get away from them. She forced herself to walk slowly and proudly to the doors, her face expressionless. Once outside she had a momentary panic about where to go to get away from the hostility everywhere. Then it came to her, there was only once place.

It didn't take her long to find her old thinking place, out near the rocks. It had been years since she had needed it and it was rather like putting on a comfortable pair of old shoes. She sank to the ground, her back against a convenient rock and closed her eyes, letting the peace of the place calm her down. Time passed, she didn't know how much, but it was so tranquil simply sitting in the sun, just letting her mind float. The shadows moved around her and still she sat, reluctant to return.

_Sonea? Where are you? _Akkarin's mental voice was so soft she barely heard it and doubted anyone else would have either. She had no energy to reply. What was the point? He would find her sooner or later, she was sure. She continued to sit, eyes closed, listening to the sounds of birds and the light breeze rustle the leaves. It was rather sooner than she'd thought when she heard the crunch of boots along the overgrown path.

She opened her eyes as the familiar black clad figure emerged into the clearing. He came over and sat down at her side. He said nothing and she glanced at him a little anxiously, wondering why he had sought her out.

"I've been looking for you," he murmured and took hold of her hand.

It was this gesture which undid her and she felt tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She turned to him, "You were right, Akkarin, and I was so very wrong!"

A crooked smile crossed his lips and he looked rather smug as he said, "I usually am. What was I right about this time?"

"We should never have come back. You didn't want to, but I insisted and here we are beating our heads against a solid wall of hostility and suspicion. Nothing is going right and I can't see how we can deal with it all."

"What's happened to make you feel this way?"

"Dorrien! And you were right about him too. He despises me and hates you."

Akkarin laughed, a rich, warm, laugh full of good humour, "You're such an innocent in many ways. Of course he feels like that, he did want to marry you after all and you rejected him for a rather disreputable much older man. What did you expect, that he'd welcome you back to the Guild with open arms and let bygones be bygones?"

In spite of herself, she began to laugh too. Trust Akkarin to put everything into perspective. She gave a little tug on his hand and he opened his arms. She settled herself against him and gave a little sigh of something rather like happiness. They stayed like that for a while and Sonea let her eyes close again and her thoughts drift in more pleasant directions.

After a while, she murmured, "Why did you want to find me?"

"We've been summoned by the King."

She sat up suddenly, "The King has asked to see both of us?"

"Well, no, the summons was for me, but I shall not go without you. Merin needs to understand we are working together on this."

She felt a warm glow of satisfaction at this recognition that she was playing her part in trying to mend the Guild, not that she could see she'd actually done much yet, but at least Akkarin recognised she had a job to do. "When does the King expect us?"

"After the formal reception at the Palace this evening. We are to arrive unseen and will be conducted to his private apartments. I'll meet you by the stables two hours after our evening meal. Now go back to your rooms, I will follow in a few minutes."


	28. Intrigues

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Intrigues**

She had a lot of free time to fill before she need worry about the King's summons. It was too early for an evening meal and she hadn't been in the Day Room or the Night Room since her return. Sonea found herself wandering towards the Library and mentally shook herself_. Not the Library again! _Despite herself, a brief laugh escaped her. When she had been a novice, she had dreamed of having free time, when she could do what she wanted rather than have to follow a strict timetable. Now, of course, she had nothing but free time. She had gone to one of the lectures not long after she returned, thinking to improve her skills and knowledge, but the whispering and hostile glances had made her feel so uncomfortable, she had not repeated the experiment.

_So, where to go? _She was still thinking about it when she noticed Regin come out of the University buildings. He didn't stop to look around, but set off purposefully towards the gates. Without a moment's thought, she began to follow, using a little magic to prevent immediate recognition, should he happen to turn around. It wouldn't fool a clever magician, of course, but she had never felt Regin was particularly clever. A bully, yes, but clever, definitely not!

He went through the gates and turned down the road towards the city. She followed and was not surprised to see him turn off into the wooded area by the side of the road. He was likely going to meet someone and she made a quick prayer to the Eye, that it wasn't simply a lovers' tryst. After a few moments, he stopped and sat on a convenient fallen tree trunk. Sonea slipped behind a dense bush, which provided enough cover, yet let her see reasonably clearly.

After a few minutes, she heard the sound of someone moving through the wood. It was Kelda. The Alchemist went up to Regin and there was a period of rather passionate kissing while Sonea averted her eyes. It looked like a lovers' tryst after all. She decided to wait until they were fully involved in whatever they came to do, before she tried to move, but to her surprise, the kissing came to an end and Kelda joined Regin on the tree trunk. They were obviously waiting for someone else.

They were murmuring quietly to each other but Sonea was too far away to hear. She didn't want to use listening magic, because that had to weave itself around the target and she was afraid that Kelda or Regin would notice it. She risked a trickle of Healing, however, to deal with the painful cramp, which was starting to affect her legs, and tried to find a more comfortable position. She hoped it wouldn't be a long wait.

In the event it was a good half an hour before anyone else came. Sonea was almost at the point of giving up when she heard the telltale sound of footsteps among the leaves. This time, the magician wore green and Sonea was not as surprised as she might have been a few days ago to see Irun emerge from the trees. She went over to the others and an animated conversation took place. Sonea cursed the fact she couldn't hear but there was nowhere closer to move to unseen. She tried, instead, to judge the conversation by the body language and expressions of the three magicians. It was obvious that Regin was very much the leader, because on several occasions he silenced the other two, while he spoke. He must have made some sort of request to Irun, for the Healer shook her head rapidly and launched into a somewhat passionate argument, but Regin dismissed whatever she was saying with a brief hand movement and she shut up. Then it was Kelda's turn to speak forcefully about something, but again Regin's authority soon dampened her argument and for the rest of the time, the two girls listened quietly to what Regin was saying.

The group finished their discussion and they dispersed in the order they had arrived. Irun, looking rather pale left first, closely followed by Kelda. Regin stayed sitting on the fallen tree for several minutes after the others had left, before setting off after them.

Once he had gone, Sonea gratefully emerged from her hiding place and stretched her cramped legs. She was beginning to understand why Irun's name was on the list. She was obviously a spy, set to befriend Sonea and learn her plans. Sonea thought back to the first time she had seen the little Healer. _I had just had a run-in with Regin and she was in the corridor – yes that was it – conveniently waiting until I came along._ _I wonder if she had a long wait!_ Well now she knew and perhaps she would be able to make use of the spy to spread some confusion among the others.

ooo000ooo

Akkarin reached over and picked up an expensive looking book, all leather covers and gold lettering with the gleam of jewels as he opened it. He began to read and Sonea stared at him with impatience. They had been waiting for their meeting with Merin for almost an hour now and she was bored. They were in what was obviously the King's personal Library. The room was filled with fine furniture and sturdy carved bookshelves. Every shelf was crammed with old books, each with a gleaming title picked out in gold. She had looked at some of them. They were mainly about Kyralian law and other matters only a King could be interested in. There was a small section about hunting, but when she had taken one down for examination, she found it had no illustrations and was written in very small script which was difficult to read. Akkarin, on the other hand, had picked out several volumes and had settled down to peruse them.

She began to walk around the room, swishing her robes in an effort to attract some attention, but her companion continued to read without looking in her direction. Eventually she gave up and sat down in one of the large fireside chairs and contented herself with staring out of the window.

Not long afterwards, the King's Secretary came for them and they were shown into Merin's private study. It was a comfortable room, furnished with well-worn chairs and battered tables. It was a room that looked both lived-in and cared for, a place where the King could feel most at ease. A side table was set out with plates of food and pitchers of fruit juice as well as bottles of Akkarin's favourite wine. It looked as if this could be a long meeting.

Merin greeted Akkarin with warmth but merely gave Sonea one of his empty court smiles as she made her deepest bow. All his conversation was directed at Akkarin, but Sonea was determined not to allow herself to get into a mood over it. After all, she was used to the fact that the King disliked her, more so since Akkarin had refused the marriage Merin had picked out for him, so she settled her features into an expression of polite interest and waited to see what this was all about.

As the King and Akkarin exchanged information, Sonea began to realise this was not the first meeting between the two of them since their return to the Guild. _Something else Akkarin didn't share with me! _The King talked about the spies he had sent into Sachaka and thanked his former High Lord for suggesting the most reliable of those from Akkarin's network.

"They spent several days scouting around the border area," Merin said, "and found rumours of several gatherings of the various clans. These were particularly strong in one area, so they travelled some way inland to investigate. You were right, Akkarin, the Ichani are on the move again."

Akkarin nodded, "I have long believed they would regroup and make another attempt on the Guild. Have you told Balkan?"

Merin got up and went over to collect more food, pouring himself another large glass of Anuren Dark and Sonea got the strong impression that he was reluctant to answer. He offered the bottle to Akkarin who refreshed his own glass and passed the bottle on to Sonea. She put it aside, feeling a clear head might be preferable to the warm, but slightly fuzzy feeling she got from drinking too much of the potent dark red wine.

Eventually Merin could delay no longer and looked decidedly uneasy as he shook his head, "I intend to, of course, but I wanted to speak with you first."

"A bad move, Merin," Akkarin said firmly, "Balkan is already angered by my reappearance. If he should find out you have used my spies and kept the information from him, he would be justified in refusing to cooperate further with your King's Magician. You cannot keep the High Lord of the Magicians' Guild in the dark about a direct threat to magic in the Allied Lands!"

Merin raised his hands in mock surrender, "I know, I know. I'll send a message to him now."

The King hastily scribbled a note on parchment, folded and sealed it. He rang a small bell and when the servant appeared, directed him to send it to the High Lord immediately. When the servant had gone, he looked up and smiled, "I've missed your firm advice, my friend."

Akkarin made no reply, merely sipping his wine but continuing to look calmly at the King over the rim of his glass. Sonea could feel the strong connection between these two men, so different in themselves, yet able to work so closely and effectively together_. Not like working with Balkan_, she thought, _he probably tries to bully the King and like all weak men, Merin is probably very. very stubborn_.

She was aware that the conversation had resumed. The King pulled a large map on to the table and both men bent over it. She craned her neck to see but it was too far away for her to see anything clearly. The two men carried on a lively conversation, pointing at various features on the map, while they discussed likely routes for the invaders to take.

"The last report I had mentioned ships," she heard Merin say.

"Ships? Hmm, that's rather unusual," Akkarin responded looking thoughtful, "In my experience of them, the Ichani feared the open sea…but, I wonder….."

He pulled the map closer and began examining it carefully, a frown creasing his forehead. Merin said nothing, simply watched as Akkarin's eyes flickered all over the map. Finally, he sat back in his chair and looked at the King, a crooked smile on his lips.

"I know that both the King's Guard and the Warriors have reinforced the Northern and Southern Forts and perhaps the Ichani prefer a less difficult entry into the Kingdom." He stabbed a finger at a point on the map and Merin bent to look at it. " Corres Fort, both a sea and a land fort. If the Ichani split their forces, with some attacking the land side and the rest attacking from the sea, there's a good chance the Fort will fall quickly."

Sonea could stand it no longer, and moved closer to the King, so that she could look at the map in comfort. She cursed anew her poor geography as she searched for the Fort Akkarin had described. Eventually she found it at the most northerly point on the Kyralian coast.

The King, in the meantime, looked rather alarmed, "The state of the Navy is not good," he muttered. "There's never been any real threat from sea-borne forces and the money has been used in other, more important areas."

Whatever discussion might have followed this was killed off by the sound of raised voices outside the room. All three turned towards the door as it opened and one of the King's servants attempted to introduce the visitor. In the event, he was pushed aside as Balkan swept into the room, then stopped dead as he saw the two black magicians, one on either side of the King. Administrator Osen, who had been following closely on the heels of his High Lord only just stopped himself from knocking into Balkan. Then he too stared at the King's other visitors.

A look of extreme anger flared briefly on the High Lord's face, but he schooled his features into a brief smile as he bent his knee, "Your Majesty, I came as quickly as I could." He paused and stared briefly at Sonea, before continuing, "I was not told you were already engaged with other visitors."

"Welcome, High Lord," the King said cheerfully, "May I offer you some wine or fruit juice?"

Balkan shook his head and spoke in a rather sharp tone, "What is so urgent that you sent for me so late at night, Your Majesty?"


	29. Akkarin's Decision

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Akkarin's Decision**

They were seated around the table, the King at the head, Balkan on his right opposite Akkarin, while she sat beside her lover and faced Osen. The refreshments had been offered and received and now they were waiting for the King to start.

The High Lord and his Administrator listened in silence as the King outlined the information he had obtained from spies. There was no mention of where the spies came from or of Akkarin's involvement, but Sonea was sure Balkan would have guessed. She was conscious of some mental conversation between the other two magicians in defiance of convention, but she could not distinguish any words. After Merin had finished, Balkan considered what had been said for a moment.

"The situation could become a grave one, Your Majesty, except for one thing." Here Balkan paused before looking round the table with what could only be described as a self-satisfied expression. "Since the last attack, I have been making plans to put more Warriors into the field. I can now report that the Warrior Discipline has more members than at any time in its history. We will be ready to meet any attack."

"Except for the inconvenient truth that one Ichani magician has the power of twenty brave Warriors." Akkarin's tone was pleasant, but Sonea could detect the underlying amusement she was so familiar with.

Balkan kept his face expressionless and his tone equally pleasant, "True, but the Warriors have been training hard for a number of years perfecting their battle skills. I am confident they can outwit a few Ichani. They have done it before."

_That old lie!_ Sonea was furious that Balkan still peddled his story about the Warriors defeating the last Ichani attack on the Guild. She opened her mouth to argue, but Akkarin's mental voice whispered _No, Sonea. Let it be._ She snapped her mouth shut and stared down at the table, unwilling to meet anyone's eye in case they could see just how furious she was.

Akkarin made no response to Balkan's statement, so the King asked the High Lord if he saw any significance in the mention of ships picked up by one of the spies. Balkan, a true Warrior to the core, had a soldier's typical disdain for the sea. He dismissed it as simply talk and suggested that perhaps the spy had mistaken a jest for real information.

Merin was disconcerted by this response and cast an anxious glance towards Akkarin who remained silent. There was an uncomfortable pause, then Sonea could stand it no longer and asked, "What is the Warrior strength at Corres Fort?"

If she had sprouted wings and flown up to the ceiling, Balkan and Osen couldn't have looked more surprised.

"Corres Fort?" the Administrator asked, "Why do you mention Corres Fort?"

It was Sonea's turn to look surprised, "Ichani, ships, fort, sea coast," she said emphasising each word.

Balkan gave her a withering glance, "Corres Fort is a small fort in an out of the way part of the Kingdom. It has never been attacked and its main task is to ensure that traders pay their custom dues."

"So, not many Warriors?" Sonea asked patiently.

"No!" Balkan snapped and turned his attention back to the King. Merin pulled the map back on the table and pointed to Corres Fort, "Lady Sonea has a point, the fort has few warriors, has a land side as well as a sea entrance, so if the Ichani were thinking of a sea-borne attack, then Corres Fort would seem a good place to choose, don't you think so, High Lord?"

The King's question forced Balkan to consider the point. He stared at the map before saying grudgingly, "It's one possibility, I suppose, but there has never been an attack from Sachaka which has been by sea."

"All the more reason to consider it, High Lord." Akkarin's voice was matter-of-fact. "The Ichani have been defeated using their usual approach across the wastelands and through the Northern and Southern Forts. If they have a new leader, with new ideas, then we should consider the possibility that the King's spies are correct and the Ichani have been making enquiries about obtaining ships."

"Hmm, there's no reason not to consider it as a very remote possibility," Balkan replied, "but I consider any attack will come through our land borders, that's why I have reinforced our existing strength. There are only two places an attack can come by land, the Northern and Southern Forts. Anything else is a distraction."

Akkarin stared at the High Lord for a moment, then turned to the King, "Your Majesty, I would like to investigate the situation at Corres Fort."

"Lord Akkarin, you've heard my opinion," Balkan said sharply, "I do not consider there is a need to investigate the situation, as you put it. You do not have permission to leave the Guild environs."

"I am the King's Magician, High Lord, and I do not need your permission to visit the King's Fort." Akkarin's voice was cold and two spots of high colour bloomed on the High Lord's cheeks as he remembered the special position Akkarin held.

"My pardon, Your Majesty," he said stiffly, "of course if Your Majesty wishes your…err...Magician to visit Corres Fort, then, naturally, I have no objection."

"Of course Lord Akkarin has my permission to go anywhere in the Kingdom any time he deems necessary," Merin said quickly. "Now, let us consider the information my spies have gathered. What is your opinion regarding the reports of meetings between Ichani clans, High Lord?"

"It's difficult to gauge the degree if threat because we have so little information about the Ichani. It may be merely the meeting of a few isolated groups and could be concerned with trade rather than invasions."

"I beg to differ, High Lord," Akkarin said. "I have intimate knowledge of how the Ichani operate and different groups meet only in exceptional circumstances. They are not like our villagers, regularly meeting up at markets or other events. Each clan operates very much on its own, taking and holding territory by driving out the inhabitants and keeping out rivals. They capture slaves to feed their magic and they have a strong suspicion of other clans. If these reports are true, then something much more significant is happening."

"Just how close is your involvement with the Ichani, Lord Akkarin?" Osen asked slyly.

Before Akkarin could answer, Sonea broke in, "He fought them for years and prevented them from entering the Guild when they invaded Imardin. If anyone in Kyralia knows anything about the Ichani, it is Akkarin!"

"Thank you, Sonea, but the Administrator is not interested in old history," Akkarin said coolly. "You will have to take my word for it, Osen. I have studied them for years and even lived among them. Believe me, if various clans are seeking each other out, then something is afoot."

The Administrator didn't seem disposed to take Akkarin's word for anything. His lips thinned in disapproval and he opened his mouth to continue the argument, but Merin had had enough.

"You will listen to Lord Akkarin. I have complete faith in his understanding of our enemies." Merin said firmly in that regal tone which could not be argued with.

"Of course, Your Majesty, I am sure we are all grateful for Lord Akkarin's contribution." Although Balkan didn't sound particularly grateful, his words were sufficient to cause Osen to subside.

"Now, gentlemen, we must decide what action to take. Lord Akkarin, as we know, wants to investigate the situation at Corres Fort, but what about you High Lord? What action will the Guild take?"

"I shall increase my Warrior patrols, redoubling those in the foothills of the Steelbelt Ranges. That is where I'm sure the threat is greatest. I'm happy that both Forts are well resourced both with Guards as well as Warriors."

"Lord Akkarin?" Merin asked.

"I would like to take my group of Warriors with me to the Fort. As you know, we have been training specifically to meet the threat of a number of black magicians. If our intelligence is correct, Corres Fort is at risk of being overwhelmed. I need to see what steps must be taken to reinforce it."

During this speech, the High Lord had been looking increasingly uncomfortable with Akkarin's plan and as soon as he had finished, he said sharply, "You may have the King's permission to go anywhere in Kyralia, but you cannot take my Warriors with you!"

"Then what was the point in allowing Akkarin to train them?" Sonea burst out. She was tired of being left out of any serious discussion and continued despite the mental instruction from Akkarin to keep quiet. "He has been spending hours and hours creating a force capable of at least holding their own against the Ichani. Are they to stay behind Guild walls because the High Lord has personal issues with their leader?"

Balkan turned his furious gaze on her, "Keep quiet!" he hissed. "You are back in the Guild under sufferance. You are not protected by the King and if I wish to send you away from here to somewhere like Greyfort where you can spend the rest of your days filling out papers, I will do it!"

Sonea felt a cold hard lump form in her stomach. She had no doubt that if pushed too far, Balkan would make good his threat. The King's protection didn't extend to her, Merin had made that quite clear. His involvement with her had ended with her pardon. What happened to her afterwards was a Guild matter. She didn't need the warning glance from Akkarin to know she must curb her unruly tongue. Luckily, the King had something to say and the High Lord's attention was diverted away from her.

"It is my wish that my Magician be accompanied by those Warriors he has trained specifically for battles with the Ichani. I am sure the High Lord will be agreeable. After all he did allow the training to take place and it would seem a foolish waste to keep them away from where their skills are best used. I'm sure, on reflection, you will see that is a sensible position to take, High Lord."

"Yes, Your Majesty," Balkan didn't look particularly happy but the King's words had put him in a difficult position. To continue his opposition to Akkarin taking his Warriors would have looked petty at best and stupid at worst, but at the same time, he was distrustful of Akkarin's motives. After a moment of thought, he found an answer.

He looked directly at Akkarin, "The King is correct, Lord Akkarin. It is a sensible proposal to take the specially trained Warriors. I will join you on your journey to Corres Fort, along with some of my Warriors and together we will investigate the possibility of an attack in that area."

_Balkan's going too. That will be interesting_, Sonea thought to herself. _I'll be able to keep a close eye on him and his private little army!_

"Thank you, High Lord, your presence and your additional Warriors will be most welcome." Nothing of Akkarin's real thoughts could be discerned through his pleasant expression and warm tone.

Sonea almost hugged herself with glee. To be free of the Guild with its factions and hostility would be most welcome to her too. _A task at last where my skills can be put to a proper use!_

"I'm pleased we have agreement. Now time for some refreshments I think." The King got up and honoured his visitors by personally fetching glasses of wine, juice and plates of savouries. Conversation reverted to the meaningless pleasantries exchanged at such times. Sonea found herself talking with Osen, who seemed curious about her daily life now she had returned. She managed to describe her days in such a way as to let him think she was engaged in private study. _As I am_, she thought, _but not the kind he thinks!_

After a suitable period of relaxation, the King called the meeting to order again. "We must consider when your journey to Corres Fort will take place," he said.

"I feel there is some urgency in the situation," Akkarin responded. "The information from your spies shows that the meetings have been more frequent in the last month or so which leads me to think that any invasion is likely to take place soon. The quicker we can assess the situation at the Fort and its surrounding areas, the better. Otherwise we risk the Ichani getting across our borders before we know it and can react properly."

"Yes, I agree with Lord Akkarin," Balkan said. "The sooner we can put this idea to rest, the better we can concentrate on the areas where an attack is more likely. I suggest we leave by next Freeday. It shouldn't take long to organise our party."

Finally, the King took notice of Sonea's presence, "And your companion will accompany you, Lord Akkarin?"

"No, Your Majesty, my companion will remain at the Guild."

It hit her with all the impact of a blow to the gut. Remain at the Guild! How could he say that? How could he betray everything she stood for? With an effort, she kept herself still and hoped nothing of her inner pain showed on her face.

_Akkarin, what do you mean, remain at the Guild?_ Her mental voice was heavy with disbelief.

_We'll talk later. Keep silent!_

Somehow she got through the rest of the time in the King's apartments. Their journey back to the Magicians' Quarters passed in a blur. She couldn't prevent her mind chasing round and round in circles to the refrain of 'He's leaving me behind!' By the time they reached her rooms, she had got herself into a state of cold fury. The door closed behind them and she turned to let fly with her rage.

Akkarin didn't give her the opportunity. He seized her in a tight grip and stopped her mouth with a fierce kiss. She tried to fight him off, but he was too strong and she was unable to move. In her belly, cold rage was at war with hot desire, and she had no way of knowing which would win.

_You are beautiful when you are angry_….. She hated the amusement in his mental voice and refused to reply, merely redoubling her efforts to escape. But it was no use.

She felt herself being lowered on to her bed, his body hard against hers, holding her down. His hands began their knowing drift over her breasts and down to her thighs. Despite herself, she could feel heat overcome the chill of her rage and desire blossomed along all her nerves. He no longer had to hold her down, she embraced him willingly, her own hands tracing the smooth muscles of his back, lower and lower until she found the firm swell of his buttocks.

He took her swiftly and fiercely, setting up a steady rhythm which drove her desire deeper and hotter until all her existence was concentrated deep within herself as pleasure flared then exploded in the white heat of passion. Her heart was pounding and her breathing ragged as she came back to herself. She was lying crushed in his arms. She could hear how his heartbeat matched her own, feel the quick rise and fall of his chest and knew that his pleasure had been as great as her own.

Gradually his grip relaxed as their breathing slowed. _I think you are ready to talk now, _his mental voice whispered, _now that some of your furious energy has been put to a much better use….._

In spite of herself, she laughed. "You know me too well, Akkarin, whereas sometimes I think I hardly know you at all."

"I know you are angry at being left at the Guild, but we've been here before, haven't we? Once before I needed you here to ensure there was at least one black magician able to organise the defenders, and that time you outwitted me by refusing your judgement. This time, you have no option but to do as I say."

"My place is with you, watching your back," Sonea said softly, "not left here with nothing to do. You need me."

"I need you here. I shall not be gone for long, but just in case I do not return, the Guild will still have you. Merin will make you the next King's Magician and you can continue my work."

Now that her rage had been channelled into more interesting areas, she was able to think clearly about what Akkarin proposed. She could see his point of view, she didn't agree with it, but she could understand it. If they were two different black magicians, she would not quarrel with his plan. But they weren't two different black magicians, they were Akkarin and Sonea, with all that implied, their history together, what they had shared, the pain and the suffering, discovery and longing, and she could never agree.

However, now was not the time or the place to argue. It would spoil what they had just had. _Better to let him think he has convinced me_, she thought, _and I'll decide what to do in the morning…_

She smiled up at him and took his face between her hands, reaching up she covered his mouth with her own, letting the tip of her tongue trace the outline of his lips before slipping it inside to entwine with his. He responded as she thought he would, so she gave herself over to the pleasant task of giving and receiving pleasure, deliberately thinking of nothing else except the long night ahead.


	30. The Morning After

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**The Morning After**

Akkarin had slipped away just before first light, leaving Sonea warm and drowsy. She had drifted off to sleep again, only to jerk awake a couple of hours later. She hurriedly washed and dressed and went to get breakfast. The Food Hall was only sparsely occupied by the time she arrived and she was able to find a corner on her own, so she could think and eat.

It was always the same, she decided on a course of action, was determined to put it into operation, then Akkarin changed her mind one way or another. It was so frustrating to find herself so easily manipulated, for manipulation it was, no matter how uncomfortable the thought. This last time, it had been through robust lovemaking that she'd been turned from her purpose to argue her case for accompanying Akkarin. He had allowed no initial discussion and by the time he had decided it was time for talk, she had been successfully diverted into another frame of mind.

As always, following events such as last night's, she was wracked by doubts. Did he truly love her or was she simply a convenient lover, who was also a useful black magician? It was true what she had said last night, he knew her so well whereas she was uncertain of his intent or his feelings for her. Just when she thought everything was straight in her mind, along he came and did something which threw everything back into uncertainty. She sighed. It was difficult for her to accept that she was so often manoeuvred into doing exactly what Akkarin wanted. _But not always_, her mind whispered comfortingly. _There have been times when you have done exactly the opposite!_

She smiled, that was certainly true. There had been many times when she had defied him and she was planning to do so again. She needed to find a way of either joining the group heading for Corres Fort, or following closely behind. At this moment, she didn't really care which method she used, just as long as she went too. It would require some careful use of magic so that her presence was not detectable. Luckily, she had recently studied some techniques, which might come in handy, and she could always check out some other useful spells in the Library's reference books. Luckily, Freeday was three days away, so she had some time.

The Food Hall servants were hovering, waiting to clear out the last few magicians so they could clean the place and get ready for the mid-day meal. As she would be travelling on Freeday, she decided to visit Justen today instead. She felt a prick of conscience as she thought about her son. He had rather taken second place to what was going on in the Guild. She couldn't fool herself though, for she had known how it would be once her decision to return with Akkarin had been made. She had had to make a choice, and that choice had been to devote most of her time to Akkarin and his task. Some would find it difficult to think a mother could put her child second, behind her lover, but she couldn't have lived with any other course of action, no matter how bad the decision made her feel at times. Justen had Takan after all, who loved and protected him, so it wasn't as if he had been left with strangers or simply abandoned. She managed to see him at least once a week, and she knew that Akkarin also frequently visited the boy, but still her conscience poked and prodded her. _You are a bad mother_, her mind said sternly and wouldn't be silenced. _You neglect your son!_

She decided to go some way towards soothing her inconvenient conscience by looking in the market to see if there was something she could buy Justen. She left the Guild through the main gates and the Warriors on duty made no attempt to stop her or query her leaving. They never did, contributing to her certainty that she was insignificant as far as the Guild authorities were concerned. _Well, we'll see about that!_ She carried a pack containing a large blue cloak which she could use to disguise her robes, once she was near to where Justen lived. It would not do for a robed magician to be seen regularly visiting the house. It could draw unwelcome attention.

In the market, she found a stall selling sets of wooden soldiers and bought some for Justen. Just for fun, she found a few figures of Warriors and added them to the soldiers. _Justen has magic and one day he may become a Warrior like his father, _she thought, pushing aside the difficulties of getting a boy who could not speak accepted into the Guild_. It's time he began to prepare._

She automatically made sure she wasn't followed, hugging the cloak around her so that every bit of her robes was covered. She made her way round to the back of the house, knowing she would find Takan somewhere near the kitchen. Sure enough, she discovered him bending over a cooking pot from which a very tempting aroma rose, causing her mouth to water suddenly. There was nothing like Takan's cooking, so far above the standard fare from the Food Hall.

She exchanged pleasantries with Takan who revealed that Akkarin had visited the previous day. She pretended to know all about it because she didn't want to have to explain Akkarin's failure to let her know what he was doing. Not even Takan would understand.

_Syma, Syma?_

The unexpected mental voice calling her alias caused her to start. It wasn't the subtle whisper that Akkarin now used, nor was it a voice she recognised, besides, who apart from Akkarin would use her other name?

"What is it my lady?" Takan asked anxiously, worried by her sudden pallor.

"Nothing…..don't be alarmed. Where is Justen?"

"He's in his room."

She rushed out of the kitchen and through the corridors until she reached the main hall. She could still hear her name being called and responded, _Who are you?_

_Where are you?_

She was rewarded by a soft mental giggle and she knew it was Justen. She flew up the stairs and into his room. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded with books, looking up at her, an extremely pleased expression on his face.

_Justen, how long have you been able to speak like this?_

_A long time but no one answers!_

She picked him up, hugging him closely to her. At last her son could speak. He never needed to be silent again! How had he worked out what to do? She remembered her own difficulties when she first used mental communication, and she'd had Guild teachers to show her what to do, yet Justen, still only a small boy, had somehow worked it out for himself.

_Have you spoken to your father?_

_Verrin doesn't hear me. _

Sonea was puzzled. Normally magicians could hear mental communication unless it was sent along a very tight band, rather like the way she and Akkarin used it. Balkan and Osen in the King's apartments were another example of making it difficult for other magicians to hear, but Akkarin should have been able to hear his son, especially if the boy had been in the same house at the time.

_Did you try yesterday?_ she asked.

_Yes but Verrin didn't hear._

The more she thought about it, the more puzzled she became. She would have liked to talk to someone about it, but that was impossible. No one knew of the existence of the child outside of a very few people and she wanted to keep it that way. Lorlen was a possibility, but she could imagine what Akkarin's reactions to that would be.

Everything about Justen had been strange, from the moment he was born. She could only think that the magical battle she had engaged in with the Ichani had played a part in making him so different. _Perhaps I shall be the only person who can hear him; something to do with being his mother and carrying him at the time of the battle, perhaps?_

She spent some time finding out exactly how well Justen could communicate, making it a game where she hid in various parts of the house or garden, sending clues until Justen found her. It didn't take him long. Considering he had had no training apart from the few mental exercises she had taught him, his use and control of his magic was exceptional despite being so young. Somehow, they would have to have him tested soon to find out how strong he was in reality.

They sat down to a tasty mid-day meal, Justen all the while chattering excitedly to her. All the years of frustration he must have felt in not being able to make himself understand were wiped away as he and his mother talked together for the first time.

Will you tell Verrin? If he knows you can hear me, then he'll be able to see why and do it too!

Sonea thought a moment before replying. She didn't want to say his father was going away for an undetermined period and of course she couldn't say anything about her own plans in case Akkarin saw the boy again before he left, so she fell back on to the words her aunt had used to her so often in her own childhood.

We'll see. Verrin is very busy at the moment.

Although Justen's excitement dimmed a little, he didn't brood on the matter. He was used to his parents not being with him and seemed to accept it. The rest of her time with Justen passed quickly. When it came to saying goodbye, she hesitated for a moment. How much should she tell him?

_Verrin and I will be busy for a few days_, she started_, so we may not be able to see you for a while. While we're away, you need to keep practising your little exercises. You know Takan can't hear you, don't you?_

Justen nodded.

But there are other people who might be able to hear you however it's very important they don't find you. While Verrin and I are not here, you must not speak. Do you understand?

_Why not Syma?_

She paused, unsure of how much to tell him. He was only a small boy and his understanding of the world was very limited. He'd lived an isolated life in the mountains, and his time in Imardin had been sheltered, so there was a limit to what he could understand.

Verrin and I have told you we have work to do in Imardin. Well, there are some people who would like to stop us. If they find out about you, they may try to use you in some way against us. We would prefer it if they never found you. Keeping quiet will help in keeping you hidden.

She had taken hold of Justen during this speech, looking directly into his eyes in an effort to stress just how important it was not to attract unwelcome attention. Justen stared back at her but she couldn't tell whether or not he really knew what she meant.

I mean it, Justen. You mustn't call out. Promise me you won't.

Justen nodded again, and this time he smiled, flinging his arms around her neck and giving her a big hug.

_I promise!_

_Good. Now I have a little present for you._

She gave him the pack of soldiers and Warriors and helped him set them up on the floor. Soon he was lost in his own world, moving the wooden figures around the floor, making mock battles and skirmishes. She left him playing happily, and was unsure if he even knew when she left.

On her walk back to the Guild, she thought about how much to tell Akkarin. He needed to know, but did he need to know now? He was going away, so there was nothing he could do in the immediate future. Perhaps she would tell him after the Corres Fort adventure, when they could both see Justen together and try to work out why she could hear him and Akkarin could not. Yes. That was the right course of action.

Now, all she had to do was to decide how she was going to join the magicians going to the fort without being caught by Akkarin!


End file.
